For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

Nope, unfortunately not. Things can happen in a split second, even with attentive adults.

It's not precious to not want your things broken or damaged.

What’s all this baby proofing stuff about?

surely it’s:
supervised = everything safe
unsupervised = everything unsafe

i suppose it depends on baby, some are very destructive and parents can’t manage them, though i would say most are not

just a but of vacuuming needed but i would hope you would do that anyway if guests were coming

I don't blame you! Were you expected to supply the socket covers, corner bumpers etc.?

We had DC before a specific friend of ours did. She was similar to OP, precious about their expensive breakable ornaments so didn't want us over. It put me off the friendship tbh. She now has twin toddlers, her tune has changed. Get over yourself OP.

You are right.
An insular existence, that's what I'm striving for!
Everyone is different.

I have had children who are both teenagers now and feel the same as OP, I don’t like my nephew coming round. He is nearly two but does not understand stop or no and trashes everything. Breaks my plants for example. It causes me so much stress, I choose to spend time with him outside of my home. I’ve done the baby/toddler years so I get it. I don’t want to baby proof my home, I have put child proof locks on cleaning cupboards though but that is as far as I will go. She has asked me to put stairs gates on my doors and stairs to contain him but why should I? Tbf when she has been round she uses it as an excuse to not parent so it ends up with me doing the running round and saving him from hurting him self (so adds to my stress and contributes to me not wanting to host).
My sister and her three children (other 2 are 10 and 8) are coming for Christmas though but I’m secretly dreading it as my nephew is really hard work, but I will have suck it up for one day. I’m by no means an unmaternal person, but I work full time, I’ve done the baby years (fine also if you haven’t) and I can not be bothered put my house back together if they visit. I think it is fine OP if you don’t want to host a toddler. In a couple years it will be a non issue.

KeenCat,My youngest DS walked at 9 months,he didn't do the walking round holding on to the furniture first, previous 2 where,14, and 12 months, I wasn't prepared! One day I was walking in the living room from the kitchen nextdoor,he had pushed a heavy chair across carpet,was climbing up to get out of a window, single glazed wooden,easy to open, which he had, and would have gone headfirst onto a concrete patio.

Why not make dinner and take it over to their house. Something easy to reheat, or buy them takeaway. Tell them you appreciate how difficult it is. It's their baby, their choice to entertain you. But make them dinner even take the dirty dishes away. No clearing up for them. Shows you appreciate them.

How many 11 months olds have you met?

My son was crawling at just under 6 months so was pretty speedy by 11 and would have been too curious to have slept at a strangers, let alone allowed us to contain him in a baby capsule (?) or pram. He also wanted to touch everything and put everything in his mouth at that age.

With the exception of grandparents, I wouldn't expect anyone to adapt their homes because I have decided to have children. To me that's incredibly entitled, and I can't compute the posters who've implied that you deserve to lose this friendship if you don't make adjustments to your house for their child. Surely the simpler and much less dramatic solution is to meet at theirs whilst the child is still young?!

OP’s friends are getting a load of shit on here given all they’ve actually done according to the opening post is have a baby and repeatedly invited friends - who have not invited them back in return for nearly a year! - to their house.

Anyway OP you’re obviously entitled not to have them round but they are equally entitled to stop having you round. Whether this friendship will last is another matter entirely.

Well said, @Jumpingthruhoops

I find it's usually a "heads I win, tails you lose" attitude from new parents.

OP isn't a "shit friend." How ridiculous.

No one is required to reorganize their home or lifestyle because others decided to become parents. Nor are they required to accept the chance that a child could be injured due to an overlooked hazard in a non-childproofed home.

If the other couple wants to get out of the house, they can meet OP at a cafe, pub, park or other venue.

Expecting her to change her space is presumptuous and absurd.

I get it if you go to theirs you can relax and they are responsible for baby. But if they come to you you have a responsibility to make sure baby doesn't get hurt plus you don't want your stuff to get damaged. It's just stressful
I'd just say "we are not really set up for a baby at ours why don't you come on a child free night.?" Or offer to occasionally pay for a takeaway/provide food.

The parents will have to socialise around watching the baby whosever house they're at. I'd even say that expecting a games night with an 11 month old is a bit ambitious (I wish I had babies who would go to sleep at 7 on the dot!!)...

I’m not disagreeing, OP is a shit friend.

it wouldn't take long to clear the room of anything that may be hazardous
🤣🤣🤣
Definitely spoken by someone who's lived in a child-oriented home for so long, she's forgotten there's any other sort! Or, like my friends with their "If your things are important", considers other people's lifestyles trivial in comparison to their own DC.

Your alternative suggestions are good, though, @TheTwinklyLemur. Restaurants have high chairs and infant amusements.

How much do you value this friendship? If you do, it will be necessary to find a way to socialise now that they have a baby. At eleven months she will be crawling, maybe trying to stand and walk, and will be into everything so your concern is justified, however it wouldn't take long to clear the room from anything that may be hazardous. You also say that your friend says that playing board games would be difficult with the baby. So why can't they get a babysitter if they want an adults only evening out? Another suggestion is for you alll to go out somewhere child friendly where you don't have to worry about stuff getting broken or hurting the baby. I don't mean a kids' place, just somewhere that little ones are welcome and safe.

Don't beat yourself up OP. I'm childfree by choice and have always made compromises, allowances, adjustments for my parent friends.
How many did the same for me in return? ZERO! So if those friendships have 'drifted', it's most certainly on their part, not mine.
So, re hosting or not, do what works for you.

All of this. Around the time my friends were having babies, I lived in a (childfree) house with stone floors, a large glass coffee table and dining table, valuable & breakable things at floor level, you get the idea.

My friends said they'd bring a baby rug, no worries. Then they said I'd have to put corner bumpers on the coffee table, remove the dining chairs in case of toddlers climbing on that table, put covers on the wall sockets and, oh, I should move the things off the floor and the bottom shelves "if they're that important". They all thought these were entirely reasonable requests. I said no.

Maybe but its certainly still a lot easier at this stage than when its a screaming, running crashing toddler or even older say up to 8 years old.

If OP cannot handle a crawling baby with both their parents there, then I don't think she'd be inviting a 5 year old around. I don't think she'll be having this couple over until the child is a teenager.

If you don’t want them to come over, don’t invite them, it’s your prerogative.

They'll decide whether they want to keep inviting you over to their house. 🤷

We had friends that we used to do weekly social evenings with before I had DD, for years- every week, good friends, who were bridesmaid/groomsman at our wedding etc etc. Unfortunately once I had her they told my DH that they didn’t want the baby coming round even though she would have just slept, she was such a lovely quiet baby (she can still sleep anywhere). - they also have a child themselves, friends didn’t want to risk DD waking them up or anything and refuse to ever come to us. Now I see them twice a year at best (my DH sees them once a month but always has to go there so I’m left by myself for a night) and honestly it was so bloody isolating in those early months and made me so bloody depressed that I lost my only friends :(

OP, is it really too much effort to move a few things so that your friends can come to you every now and then?

Tbf, my 8month old army crawls and she’s very fast 😂 she also wouldn’t sleep most of the time as she’s more of a night owl and prefers to sleep at times arse about face. BUT, OP is still unreasonable. My DD isn’t allowed to just randomly touch other peoples things, and we went for dinner at friends the other week. Funnily enough it was nice to get out the house then have them at ours!

I’ve also just seen the OP said her friends were obsessed with their baby. Mental.

I’m a parent with a handful of childfree friends.

It sounds like you are very panicked about what could go wrong. But if adults are around a baby, there isn’t much that can go wrong. Yes, babies move around lots at that age - so I can see why you are concerned.

If you are really friends, is this something you can talk about - like “I’ve noticed baby is moving around lots and it’s probably easier for us to come to you - would that be ok?” Or “my house isn’t baby proof -it’s safe to keep baby out of x area, we can hang out I. The lounge”

Make a decision as to if this friendship is important to you. If so, think of baby friendly ways to hang out.