To make my son pay

A neurotypical teenager losing large items of important clothing is normal? I know teenagers are irresponsible but it’s not like losing some keys…there’s more to the story here.

it is neither odd nor unlikely.

He’s your child. Just buy him a cheap one. Also how do you know it’s not being stolen? He’s probably too embarrassed to tell anyone but him losing stuff so often is a bit odd and unlikely.

My son was like that although it was mainly his Oyster card. Lost it about 6 times from Y7-Y10. The last time, I asked him to pay then he never lost again but we were also approaching the end of school term. Since then he's become much better in general. He was recently diagnosed with dyslexia in his final year of uni which contributes to his 'forgetfulness' amongst other things.

Get on Vinted or go to a charity shop for a replacement and order a Bluetooth tag to sew into the lining of the coat so you can locate it next time. I get your frustration because my son is also constantly losing things, but he has ADHD and no object permanence, so if it’s not attached to him, he forgets.

It wouldn’t be fair to charge my teen dd because she has ASD and keeping track of things is extremely difficult for her. If an item is critical, like her asthma inhaler, or prone to getting lost, like her coat, it has an AirTag attached. I buy them in the 4 packs when they go on sale.

what I do expect from her is to put up with the AirTags. If she balked or removed them, then yes, she would have to pay for replacements of lost items.

I don’t replace non-essential items. When she loses a treasured lip gloss or a piece of costume jewelry, she has to live with that until she can get a new one. So she does still experience consequences.

He may have adhd . I don't see what's wrong with a branded secondhand coat as long as it is in fairly ok condition. You might be able to get one on Ebay too cheaply. Or a site called you know whos which does ex branded goods . Or if you have one near PEP & Co in poundland (clothing section part ) for small mens Or something. I found primarks gone up a lot. I have had to do stuff like this as I'm on one wage & universal credit.

I know you want your son to have nice stuff but if you get the branded stuff more cheaply....at least you've mot spent £50+ on a coat for it to happen again.

This.

Get him secondhand coats off Vinted. Lots of items new still with tags to be had

I once went to my son's school steaming with righteous wrath because his expensive school jumper had clearly been stolen, as his reported visits to lost property had been fruitless, only to be informed that they'd been holding the sweater up at assembly for the entire week, and he hadn't noticed. Obviously hadn't been to lost property either. Kids!!!!!

My son also lost everything at school. And I mean EVERYTHING. He was much younger than your boy though. He often came home with other kids' labelled clothes, even shoes sometimes. His stuff was labelled and he was often reunited with it sometime later, thanks to the lovely school staff who knew he was really disorganised.
He was referred by the school and diagnosed soon after for dyslexia, dyspraxia and later, ADHD.
I'd ask your boy for his ideas about how to tackle this issue, and go with it. Sounds like he's got his head screwed on

Vinted

Charity shops exist. I’d get this season’s one from a charity shop and buy a new one next year.

I think you could offer a contribution, he can choose to get a cheaper one with the money or use his own money to top up to buy a new one. Its a good lesson in money management and tell him its the last time you'll give a contribution.

Make sure all his clothes are labelled. There is a chance they will get back to him.

I bought a £29 coat from tesco at the start of winter, 25% off = about £24. Have worn it daily for dog walking here including in the rain, and on holiday through the nordic countries last week when it was minus degrees - kept me perfectly warm and dry.

They had absolutely loads of others under £60, men, women and children sizes.
Matalan also had the same 25% off sale when I was shopping, again loads of very warm, waterproof coats between £30-60. Tu have the same discount often. The coats are just plain colours, perfectly suitable for school even if not the coolest.

Buy him a cheap or even better second hand one from vinted and either make him pay or take it out of what you would have spent on christmas. And then write his name all over it in several places, including an iron on name tag etc (places like shein/ebay do them block bulk very cheaply).

Could you get him a cheap one/get him to buy a cheap one for the next couple weeks and is he wants a more expensive one it can be his christmas present ?

They do sometimes, but a lot of people, not just teens - have their 'phones to hand almost constantly and quickly recognise it as 'something missing' because they use it so much and see it as part of themselves or their day.

A coat, not so much.

I'm in my 40s and despite growing up without mobile 'phones, see it as something important. Purse, keys, mobile 'phone.

It's just what's happened with how mobile 'phones have become so important to us.

And much of life now is dependent on smart 'phones. Despite it not being healthy in the grand scheme of things.

I’m sorry but if he’s always loosing stuff then why are you buying him an expensive coat?

Where did op say she was buying an expensive coat?

All these 'teens always lose stuff' posts - how often do they lose their phones?

And I am literally saying I would pay, I was responding to a poster about him being a teenager and not being a reception age child. I personally don't think there is any difference as he is still dependent on you. I would pay for my 17 year old but I can afford to so obviously easy for me to say.

I’m sorry but if he’s always loosing stuff then why are you buying him an expensive coat?

& if you can find one, a duvet type coat that he can fold up small and squidge in his bag - I have one that is brilliant for that when I go to the theatre

Saw your comment about mountain warehouse - they're often cheaper online than in-store - I realised this the other day - pointed it out to staff, who agreed with me, so I ordered online when I was in the shop.