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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

410 replies

Samatha09 · 30/11/2024 11:45

Hello dear people, my good friend (lets call her Ava) had her first baby for 11 months ago. A sweet baby girl. Me and my partner used to invite ava and her partner over for dinner and game nights, movie nights and vica versa (before baby). Now we have mostly gone at their home, my and my partner prefer that. Also they have everything the baby needs at their home, changing table, dining chair, toys ect. We also don’t have a childproof home. Decorations at floor and that. Since i know they let baby crawl around to explore.

Don’t want baby to ruin our stuff like get spit up or for the baby to eat or choke on something. I kinda feel like they getting disapointed on us, but she also implies that it won’t be easy to play board games or watch a movie with baby around. So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby. Also i said to my friend that we don’t always need to have dinner at her home whenever we come over. We don’t expect dinner tbh.We also bring with us some snacks and sodas over.

Also i think its easier for them than having to bring tons of stuff over for the baby

OP posts:
Samatha09 · 30/11/2024 11:51

@GlovesScarfAndBoots i don’t really want to childproof my home fpr 2-3 hours.

@GinForBreakfast idk but we have breakable stuff that a baby would find interesting

OP posts:
inquisitiveinga · 30/11/2024 11:51

If you decide to have children one day, read this post back and give it a rating out of 10 for how much of a nob you sound.

You're probably lovely but like another OP has said, you'll need to adapt if this friendship is to last...

WhatNoRaisins · 30/11/2024 11:50

Surely you could just pick some rooms and move some things out of reach?

Nolegusta · 30/11/2024 11:50

GinForBreakfast · 30/11/2024 11:48

They have a baby now. If you want to stay friends with them you'll have to adapt. Seems reasonable. It's not like they're asking you to join them at baby rhyme time or tumble tots.

How much devastation can an 11 month old really create in your precious home?

You'd be surprised how much damage/chaos a baby can create.
It's also not precious to want to keep your home nice.

DuesToTheDirt · 30/11/2024 11:50

There won't be a huge amount of devastation from the baby, but board games and movies will get more and more difficult, unless you don't mind lots of interruptions.

GlovesScarfAndBoots · 30/11/2024 11:49

You don't sound very welcoming or considerate. I'd be prepared for this friendship to wane if you can't accept the changes that are necessary when children come along. It's fine if friends with children are not for you, but if you still want the friendship you're going to have to make some compromises.

GinForBreakfast · 30/11/2024 11:48

They have a baby now. If you want to stay friends with them you'll have to adapt. Seems reasonable. It's not like they're asking you to join them at baby rhyme time or tumble tots.

How much devastation can an 11 month old really create in your precious home?

Maddy70 · 30/11/2024 11:47

When friends have children the dynamics change. You are quite within your rights to stop having them over but the friendship will drift

Nolegusta · 30/11/2024 11:47

It does seem safer to just visit them and the baby in their home, however might they like to come as a couple and get a sitter for the baby occasionally?

LittleBearPad · 30/11/2024 11:46

4 adults should be able to corral a baby.

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