To make my son pay

Vinted - and it's his christmas present or part of it.

I also recommend Mountain Warehouse. My son has got one of those 3 in 1 coats from there, I got it for his Y6 residential but sized up so he could take it to high school and he’s still wearing it in Y8. The tags that attach the fleece to the waterproof layer have come off but other than that it still looks pristine.

My son is 12 and a coat loser (we are having him assessed for ADHD albeit not just for that) He is lucky enough to have three coats as we’ve been gifted some and all three have been lost at different times, and sometimes at the same time. 😫 I have hauled the Mountain Warehouse one out of lost properly that many times it’s now known as the boomerang coat 😂

The receptionist recommended all coats should be coloured rather than black (the MW one is green) as they are easier to find (and probably nicked less)

He lost a nice blue Nike one before last half term so I assumed it was gone for good but amazingly it’s turned up again. So all may not be lost! I bet it’s in that school somewhere…

I have threatened him with charity shop/Vinted and paying for it from his pocket money many times and that 80% of the time makes it reappear. Ditto his planner. 🙄

Go Outdoors do a good range of coats, we usually buy my dc coats from there as they are good quality, but usually a decent price. You can sign up for a card if you don't already have one. And I think they take Blue Light card

Was coming on to say this - is there more to his continual losing/forgetting things?

and whether there is or not, I’d definitely just buy second hand/vinted/charity shop replacements going forward. It will take the stress out of it and you may find that forgotten items do actually end up in lost property as noone wants (or can resell on vinted) unbranded ones.

He's a teenager, we learn things as we mature into adulthood, including looking after our things and how much things cost.

It's part of growing up. Negative consequences are often good ways of learning to take more care next time.

OP hasn't said he should pay for the whole thing, just that he should contribute.

It’s great being an adult. Because you can generally make mistakes, have accidents and lose stuff, and nobody can tell you off. Being a kid, you lose something and get an earful.

It’s ok to be frustrated OP. But I think it’s a bit mean to make him pay, if you can find the funds. He didn’t do it on purpose and has tried to find it. These things happen.

Replace from vinted. I find the casual shrug of oh well it’s fine I just won’t have a coat/ gloves/ hat this year like that’s the solution infuriating.

M and S do some cheap winter coats that are really good. I got myself one!

I would get him to pay for the air tag while you buy the coat. It's frustrating isn't it. Mine were always losing everything but I also think they were absent minded and a bit overwhelmed by school.

If it's any consolation, they are both now adults and look after their stuff v well.

And ignorant.

"may be inattentive or even ADHD or whatever, but everyone improves through effort"

Lovely attitude here
Nice and ableist

But he is still a dependent presumably so that makes no odds to plight he finds himself in. If he is walking and out and about, you wouldn't want your teenager to be in a non waterproof, warm coat. My two are teenagers and I still want them to be comfortable and warm and healthy, just like I did when they were four. My Mum feels the same about me and I'm in my forties.

I would pay for him, I have an older teen and would pay for him. Like others have said my two prefer Vinted or D pop as they like the quality of coats that are from the 90s/00s.

I think you pay but he contributes is a good compromise.
i have a copy non apple air tag from Amazon & it works fine.

I lose things all the time, as an adult I pay for them myself, it doesnt mean I lose things less. I probably have ADD, the inattentive type of ADHD. The air tag sounds like a good idea. Does he have a mobile phone? He could put a reminder on it to buzz just after school finishes for the day to grab his coat. Alarms and reminders and lists are what helps me the most, just to make sure I don't turn them off without doing the thing I need to do.

Eta: to answer your question personally I'd say strategies to help him remember might be more useful than making him pay for it.

Because being a parent doesn't mean buying unlimited replacements for stuff that your children haven't looked after!

He's a teenager - old enough to understand the value of money and to look after his stuff properly (and pay towards replacements when he's been lazy or careless).

Because he is being careless and entitled and disrespectful when it comes to his belongings that someone else - the OP - pays for

He is a teenager not a child in reception

Why on earth would you even consider asking him to pay?!! He's your child, you clothe him, it's 100% your responsibility. Jeesh!!

My first thought is perhaps he is being bullied from how often it occurs and he is too embarrassed to say the truth

What kind of teenager? 13? 18? Or somewhere in between?

If he's 15+, I'd say give him a set amount per week that's to cover everything - clothes, shoes, sports equipment, bus passes - and no more, whatever happens. If he loses something, he has to replace it out of what he has. If he loses two things in a week, he'll need to prioritize what matters to him more. He'll soon learn to budget and know the value of things, and being cold for a week or two will probably improve his memory. Just tell him you'll give him a lift to the charity shop if he wants one.