To think DH did nothing wrong here?

How is it her fault when she’s broken down? No-one should be going that fast round a bend that they can’t stop if there’s an obstruction in the road.

I don’t think men truly understand the fear.

I was once in a remote ish place walking a dog. There had just been an incident with another dog being aggressive and I was on edge.

Out of nowhere a man appeared. I jumped out of my skin and for a few seconds was really scared. He started talking to me about how his dog had been attacked once, all normal conversation.

Never in a million years would that bloke have understood his effect on me.

Not particularly relevant, but we do have conversations in my family, amongst the men and women about it, eg what would my son do if he was walking behind a woman on a dark street etc. My blokes know it as I and my daughters have explained, but they don’t FEEL it.

Sorry but what your DH did was pretty creepy. She told him she didn’t need help but he sat round the corner like a weird stalker. Yet another man thinking he knows what’s best for the pathetic little woman. I would’ve been really scared of him if I’d been her, like the situation isn’t bad enough already without some weirdo hanging around. Your DH needs to learn to respect women’s wishes and be mindful of boundaries.

That's all a bit theoretical in the moment, when some clueless moron has put herself and other road users in danger, isn't it? Fuck her feelings, quite frankly. They don't trump the risk of causing a high speed collision.

I feel very sorry for your husband.

Why did the police continue to be aggressive when you confirmed that you had called him to try and prevent an accident.

Very strange when the woman was clearly able to say that he had told her who he was and where he lived.

Unfortunately this is the world we live in now.
So many attacks on women are opportunistic.

If she had broken down on the side of a motorway, the first advice the police and rescue service would have given the woman when she contacted them would have been to get out of her vehicle and move away from it, to several feet behind any crash barrier. The same safety reasons for getting away from your vehicle apply to a blind bend on a dangerous country road. In many European countries, the woman would have been breaking the law by failing to carry warning triangles and a high vis vest in her car. She created a road hazard and did not take sufficient action to protect herself and others from it.

Of course it is frightening to have a strange man approach you in the dark, but it’s ridiculous of the police to turn up hours after the event to tell a man off for providing his full name and address to a woman and helping to keep her safe by alerting other road users to the hazard so that she didn’t have to risk getting out of her car to do it herself. As for posters reading the OP as him suggesting she get into his car - it actually makes more sense to read it as him offering to stay nearby in his car, while she remained in hers, to help keep her and others safe, which is exactly what he did. She didn’t actually have the right to refuse to let him keep other people safe from the danger that she and her car had created in a way that did not impact on her decision to remain locked in her car and therefore totally overreacted to complain about it, given her abject failure to lift a finger to warn other road users of her car’s presence.

For some reason, some people seem to be reluctant to accept this later clarification the OP made. Not sure why. It’s there in black and white.

To be fair, he never suggested he sit in her car, or her in his. The OP said he offered to stay, but sitting separately, in his car, while she stayed in hers.

I just see if differently. He did back away from her, as if course he should, but took steps to ensure the safety of other people.

I don’t see that as wrong, but as I said, none of us were there.

I agree with you. Last time I broke down a nice guy offered me a lift down the road because there was no phone reception where I was. I got in and off we went and I did think then well if anything happens people will say this is my fault. But nothing did and in fact another two men helped me that day in different ways to get me back up and running - actually really (partially) restored my faith in men / kindness of strangers but i’m keenly aware it was a risk to get in that car with that guy.

Had he been insistent and then went off to sit round the corner. And it was dark. And i was alone - I dunno, i’d maybe feel very differently and would have felt threatened and reported like that woman did.

^This.

Man asked woman if she required help
She replied No

Man asked woman if she wanted to wait on his property to be safe
She replied No

Man then parked car near woman and sat there for unknown length of time .

His intention was good but his lack of awareness at how vulnerable she must has felt, for him not to be accepting No as an answer, is quite astonishing.

Would he have refused No as an answer if it was a man saying it?
I highly doubt he would not have carried on insisting to help!

Could have been an hour, or it could have been five minutes. He didn’t phone the police, though. He asked the woman if she wanted his assistance and then ignored what she said and waited anyway. I doubt he’d have waited round the bend if it had been a burly bloke in the car who’d told him no.

I agree with this. Your husband was very kind to help, thats not in doubt but if I was stranded in a broken down car and a strange man suggested I sit in his car I would be very very wary too. Women are told constantly to be wary of men they dont know with random offers of help because thats exactly the situation that has ended up in women being raped and killed sadly. Surely you can see that from her perspective?

Just because your husband has a wife and a child doesnt mean he isnt a potential risk to her, plenty of women have been murdered by men with families. Wayne Couzins had a wife!

This is why women can't win.

You act on your fear and report - and people complain that you should have magically known the guy was harmless.

You don't act on your fear and something happens - people say "why didn't she call it in, why did she make nice with the stranger, silly woman, she was asking for trouble". etc etc.

Well obviously none of us were there, but the woman would have been extremely stressed by her car breaking down in this position and her sense of danger very switch on. She probably did feel threatened, but that’s not say she was being threatened?

It’s possible for two things to be true. I can see how the woman might be scared, but I also think it’s correct that the man took steps, before the bend, to alleviate the risk of a serious accident. In retrospect it probably would have been wise to call the police himself.

The police are always going to respond to a report of a man being perceived as threatening.

This reminds me of a post a while back about an older teenager cycling up and down a cycle path, practicing something. A female walker reported him and posted it on a local Facebook group, I seem to remember. The poster was furious that anyone would publicly out her son as a ‘weirdo’ but did accept why it could have been alarming to the walker.

But between him phoning the police and them actually turning up - could be an hour or so where I live - someone else could have ploughed into the back of her car.

The OP's DH put the safety of everyone, including her, first.

I agree I get annoyed if I am happily engaged doing something, albeit not perfectly, and a bloke decides I need help. He can sod right off.

But in this scenario, he was right. In my opinion.

I think the OP clarified she meant the husband said he would wait in his car, whilst the lady waited in her car. Not get in the same car.

I agree it was unclear in the OP, but was clarified.

She's been a dick, and will probably realise it once she's processed everything. We should all be more like your dh, willing to inconvenience ourselves to offer help and to protect. I admire him and you for bothering, please keep being you because we are lost if we give in to fear and disillusionment and give up on trusting each other.

MN is a funny place. People won't open the door when someone knocks, are horrified at the prospect of a trans woman in a toilet, would rather meet a bear than a man in the woods, but simultaneously cannot possibly understand why a woman might be afraid of a male stranger approaching her when she's stranded in the dark.

I think if the car woman had posted, she'd have got very different responses.

Personally I would have accepted the help - I've twice accepted help from a man when I've been in difficulty on the road. I tend to believe that people are generally good, and bad apples are rare, even though I've encountered plenty of them! But I know many women feel differently, and so of course I can understand why this woman acted as she did. My view is VERY far from the usual view on MN, so I'm struggling to see why so many think she was so wrong and doing a disservice to helpful men everywhere. .

This

Wow what a pet