To make my son pay

To be honest OP I think your attitude in your replies stinks. People have offered reasonable advice and asked reasonable questions and you're sniping back at them.

I used to make my DSs pay for things by earning them with chores. They lost so much that I never had to iron a school shirt after Y7 amongst other things.

I would agree that losing things is a very common inattentive adhd trait. DS2 was diagnosed as an adult and it explained so, so much. If this is a possibility, making him pay seems mean as he can't help it but paying in "chores" would get round this.

I meant for the name label they first suggested. The secret name label is pointless a lost coat needs to be easily identified by the finder to return it and a secret label will be no use

It sounds like he's trying to solve the problem with the airtag suggestion. I think I'd be inclined to pay for the replacement.

Yep Vinted. Everyone looses things and it is frustrating but it's a first world problem not worth falling out about.

Dont allow it to be “a significant chunk of your budget to replace it.” Buy him a cheap one from a charity shop or primark, and if he wants a better, branded one he can pay himself.

Yes, that's a fair point!

I lose everything. Doesnt matter if I love it or bought it. In school most kids don’t lose stuff - the same kids do over and over again. I would buy pragmatically rather than punish

You’re so right, I’ve absolutely no idea why they prefer to be absolutely freezing than do the sensible thing and wear a coat!

OP I think 50/50 is fair so you at least make your point that coats don’t float down from thin air, tell him loses another one he buys his own next time, hopefully he’ll be more careful.

My son was the same for the first few years of senior school. He’s not much better at 17. He left his back pack at a party last year with his house keys in and god knows what else. He just doesn’t see the issue with some random person having keys to our home. It really annoys me. He works at MacDonalds and is forever losing his cap. I’ve bought so many replace off of eBay as there are no spares at work . I have started doing the same and making him replace stuff.

My daughter, a year older has never lost a thing!

Genius! I wish I'd thought of that, I have 3 now adult DC , and the amount of time and money I've spent replacing lost clothes adds up to a small fortune!

She didn’t say anything about branded, she said effective, a coat that is actually weatherproof. If you want something waterproof it generally costs a bit more.

@SirHisss
I work in a secondary school in the library where we have a lost property bin. Omg you would not believe the number of kids girls as well as boys who lose things. And the coats amaze me, North Face Canada Goose and so on. We are in an area of economic deprivation as well.
Myself I have been influenced by seeing the carnage and waste over the years I buy my coats in T K Maxx now. I wholeheartedly recommend them for your son.
And yes put a name tag and phone number on any item. I have some sympathy for school kids they do have to keep moving around and even if they have lockers they would still have to trek to them two ot three times a day.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to pay / contribute towards a replacement. There needs to be some sort of consequence for being careless with his stuff.

As soon as ds started saying he wanted branded items, I said fine, they'll be from Vinted then. When he loses or breaks something he's expected to contribute for a replacement, yes, after the first strike.

I work in a secondary school. I can never believe the number of coats left lying around that don't have names in! There must be 2000 very similar black coats in the school. Biro on the label is all it takes to reunite coat with child!

I’m going against the grain to say yes, I think YABU.
Hes in school, he shouldn’t have to buy his own stuff when he’s not earning a wage.
Also, as many apps have said, stop buying him expensive stuff for school. There’s absolutely no need. An unbranded coat is no less capable of protecting him from the elements. Stop being a brand snob. The expensive stuff should be for outside of school, the cheaper stuff is for in school. You have to take some responsibility for his things being stolen if you’re going to send him to school in pricey stuff

I mean you could just say that he has a part time job or that he gets pocket money rather than being sarky couldn’t you?

Also could he being bullied? One of mine constantly lost their PE kit. I even went into school with them one INSET day to look for it. The changing rooms etc were full of abandoned clothing though none we could find belonged to my child. Months later, a whole bag of their things was mysteriously found and returned to us.

100% buy on vinted or eBay - you will get something good for a tenner.

Get him a new coat for Christmas? He can cope with just a fleece until then. It doesn't sound as though he really values his coats anyway.

It is and as someone who has a ADHD diagnosis, I would be getting him to buy a new secondhand one. As I tell my ND DC it's not a get out of jail free card. It's a reason to take more care than others do and make more efforts to remember.

You know teens hate coats, don't you? My eldest never wore a coat to secondary after a certain age - nor did the rest of the pupils we saw out and about - hoodies only (it was a non uniform school). They moved to a different school later and I was glad the school required blazers, as it served as a sort of coat. He may be losing the coat on purpose or just leaving it around as he doesn't feel cold.

My kids went to three different secondaries between them and lockers were always an issue - ie not necessarily near where their lessons were.