For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

Friends with small children are welcome at my house, but it's their job to watch their own kid at all times, and to make sure there's no injury/swallowing of inappropriate items/damage happening. I have zero maternal instinct and I'm not the kind of person who jumps up with protective attention when they see a small child roaming. I just sit back and chill, and the parents can either chase the kid around... or not (and pay damages afterwards if anything gets broken). Some of them are happy to visit under these terms, others understood quickly it's better if I come to theirs.

It's not precious to want to keep your home nice, not in the slightest.

What a sad view for humankind, to be so intolerant of others. Of course she can follow this mantra, but not trying to accommodate others - whether their life choices or viewpoints - leads to a very insular existence. .

The previous posts suggest the OP should buy a play pen not that the kids parents bring it with them

I'm amazed how mnay people think you're unreasonable. I have 4 children. Some of my friends have children and I happily go to theirs and they bring theirs to mine. My friends without children mostly come to us or we meet up somewhere. I have taken children to their houses in occasion, but we don't get much chance to talk as the children have to be watched, which defeats the point id meeting up!

Exactly. I can't remember doing anything to our house. We just watched our baby and made adjustments ourselves. We were always out and about, friends' houses, restaurants, cafes etc. She never damaged anything.

I actually think it's so mean of you both to give the message; we value your friendship only enough to go to your house but can't make any effort which would allow you two to actually go somewhere else.

I've never encountered people who don't want children in their home in case they damage it, so to me it seems very precious indeed. But it's their choice certainly.

Which I would then have to store somewhere

This is the second “let’s call her Ava” post in a few days. Are you the one who can’t let go of a falling out between your mum friends?
Just wondering as Ava is not exactly a common name among women in their 30s

It's not necessarily a matter of being "a death trap." I don't want my nice sofa and silk cushions and expensive rugs smeared with shit, or baby food, etc.

Babies are too disruptive for some types of homes. The parents are the ones who made the choice to have the baby and they are the ones who therefore need to make the sacrifices, including being bored of socializing in their own lounge for the toddler years. It's not forever. If they want to get out, they can offer to meet at the pub.

I think it's precious to assume that other people should adapt their homes or accept your child damaging their belongings by virtue of being born... 😬

Or maybe the parents bring a playpen

I'd have thought baby would bring toys with them. A pre owned playpen cost peanuts.

😂😂😂😂

Surely it's less hassle to host at theirs than to pack up the child and everything she needs and go somewhere else? And why do they have to spend ages tidying, doesn't anyone say 'take us as you find us'? As long as it's clean I wouldn't care how tidy then place was!

As others have said, I think you need to make a decision about whether you're willing to put the effort into continuing this friendship. Your tone sounds very resentful towards them. I don't have any friends who I would begrudge childproofing one room for. It really is a minuscule amount of effort - unless your house is overly cluttered/dirty? You mention that the child might find things in your sofa. Surely you clean under the cushions every now and then?

Anyway, I'd ask yourself why you have friends who you don't seem to like.

I have no idea how the human race has survived as long as it has what with every home other than those baby proofed to within an inch of its life being an apparent death trap 🙄. It all sounds so over the top.

I totally get not wanting children in my house destroying it, but don't try to make out as if you are doing them a favour. You don't have the childproof your home for a visit, that's an excuse. If you don't want to lose them as friends you probably need to have an honest conversation and say you will bring the food and drink to their house every second time so they aren't always paying to entertain you.

Why? I have things in my home because I like them or because they are sentimental. I'm childfree by choice and certainly don't want some child breaking or damaging my belongings. Thankfully my friends were happy for us to go to them when their kids were small. We had one visit to us but it didn't work out well so the arrangement was we went to them and either took part of the meal (they were happy to cook) or brought a takeaway.

Let's say this divine child has the famous Mumsnet nappy explosion or leaky nappy on your sofa?

Don't be rude. These babies only shit unicorn confetti remember

😂 I’d ditch you if you were my friend.

We still have movie nights and games nights with my little one. Friends don’t move their homes around, you just watch the baby. It’s not difficult between 4 of you.

You don’t value the friendship, and they’re better off without you.

The only reasonable thing in your post is you acknowledging you sound like an asshole. I hope this couple have a wide circle and aren't reliant on you two for friendship.

They have a baby now so hosting has become a huge effort for them.

How can you help with that if you still want them to host? Could you cook dinner and bring it round to theirs? Offer to get takeaway for everyone and pay?

They will still have to spend ages tidying beforehand but at least won't have to also cater for you.