Xmas eve boxes for children who aren't here on Xmas eve?!

They are there.

OP said in her first post the step-DC are there for a few hours on Xmas Eve morning.

Why can't they get a Xmas Eve box on Xmas Eve?

Get that sorted. One day DH will pop out for something and one of the DSC will find a way to need to go to A&E. You do need to have an emergency number, hopefully you never need to use it.

It's not complex if they are not there. I never did Xmas eve boxes but had stockings. But only for the kids who were there at Xmas morning. If my DS was with his dad then his dad made up the stocking.

Can't see any difference tbh

Oh the old "you don't care for MY children" bullshit that these losers come out with to control, guilt and manipulate women.

The same men who couldn't wait to suck in some poor mug to do the skivvy work of parenting that they are too lazy to do.

These wasters are all the same.
They all use the same script....get any other woman to do my parenting.

Protect yourself OP, you have a right lazy tosser there.

It isn't new, OP gave them Xmas boxes last year, the first year she did them.

This year she has decided to only do it for her DC despite the other children being there for a few hours on Xmas eve.

What is a Christmas Eve box anyway?

Of course the husband hasn't thought it through - he doesn't think it's his job, it's just something the "womenfolk" should be taking care of 🙄.

I don’t think you husband has thought it through. Imagine how pissed off his ex wife will be if they already turn up with Christmas Eve pyjamas etc and she has planned something. Start a different tradition for the years they aren’t with you. A Christmas Eve breakfast with maybe a present in a cracker. And let your husband organise it.

Yes, but at some point you realise it's just easier to organise stuff without relying on them. I think that's probably why the rate of failure of second marriages is so high. Some people just aren't very good at pulling their weight in relationships and they don't change.

Im sure he’s more than capable of making a box if you don’t want to do them one. I put my Christmas Eve boxes under the three on the night of the 23rd ready for them to see on the 24th when they wake up so I would make the DSC a box because you said they are with you on the 24th until 11am. Deoends when you plan to give the other child their box. I’d hate for them to feel left out while the other is opening theirs.

I think the key point are that they won't be there for the opening, so your DH would be giving them the Xmas to open at their mums, who might not totally appreicate it, and they're teenagers, they don't need or expect them, too old to start a new tradition.

I'd never expect my daughter to get a Christmas eve box at her Dad's house on Christmas eve, how daft.

I was watching a YouTube video yesterday and the person I was watching does her Christmas boxes early in December so they get to enjoy the Christmas mugs and pyjamas for the whole month, I thought it was a nice idea. Perhaps you (or get DH to pick up a few items) could do that to include all the children.

They are there on Xmas Eve.

You do a Xmas box for all the kids in the family or none.

I don't understand the 'his kids' attitude from some of the posters here.

Totally agree.

If you enjoy it, do it.

FYI. They aren’t new. My mum did them for us in the 80s. Her mum did them for her and her sisters in the 60s.

I do them now for my 13 and 20 year old. In the same box they have always had. They love their Christmas Eve presents. Including PJs. I know plenty of people on MN would be horrified 😂

What people mean is that they have only just seen them popping up on social media in the last few years. But even on social media they have been around near on a decade.

Enjoy doing it for your child. Thats enough.

And the weak link in the middle continues not having to pull his weight, as the womenfolk club together and sort it out. Winner!

My oldest daughter isn't here on Christmas eve this year so she's not getting a Christmas eve box, neither is my step daughter who isn't here. The three younger kids are getting one. We actually just do one shared hamper with pyjamas, sweets and a book to share so the only thing they're missing out on is pyjamas really.

Thanks for reply LLyn Tegid - sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread, have asked for it to be removed.

But yes agree, I want them to have perspective and not feel entitled to endless money.

My thoughts on this thread - OP his penis is indeed stopping him from doing a Christmas Eve box and bloody well done for realising that he's taking the P.

My husband thought it was my job to sort Christmas/birthday gifts for his side of the family and I had been quite happy to do so until I realised it was expected. I told all his family I would no longer be doing so as had enough to do sorting my own family, needless to say he was livid ha!

I wouldn't cook dinner for my step child while they are in their mother's house. Would you?

What all of these issues usually come down to is the man in the middle not pulling his weight. Both women in the situation are generally pissed off with him and his lack of effort, which unfortunately translates to being pissed off with each other/not communicating - the latter in an attempt to make the inadequate shared parent take some responsibility.

OP, in all honesty the easiest thing to do (apart from nothing) would be to message the kids' mum and ask if she's doing boxes, if you're on ok terms with her. Not your job at all, I know, but the easiest and fairest for the kids, and probably quicker than relying on the weak link in the middle.

I think giving them new pj's, hot chocolate sachet, sweets and an age appropriate book on the 23rd is the right thing to do unless his ex is doing Christmas Eve boxes herself, perhaps he should find out...

You could give it to them before they leave on Christmas Eve? Would be a nice thing with not too much effort from you and him (I’m not saying it’s your job)

It’s the 1st December. There is quite some time for DH to get it sorted.