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AIBU?

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To think DH did nothing wrong here?

456 replies

Challas · 29/11/2024 21:21

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Edingril · 30/11/2024 02:21

But you decided for her what she needed, you took the control away from her an grown adult in order to think for herself

And you decided she needed a man as was incapable to think for herself, you did this because you wanted to feel better about helping someone because you decided they needed it

betterangels · 30/11/2024 02:21

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:18

offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car)

Am I blind it says, him to stay with her!

Yes, with them sitting in separate cars. He was offering to wait with her, not luring her into his car.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:18

betterangels · 30/11/2024 02:16

He was going to stay in his car. He didn't ask her into the car. Jesus wept the comprehension issues on this thread.

offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car)

Am I blind it says, him to stay with her!

betterangels · 30/11/2024 02:16

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:11

It's in the op " I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car)"

Care to apologise for calling me a liar,! @MemorableTrenchcoat

He was going to stay in his car. He didn't ask her into the car. Jesus wept the comprehension issues on this thread.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:15

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:12

Not my problem if you have comprehension issues.

Urban dictionary ? Play fair

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:15

@adriftinadenofvipers a bit unfair to quote Urban dictionary slang hardly universal. I can assure you no I haven't nor have I ever partaken in alcohol. Good enough,?

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:12

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:05

Charming I am sure . Maybe use proper English as I was pulled up for dialect and you are now using unclear phrases. God forbid you use commonly understood language 🤦‍♀️

Not my problem if you have comprehension issues.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:12

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 02:11

Nope, the statistics don’t bear this out, and it is not a crime to offer assistance, nor warn other motorists of an obstruction in the road.

I suggest you read the statistics properly next time the number of opportune attacks on women by men.

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:12

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:04

Glad you find a woman in distress as funny, strange reaction.

No it's you I'm laughing at.

betterangels · 30/11/2024 02:12

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:59

So your speculation is a little wild. I would say any man approaching a woman and asking her,we don't know the tone is enough to warrant investigation.

That's utterly ridiculous given the details of this situation.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 02:11

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:06

Well sadly statistics tells women the opposite!

Nope, the statistics don’t bear this out, and it is not a crime to offer assistance, nor warn other motorists of an obstruction in the road.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:11

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 01:57

How many times are you going to lie about him offering a car share? He didn’t, period.

It's in the op " I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car)"

Care to apologise for calling me a liar,! @MemorableTrenchcoat

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:06

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 02:02

No, a person offering assistance to a motorist who has broken down beside their home, regardless of their genders, does not warrant a police investigation. Don’t be so ridiculous.

Well sadly statistics tells women the opposite!

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:05

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:03

Google it.

Charming I am sure . Maybe use proper English as I was pulled up for dialect and you are now using unclear phrases. God forbid you use commonly understood language 🤦‍♀️

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:04

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:01

😂😂😂

Glad you find a woman in distress as funny, strange reaction.

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:03

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:02

What on earth is falling down water?

I am only up thank you dear.plenty of people react differently to different situations, amazing I know. Plenty of people freeze in an unexpected situation.

I don't read his offer as appropriate. No man I know would offer to share a car and make a woman uncomfortable.

Google it.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 02:02

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 01:59

A man who was trying to be kind and help someone out and it didn't occur to him that his offer could be misconstrued. Decent people don't necessarily think in the terms of scumbags.

The issue is absolutely the driving. Any driver with an ounce of sense knows to leave the car with the hazards on in a dangerous position. The OP could have hit her!!

Why would anyone be "in shock" because they broke down?

Listen go to bed, you may have had too much falling down water, because this is so childish. I'm done.

What on earth is falling down water?

I am only up thank you dear.plenty of people react differently to different situations, amazing I know. Plenty of people freeze in an unexpected situation.

I don't read his offer as appropriate. No man I know would offer to share a car and make a woman uncomfortable.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 02:02

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:59

So your speculation is a little wild. I would say any man approaching a woman and asking her,we don't know the tone is enough to warrant investigation.

No, a person offering assistance to a motorist who has broken down beside their home, regardless of their genders, does not warrant a police investigation. Don’t be so ridiculous.

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:01

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:59

So your speculation is a little wild. I would say any man approaching a woman and asking her,we don't know the tone is enough to warrant investigation.

😂😂😂

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 02:00

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:57

It is here yes

Oh so you get to pick and choose what's English and what isn't!! Oh you are a charm!!!

I'm a graduate in English and I am here to tell you, "hun" is not English!!

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:59

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 01:54

Again, we don’t know what the woman told the police. For all we know, she could have accused him of touching or propositioning her. So, they would be right to investigate, even though they had been lied to and there was no case to answer.

So your speculation is a little wild. I would say any man approaching a woman and asking her,we don't know the tone is enough to warrant investigation.

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 01:59

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:56

The issue is not the driving or the incident.the issue is the strange man interference and making her feel she needed the police.

I am a very safe driver thanks
The woman may have been in shock. But man with sense is going to offer a car share!

A man who was trying to be kind and help someone out and it didn't occur to him that his offer could be misconstrued. Decent people don't necessarily think in the terms of scumbags.

The issue is absolutely the driving. Any driver with an ounce of sense knows to leave the car with the hazards on in a dangerous position. The OP could have hit her!!

Why would anyone be "in shock" because they broke down?

Listen go to bed, you may have had too much falling down water, because this is so childish. I'm done.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/11/2024 01:57

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:56

The issue is not the driving or the incident.the issue is the strange man interference and making her feel she needed the police.

I am a very safe driver thanks
The woman may have been in shock. But man with sense is going to offer a car share!

How many times are you going to lie about him offering a car share? He didn’t, period.

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:57

So you have an issue with dialect as well. Good to know

Marblesbackagain · 30/11/2024 01:57

adriftinadenofvipers · 30/11/2024 01:55

And "hun" is English? News to me 😂

It is here yes