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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have mega mum guilt

138 replies

Crouchingdragonhiddentiger · 30/11/2024 22:58

…over not doing elf on the shelf?!

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

I’ve bought my 6 year old DS an advent calendar from Aldi and that’s it! I feel so tight now.

We are going round to a friends house tomorrow, who does it for her son, I have no idea what to say if mine starts asking why we don’t - because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way.

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MorrisZapp · 02/12/2024 09:51

I thought you were suffering from Maga mum guilt. I mean, nobody's perfect.

Fevertreelover · 02/12/2024 09:50

It’s total bs so well done for avoiding it.

Didimum · 02/12/2024 09:49

tuvamoodyson · 02/12/2024 09:35

They shouldn’t. But if I was having ‘mega mum guilt’ over a £1 plastic tat toy to
such an extent I had to make a mn post about it, I’d just buy the damn thing.

Mums have guilt over many, many, MANY things – some might say everything. Feeling guilty over something is not a reason to give yourself even more to do when OP is probably already doing fantastically. What bad advice.

tuvamoodyson · 02/12/2024 09:35

Didimum · 01/12/2024 11:20

Conveniently ignoring 99% of the rest of my post.

Regardless, why should anyone be encouraged to buy £1 plastic tat made in China?

They shouldn’t. But if I was having ‘mega mum guilt’ over a £1 plastic tat toy to
such an extent I had to make a mn post about it, I’d just buy the damn thing.

DelilahRay · 01/12/2024 16:05

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the request of the user.

Fivews · 01/12/2024 12:45

No elves in this house....we told our girls that the elves go to houses where it's not decided yet if they're on the nice or naughty list

Calliopespa · 01/12/2024 12:39

UnrelatedTo · 01/12/2024 09:51

That’s a good idea — fight the creepy elf thing by posting on SM throughout December photos of elfless shelves full of tins of beans or books.

Maybe that’s what Tony Blair was up to recently…

fanaticalfairy · 01/12/2024 12:32

RedVelvetIcing · 01/12/2024 11:00

I’ve looked on social media this morning and some peoples living rooms look likes it’s Christmas Day with all the stuff they’ve bought. I feel guilty as we only have chocolate advent calendars but this has been how we’ve done it long before those other things became a thing.

Guilty of what?

Are your children being abused? Neglected?

Didimum · 01/12/2024 11:20

tuvamoodyson · 01/12/2024 10:20

Why would it have to be a branded one? I saw them in Poundland…

Conveniently ignoring 99% of the rest of my post.

Regardless, why should anyone be encouraged to buy £1 plastic tat made in China?

pictoosh · 01/12/2024 11:08

floppybit · 01/12/2024 10:54

I've never done this elf on the shelf bollocks. You are an excellent mum for protecting your child from this completely over the top shite. Aldi advent calendar is perfect. Always remember, you don't have to do something just because everyone else does.

In a nutshell.

RedVelvetIcing · 01/12/2024 11:00

I’ve looked on social media this morning and some peoples living rooms look likes it’s Christmas Day with all the stuff they’ve bought. I feel guilty as we only have chocolate advent calendars but this has been how we’ve done it long before those other things became a thing.

floppybit · 01/12/2024 10:56

@GridlockonMain 'Surveillance elf', so true!

floppybit · 01/12/2024 10:54

I've never done this elf on the shelf bollocks. You are an excellent mum for protecting your child from this completely over the top shite. Aldi advent calendar is perfect. Always remember, you don't have to do something just because everyone else does.

LadyKenya · 01/12/2024 10:32

TallNeckedGiraffe · 30/11/2024 23:25

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

Your life would be a lot better if you were not so influenced by Facebook and instagram.

This. Why do so many people get taken in by these hollow illusions, jeez. Stop giving yourself more work to do people.

JetskiSkyJumper · 01/12/2024 10:22

From a parent who did it, you'll be glad in a few years time when everyone is all out of idea and deeply regretting it lol

tuvamoodyson · 01/12/2024 10:20

Didimum · 01/12/2024 08:46

The branded elf is £20, so not cheap, unless you’re out of touch how the average family has to budget in December, and nothing is simple at Christmastime when your other tasks include saving up for a buying gifts for the whole family, organising visitors, preparing house for visitors, decorating house and tree, wrapping presents, nativity plays, school events, work events, organising the food shop, cooking Christmas dinner, cleaning up, sorting what to do with the kids for 2 weeks off school while you juggle work and cooking and laundry and cleaning and homework the same time.

And the when the kids are finally asleep and you get done with your evening chores and you get to crash on the sofa or turn in for an early night … nope, every single night you have to remember to also sort out the elf.

It’s so simple.

Why would it have to be a branded one? I saw them in Poundland…

Labraradabrador · 01/12/2024 10:17

namefornow88 · 01/12/2024 07:36

Don't feel guilty about it all but also please don't tell your 6yo that the parents do it as he's likely to tell his friends. Just because you don't want to get involved in something or don't agree with the consumerism or whatever doesn't give you the right to ruin another child's Christmas magic. Some posters on this thread could do with some Christmas spirit if they think it's ok to take away a child's belief in something magical

This world is so depressing and children grow up so fast nowadays I don't think we should be so critical of parents who want to make the most of those few magical years

It isn’t my job to facilitate your family’s tradition, and I am not going to lie to my own child in order to insulate yours. It is a marketing ploy invented 20 years ago and the kits are sold in shops!

pictoosh · 01/12/2024 10:12

To add...I only do FB as social media because I can't hack too much of it. There may be loads of elf posts on other platforms.
Also, my peers don't tend to have young children any more.

So maybe I'm talking pish.

pictoosh · 01/12/2024 10:06

I think parents are perhaps wising up to what a pain the arse having to do the elf is.
It's 10 o'clock and I haven't seen a single elf post on Facebook yet. This is in contrast to previous years when the staged scenarios were rife.

"Are we doing the elf this year?"
"Ugh no."

Someone I know was selling the box and balloons "I'm back!" package on there yesterday, trying to get rid of them last minutey.

Maybe the elf has had its day?

UnrelatedTo · 01/12/2024 09:51

Diomi · 01/12/2024 09:47

That is because the only people who are posting about elf on the shelf are the ones doing it. Most people don’t do it, but they don’t post pictures of shelves without elves. I only know one person who does it in real life and they regret starting it.

That’s a good idea — fight the creepy elf thing by posting on SM throughout December photos of elfless shelves full of tins of beans or books.

Diomi · 01/12/2024 09:47

That is because the only people who are posting about elf on the shelf are the ones doing it. Most people don’t do it, but they don’t post pictures of shelves without elves. I only know one person who does it in real life and they regret starting it.

SuperfluousHen · 01/12/2024 09:20

Give your head a wobble.
You really think you’re depriving your child by not participating in a “creepy slightly malevolent alien entity is watching your every move” dystopian fantasy?
Wise up.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2024 09:18

turkeyboots · 01/12/2024 09:16

Thankfully DD was frightened of the Elf they had in school so I escaped it!
Just tell them don't like the Elf? He's a tattle tale.

Edited

This!
Say you set an elf trap and it caught him! 🤣

LufthName · 01/12/2024 09:17

The elf doesn't come in our house because they already know DD is good. Even when she misbehaves, she's still a good person.

BlueSilverCats · 01/12/2024 09:17

Crouchingdragonhiddentiger · 30/11/2024 22:58

…over not doing elf on the shelf?!

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

I’ve bought my 6 year old DS an advent calendar from Aldi and that’s it! I feel so tight now.

We are going round to a friends house tomorrow, who does it for her son, I have no idea what to say if mine starts asking why we don’t - because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way.

If it helps, life is very chaotic atm and I just realised last night what day it actually is and that we had no advent calendar for DD. Grin

OH did a mad rush to the shop very early this morning.