To ask for a cohabitation agreement

Not really because presumably she shares a room with him.

She would have no right to any notice to move out if they split up.
She would be safer renting or buying her own place

I would say either you need to get married and start acting like a family, or you just pay half the bills and he owns the whole house. I know which I'd prefer.

When me and my (now husband) bought our house we did so through a deed of trust as the deposit was technically from the sale of his old property and I paid for stamp duty/fees etc.

That means that the original down payment will continue to be his but any equity gained during our relationship would be split between us as I continue paying in.

Could you look into something similar? You'd need to agree at which point the 'equity' should be measured as you've been previously paying in for so long with no formal agreement.

Hopefully he will be reasonable and fair but I would definitely want something more concrete and official especially for your child.

If he was the landlord, she would have her own bedroom and some legal rights. She has neither.

Op you are right to be worried and want to change things. In your situation id move out and but my own place. Toddler can live 50:50 with you both, you can still date if you want.

If he refuses to marry or enable you to buy in, you start saving and buy your own property OP. You need to protect your financial independence and long term security for yourself and your DC.

Honestly I couldn’t have a child with anyone who wanted to invest in a property himself while you pay him ‘rent’ to live in it. Where is the teamwork here?

I’m sure he’s been warned with horror stories about gold digging bitches taking his friends/family for all they’ve got so he’s decided marriage isn’t on the cards anymore.

In your situation I think I’d rather get my own house and pay my own mortgage and bills than pay towards a house I’ll never own.

Tell him you’re saving for a deposit on a property so that you can get some financial security, so while you will contribute to half the bills, any extra will go into your property purchase. You can rent it out or move into it yourself depending on how the conversation goes!

Are you a couple or not? In effect you are contributing to the mortgage. Also you have a child together and have earned less because of childcare. How would you live if he died or wanted to separate?
all this needs discussing and something fair agreed for you and your child.

Sounds like he's your landlord, OP.

and anything over that will be my contribution towards his mortgage, which IF we move or break up will be considered my equity in the house and will be due back to me. Is this reasonable?

so, if you break up after 10 yrs, you're due back circa 70k? if you lived separately you'd have to pay for living costs, but I agree that he shouldn't be profiting from you.

I think, that as a homeowner, I'm not happy signing over some of my house when I've paid off X% already.

one option is to rent/buy somewhere together. another is to go for tenants in common on his house whereby he retains the portion he's already paid for and the rest is 50/50.

I wouldn't just keep paying in with no agreement, so I'd refuse to pay more than half the bills til the decision and action was made. This may prompt him to act.

Then she shouldn’t be paying towards the mortgage. You either keep all the equity because you pay all the mortgage or as it happens here she gets it back

he is getting all the benefits right now so you need a very long and frank discussion because at the moment you have very little rights

I see your point but do you not need to say that some of your contributions are going towards the roof over your head and general maintenance? It's always a difficult one

Then she shouldn’t have to pay any more in than the costs of bills and necessities. She’ll need to put the rest of the money she has available into a pension pot or savings account to protect herself in case they split up down the line. She should not be contributing to any house-related expense, including the mortgage.

As a homeowner myself I wouldn't agree to give someone else equity in my home and I dont think your partner will either sorry but you can ask all he can do is say no.

Yes absolutely

Get him to let you buy into the house or sell it and buy together. You are paying far too much into a house you don’t own