Xmas eve boxes for children who aren't here on Xmas eve?!

There’s the danger of trapping it in the lid as he closes the box.

None of this explains why he can't do it for his kids if he wants them to have one. If you think his question is 'totally valid' then so is OPs answer, if he feels differently, he can make them up some boxes.

Thanks for taking the time to explain why you have them 🙂

The purpose they serve for us, is knowing the kids will have nice, new, clean matching PJs on for the Christmas morning photos, the hot chocolate and snacks for the Christmas Eve movie won’t have been eaten advance. We had a Christmas Eve story to read and when they were small we had the reindeer food in there.

If they were there on Christmas Eve night, OP would do them each a box. As they will be with their mum, OP isn't doing them one. It's the step-kids' mums turn for whatever Christmas Eve traditions she does in her house.

No it’s not.

If the step-kids were going to be with OP on Christmas Eve night, she would do them a box. She did one last year when they were there and will do one next year when they will be at OP's house.

It's their mum's turn to have them on Christmas Eve and OP would be over-stepping if she gave them boxes to take to their own house, as their mum probably has her own plans. If her DH is so concerned about the lack of Christmas Eve boxes for his older kids, to take to their mums, he can make them.

I would have done one they can take with them to their mums. Only because I’ve been the step kid who missed out on Christmas Eve with my dad AND the fun stuff they did ok Christmas Eve and whilst I logically understood it, It did upset me.

and the name wasn’t self explanatory enough?

and you needed to understand why kids NEED them? As though Christmas is about only need.

and simply couldn’t understand that people do things because they like it. Whether you know about it or not.

Op likes doing it. It’s that simple. Some people have different traditions to you. It’s that simple.

No- not faux- I have never heard of them.

The point is I had never heard of them until today- ever. I have 6 kids- all older now- but have never heard the term Christmas Eve box anywhere. My question was literally with no spin. Literally what is a Christmas Eve box.

Plenty of families have done presents on Christmas Eve. Some cultures do all presents on Christmas Eve. But some do one or two.

It’s very normal. My family have done it since at least the 60s when her mum gave her and her sisters a gift in Christmas Eve. She did it for us in the 80s. I have always done it for mine. Who are now older.

No one needs it. No child needs Christmas presents at all. But some people have cultures that are different from yours. And sometime these things are picked become more popular and mainstream.

and 99% of the time it’s something they would get anyway, just given on Christmas Eve. Or activities to do.

you aren’t interested in it, so you don’t need to understand it. The faux ‘I don’t understand’ is very strange.

"If I suggest he just sort them then if he's bothered I get the whole it's not the point, it just shows him I don't care or don't think about them. "

Ask him if that means he doesn't care about them either as he'd rather argue than sort the 'problem'. Guess he doesn't care about your shared child either as he's not doing the box for them. What about stockings? Christmas dinner? Shopping? If he's going to turn this into how little you care for not doing what is his responsibility for his kids then throw it back at him that clearly he doesn't care for you or shared child by leaving it all to you. You are his wife not his housekeeper.

Still doesn’t answer the question. What is the point of them? What purpose do they serve? The kids are presum getting a stockin and then presents . They now need a present before all of that as well?

@Naunet
He's not ordering OP to though is he?
She made one for DD, he asked why she excluded the other kids which is totally valid.
IMO OP isn't thinking of his kids as her kids which is harsh as she knew he had kids from a previous relationship, yet she still decided to 'blend the families'. You can't now exclude other kids and go about your business like they're not yours.

Based on your op I voted yabu because they'll be with you in the morning, and I thought most people gave the Xmas eve boxes in the morning (things in it to occupy them during the day etc). But if you give your daughter hers in the evening then yanbu. If they were there when you gave your daughter's of course you would need to give them one. But simply they aren't so you don't. I agree with pp who say if it's an issue for him it's an issue he needs to resolve.

Why?

Its a Xmas eve box - gifts for Xmas eve.

It's some PJs and hot chocolate/popcorn/sweets. I doubt OP put a book in last year for the step-DCs as they're past that.

Why shouldn't their Step-Mother include them in that? There's no particular schedule that needs to be adhered to - you doing it on Xmas Eve in the evening doesn't mean that's the standard. Many people give them in the morning.

OP only started doing it last year and this year has decided not to include the step-DC.

If you're all happy with leaving out step-DC because of some bizarre invented timing 'rule' that literally doesn't exist, go ahead. But don't attempt to dress it up as anything other than OP not caring enough about her step-DC to include them.

Because that's what it is. She got into a relationship with a man with DC and doesn't want to give them the same consideration and care at Xmas as her own child.

Arguing about timings is just deflecting from the OPs issue of not caring enough about her step-DC at Xmas to include them in the family.

It is almost like the clue isnt right there in the name.

🤔

Of course they can! Their parent can do it.

No he's not doing one for any of them, just ordering OP to, which is the whole point. His dick wont fall off if he has do them himself and put some effort in for his own bloody children.

A lot of people have said this as a dig at OP, but they will also be accusing her of 'overstepping' by giving a box on the morning before they get one from their own mum, so she can't win either way.

Well personally our Xmas eve box comes out at about 5pm so they can get their pyjamas on, have some popcorn or sweets while they watch a Christmas film and then read the book before bedtime. So if it's the same in OPs house then it wouldn't make sense to have it on the morning