Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

It's all too vague, who didn't notice, the milkman, shopkeeper, next door neihjbour, or was it the friends, the mother, husband?

Or just that you're reading way too much into my comment? Is it really beyond you that certain people don't think of other individuals based on their appearances? Nothing philosophical about it really. Just that personality, but also job function and relationship to others stick in my mind much more.

But yes if someone completely changed their appearance I might not recognise them unless it was in the context of seeing them do something they always do.

I often don’t comment even when I notice. I’m not even sure why I don’t, I just don’t. I wouldn’t read too much into it. I asked a friend if they had dyed their hair recently and another friend said that they hadn’t noticed, sometimes people just don’t. I’m sure you look great!

@FrabjousDays 🙌

If people don't notice that then I wonder how they manage to navigate daily life.

Perhaps because weight loss, change of glasses, different colour hair is really not that important to many people? Or they just don't make personal comments?

Yet still they manage to 'navigate daily life' just fine.

Well, surely that’s because you have face-blindness, rather than because you’re someone who connects with someone’s inner self, and either way, it’s not relevant to the OP unless all her friends are face-blind?

Maybe you have face blindness? but most of society does notice what people look like......it's just life

what good is lying to OP going to do? Everyone saying "Oh perhaps they didn't notice..." Drastically changing hair colour and length is nothing like a new style of glasses or losing weight over a long period of time. If people don't notice that then I wonder how they manage to navigate daily life.

Which only leaves the options given. If they are lesser known acquaintances it's very likely they didn't recognise OP BECAUSE the change is so drastic. If they are people she knows fairly well it could be that they feel awkward mentioning it just in case it's something unusual - e.g. cancer treatment meaning loss of hair. But if they are close friends and family by far the most likely explanation is that they have noticed but don't think it's an improvement, so think the nicest thing to do is not to say anything at all. Which is the route I would (and have) taken tbh.

Do you really think it's nicer to lie to a good friend and give the whole "WOW your hair looks AMAZING!" Usually on here the advice is to be honest with good friends whenever possible.

As the pp said having a haircut that doesn't suit you doesn't mean you're ugly. If anything it could be a relief if you have friends who care enough to spare your feelings rather than saying 'God what have you done to yourself!'

OP, please - if you're feeling fragile about it - don't post photos of yourself here. Posters will either lie-faux-praise your hair, or they will genuinely like it, or they will look and not post because they don't like it.

fairycakes1234, normal people both do and don't make personal comments about other people's appearance.

But why so much fucking effort???
Is DH blind? 🙁

Err no? I literally don't notice hair colour or appearance changes at all.
I also never recognise actors in films etc and only remember who people are once I have spoken with them in a meaningful way.

Are you happy with it, OP?

I wouldn't worry about it. Many people just don't comment. Not sure why, it's just who they are, I suppose.

Show us here, if you'd like to, not your face, obvs🙂

Because normal people would usually notice and comment??

Could be the time of the year too. It's a funny time this, people's brain, especially women's are realising Christmas is approaching and plans/purchases need to be made. Others get SAD and feel down and don't notice detail as much

Yes :) . I cut my hair myself a few weeks ago because it's was getting too long and felt like i had no time to go to hairdresser. Just lobbed it off so it was just below shoulder length after watching a video on YouTube. No one said a thing and seems like they didn't notice. Middle age also

We’d have to see a picture of the back. I cant imagine how you make a short bob look like a convincing natural 20 inches of hair.

It is weird when no-one says anything!

Also this. It's just often safer to keep your mouth shut.

I think it can be a good thing.
My hair is curly, but not as curly as I would like, if it goes through a flat stage, I get it permed, maybe every 18 months or so,
The first week or so, it's like a cross between a 70s footballer & a poodle, & I feel very self conscious about it.

I had this done again a couple of months ago - Fortunately either no one noticed, or every6ne was too polite to say.

So many people get offended nowdays over simple things i think some of us just dont say anything anymore.

Of course you notice what a silly comment ! Sounds like sounds like an "inspirational quote/ affirmation " from Instagram 😳

That's a very drastic change. Perhaps people don't know what to say so play it safe and don't say anything.

I never notice people's cosmetic changes, I see the person not their looks.

And agree on hair extensions, and the ethics.

Maybe people are going with the don't say anything, if you can't say anything nice mantra

A bunch of anonymous people on the internet cannot be expected to take responsibility for someone’s longterm lack of self-esteem. If she has made a drastic change in her appearance and literally no one has commented when she’s seen them in person, one of the available interpretations is that they don’t think the new hair colour and extra length suits her and have decided that it’s more tactful to say nothing than try to pay a visibly insincere compliment. That may not be the case, but it’s one possibility.

What strikes me in the OP is that she says she always feels invisible and ugly and never gets complimented — it makes me wonder if she often drastically changes her appearance as a result of her poor self-esteem.

I had similar but cut off my hair - and nobody at work noticed till about a month later