Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

I'm not a fan of them, either - Plus the poor young women the hair is taken from {Often Vietnamese or Indian because of the ''virgin'' quality of their hair} - never been coloured or permed, just glossy, long and healthy.

The women and girls get a couple of dollars maximum for their hair.

It's very exploitative.

Yeah..sadly I also think that people stay quiet because 50 inces extensions is drastic and could look fake or just too much. I couldn’t pretend that something looks great, so I’d rather not say anything.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think because it’s definitely up to everyone what they like and feel nice in.

It's such a big change it's unlikely that people haven't noticed.

Maybe they don't know what to say?

"Wow, you've changed your hair"?

If you like it Op, what difference does it make if others don't comment?

Maybe they don't like it?

Hair extensions are pretty divisive. I think they're awful and probably wouldn't comment but other people love them and think they look great.

You need to have things done because you love them and feel good, not for compliments or what other people think.

Have you seen people in person?

Who were you expecting to comment?

Partner, yep should say something.

Work colleagues, have learnt to never comment on people's physical appearance at work.

Friends, maybe

It's just a honest response

20 inches...

Silvery blonde to brown - usually people go the other way?

Was silvery blonde your natural colour?

Once people get past 50 they definitely fall off the radar of being noticed generally - which can be a great relief!

Who exactly are you talking about? DH? Neighbour?

God this isn’t the poster with partial blindness who thinks she looks like Barbie is it?

As an opinion how you perceive it could be different from the way the person who wrote it sees it and the op sees it.
If you think it breaks guidlines report it (pretty sure it doesn't tho)

With that drastic a change, I'd wonder if it was a wig because you were ill and losing your hair. I wouldn't have said anything.

Maybe it looks a bit much if it's really long extensions. But who cares what anyone thinks - you do it for yourself not them.

You could just ask them?

I once complimented my neighbour on her hair. Turned out it was a wig as she was having chemo. I didn't know she was having chemo obviously. But I think she was quite pleased that the wig looked good!

That’s not to do with ugly though. It’s when the change isn’t one they like.

ETA the time it happened to me and I couldn’t manage to comment was when they had destroyed a feature of their appearance that had actually been stand-out gorgeous tbh.

ETA typo could not couldn’t!

But also to say we don’t know op. We have no idea what she looks like. It was simply a suggestion as to why someone might ignore a change without actually thinking the person was “ ugly.”

The person I am referring to ( and I hadn’t detailed as would hate her to recognise herself from my post, but on reflection she is not likely on Mn) had gorgeous, glossy, unbelievably thick, swishy black hair nearly to her waist. She was anything but ugly. When I saw her again, she’d chopped it short. I THINK she intended elfin/ Hepburn vibes but in fact it was heavily layered which thinned out all the volume and destroyed the glossy shine and swish. It was all jagged round her face like a goat had gnawed on it. It took everything not to gasp so I just focused on how it was lovely to see her ( which it was!) . But nothing to do with ugly.

This was what I was thinking too. That is a drastic change and people may think that it's false hair (which some of it is), or a wig? That says 'possible illness' to me and I wouldn't comment at all.

You said that these were friends, OP? I don't know how often you see them or how close you are but that does have a bearing I think?

I envy men when it comes to their hair though. They think it needs cutting, they get it cut. They give no fucks that people don't notice or comment. Women though, endless needy validation required... and it's exhausting. If you like your hair and are pleased with the result then honest, what else do you need?

Yep that’s me too! Sorry op!

I think it depends how dramatic the change is. If very dramatic it’s probably that.

If less so, it’s potentially just the “we aren’t as much on display as we feel” thing.

ETA But it’s not about you being ugly.

People will comment on your appearance even if you're ugly! So it's not about that. It's a massive change - who did you hope would comment?

Show us a photo of your hair, because at the moment you are invisible to us!

I recently had a few inches cut off, and when I had a FaceTime call with DD, who is at university, she said "Mum, what have you done to your hair? It looks fucking awful!" She wasn't wrong it does look awful, and I'm willing it to grow, but sometimes it's best when people
keep quiet.

It feeds into the feeling ugly, validates it. Good grief.

If somebody with long hair suddenly had what could be a wig, I wouldn't ask questions in case it was due to chemotherapy, figuring they'd tell me if they wanted to share their medical information.

"This is a shocking reply. How can anyone read someone thinks they are ugly and then respond saying they maybe notified and thought it looked terrible."

Because this is a discussion forum, and people are trying to give useful responses.

Feeling ugly and getting a new hairstyle that some people don't think suits you are two different things.

You’re all bizarre. ‘Why should people notice’ erm assuming you’re not blind you’d notice if a sister/friend/colleague had obviously spent a lot of money on extensions and a complete colour change!! Don’t make yourself look foolish by claiming you’re that unobservant.

I bet it looks great OP and hope you love it. Keep doing things for you that make you happy and give you a boost. It’s horrible to be unappreciated, I know. Are there any outlets where you can meet new people? An exercise class or some sort of club?

We need to see a pic of your hair now OP.

If someone looks worse I tend to be shocked and not be able to say anything that sounds credibly positive so I just say nothing.

Bizarrely I find that comforting.

I was just going to follow my post and say it’s a good lesson that we are not as conspicuous as we feel. Next time you are feeling awful going out because it’s been three days since a hair wash, not your normal two, or you have a spot on your chin, it’s comforting to know these things don’t matter so much to others!

If you’re consistently the only person in your friendship group who never receives any compliments and gets ignored, you need to find different friends. I doubt this is about them not noticing your hair, they just don’t care about you or your feelings and aren’t good friends. Start distancing yourself from these people and looking for avenues to new friendships.