Xmas eve boxes for children who aren't here on Xmas eve?!

But they are with you on Christmas Eve, even if it’s daytime Christmas eve. I would do one for them, and give it to them on Christmas eve morning.

Its a bit shit to do it one year and not the next - not their fault they are at their mums. And they are with you on Christmas eve for a time

Just think if you and your husband split up - how would you feel if your daughters stepmum did boxes for their kids, but not yours?

@ARichtGoodDram it's lovely that new jammies have been a tradition in your family for so long, I love it was because nana didn't want mismatched pjs. That's made me smile 😁

Could you give all the children their new pj's December 1st instead, or whenever you see them after that? Then they get a few weeks wear out of them.

You could get snacks or popcorn & sweets the evening you give them the pj's in early Dec and watch a Christmas film together. Maybe do the tree that weekend.

You can give your child the books and sweets Christmas Eve still. Maybe even get more pj's if that matters to you, both don't need to be super Chrismassy so they can wear them through the year (tartan is good because it's festive but can wear it whenever).

I voted YANBU to not do them one. But I'd probably want to do them one. But I love shit like that. I would get DH to communicate with the ExW to see if she was doing them one. They don't need two lots of PJs etc.

(I don't communicate with DHs ex, we've been together 12+ years, married for 10, they split up 20 years ago, their children are adults, she still calls me "that tramp" 😁)

It's not a new thing, it's just got bigger and more popular so some people have to sneer at it (usually based on the fact they didn't do it as kids therefore they think nobody ever did)

I always got new pyjamas on Christmas Eve (because Christmas morning photos my Nana didn't want mismatched jammies or ones that were too short etc) and a book. My Nana got the idea from her parents who did the same, for the same reasons. So not remotely recent!

Some folks just jazz it up a bit now with the box ideas

Their mum will be doing Christmas eve it would be rude to crash their day

Maybe she thinks his penis will get in the way.

They are not present at the house on Christmas Eve.
No box.

Nope
YANBU

Why can't he do them?

Wtf is a Christmas eve box and why

If they aren't there it's a bit pointless because they are meant to be Christmas Eve boxes. If he wants to do something like that he can do it on another day and make that evening special for them. But the point is he can do it. He knows (or should know) what they like. He should be the one choosing things so they feel special and loved.

I'm feeling quite miserable today for various reasons and when that happens grief for my parents hits me hard. And this post has upset me. My Dad died 5 years ago. Once I left home my Dad occasionally made up boxes of treats and posted them (even when I lived abroad and it cost a lot to send). He absolutely loved doing it and that was his special thing he did for me. My Mam did different things but they both did things from time to time that were special. It wasn't just my Mam doing stuff (or in your case the stepmum).
What sort of Dad is he that he can't make up a Christmas Eve box for his children himself?

Missing the point of the thread, sorry OP.

I see this on here alot about christmas eve boxes being a new trend but im wondering is it a new trend or maybe a regional thing? I'm in Merseyside.
I've been making Christmas eve boxes or gift bags for kids since 2001 I think?
Nothing elaborate at all but I've enjoyed making them. I wonder though when the trend started? My childhood neighbours used to get me Xmas pjs and pass in a colouring book to me on Christmas eve and some other kiddos on our estate with homemade mince pies, so I carried it on with my neighbours kids when I started working because it was the highlight of Christmas as a kid for me.
My lovely neighbours do things for my DC also but I think I've just struck neighbour gold because none of my pals neighbours do this.
But I remember new pjs and an activity being a Xmas eve thing.

Last year I didn't do my eldest an Xmas eve box (got him nice chocs and bathbomb) and you'd think I'd told him he was eating his Christmas dinner alone in the garden. Lesson learnt, he'll have a Xmas eve box until I croak now.

I wouldn't do Christmas Eve boxes full stop. But if I were in your situation I would definitely point the husband to where the nearest shop was.

Does the 15 year old really want a special box from step mum with a book and a toy and a hot chocolate?

I don’t do Christmas Eve boxes, but if I did it would be a case of taking the things like a DVD we were using on Christmas Eve anyway and putting them in a box. Giving boxes on 23rd for teens that aren’t even there is just an extra Christmas present - his kids, his job. It’s not as simple as just you buying more of what you got your DC, you’d have had to buy totally different stuff for teens.

Given that they're going to be with their mother, is that not stepping on her toes a bit?

If they have done them in the past, presumably she'll have something organised. If not, it does look like a bit of an imposition.

(And yes, they are a bit old tbh.)

YANBU. They aren’t there, if they were then they would have one like last year. If you give them on the 23rd then they aren’t Christmas Eve boxes and your DD would also have to have hers then or would wonder why she wasn’t getting one. Their mum probably has something planned anyway.

I wouldn't have done them either. Assume they will be with their own mother? Let her do them one. Or him if he is so bothered

I thought that the point of Christmas Eve boxes is to occupy small children with something on Christmas Eve to get yourself free time. I might be wrong, I never did them for DD.
Of course all children are different but at 12 and 15 an average child I know would prefer extra £10 for buying their own hot chocolate and sweets.

YABU to do a Christmas Eve box for anyone, it's such a pointless new trend!

But if you're doing one for one child I would do some for the others. I agree that your DH can do the older children's boxes as they're his DC, but I think if you did their's last year he wasn't unreasonable to think you might do this year.

It just sounds like a breakdown in communication tbh. You assumed they wouldn't need one as not there Christmas Eve night and he assumed you'd do the same as you did last year. If either one of you had checked in with the other this could have been avoided. I'd take 50% of the blame and move on (and put the stuff under the tree and not go along with Christmas Eve box nonsense!).

They are his kids
They aren't there on Christmas Eve
They are older and at least the 15 yr old is out of the 'pyjamas, sweets and a book' age

So many reasons not to do it.

Has he done all his Christmas shopping or is it going to be 30 minutes before closing on Christmas Eve?

I mean I wouldn’t do for one and not the others. if I had said I would sort the Christmas even boxes then I would do them for all the kids.
However, his assumption it’s your job is what I find frustrating.