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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH did nothing wrong here?

456 replies

Challas · 29/11/2024 21:21

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Marblesbackagain · 29/11/2024 21:31

His offer to get in the car is beyond weird and would have had me ringing the police.

Women aren't to know which man but for his own sake he needs awareness of reasonable boundaries most women will have.

2110l · 29/11/2024 21:30

Catza · 29/11/2024 21:29

You can look at it from both perspectives, surely. You know your DH had good intentions. The woman didn't. She is sitting alone in a car and a random bloke rocks up to her. She asks him to go away, but he doesn't.
Why didn't you go and sit with her? Surely, you understand how his intentions may have been misconstrued. For all she knows, he could have been a charming Ted Bundy type.

Well, the OP was on her way to school

and...the police report...what was the crime exactly?

Catza · 29/11/2024 21:29

You can look at it from both perspectives, surely. You know your DH had good intentions. The woman didn't. She is sitting alone in a car and a random bloke rocks up to her. She asks him to go away, but he doesn't.
Why didn't you go and sit with her? Surely, you understand how his intentions may have been misconstrued. For all she knows, he could have been a charming Ted Bundy type.

FoxCrumble · 29/11/2024 21:28

I don’t think your DH did anything wrong, but the lesson is, don’t offer help, to anyone, ever. It inevitably comes back to bite you on the bottom.

starrymidnight · 29/11/2024 21:28

Sounds like he meant well, but offering to get into her car with her was poorly judged - sorry.

2110l · 29/11/2024 21:27

Yep - your DH is right - helping people gets you a huge slap in the face and is to be avoided these days.

He's literally tried to save someone from being hit by a car (and tbh if she was there a while, he probably did save her from it using his hazards). And he's been accused of being some sort of predator.

I am interested in exactly what crime the police accused him of?

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