To think this was crappy parenting?

There is a world of difference between allowing a child to get bored now and again and not making yourself a play leader 24/7, and just dumping them in an empty playground and expecting them to 'play' while congratulating yourself on their independence.

Well this is exactly what I used to do! Dump them in a playground and expect them to play without input from me! If they came over whining they were bored, I'd say "OK let's go home then!"

Funnily enough they'd suddenly not be bored!

And I am congratulating myself how independent they are. One travelled the world alone at 19 and the other doing 6 months placement abroad. Both are very popular, healthy and well balanced kids.

There was no helicopter parenting in our home.

This post is a little odd. You didn't have to continue talking to the child - my friends daughter does this talking at adults I've seen plenty people smile answer once or twice then move away/ignore.
The parents seemed like they were being sympathetic and your actions seem a little over the top leaving because your child cried then muttering a passive aggressive remark. I would focus more on helping younger one and letting older child play a bit more independently.

You got the arse because the little girl didn’t want to engage with your son. Honestly, you need to lighten up. And why on earth did you leave the park. Your son is going to get knock-backs throughout his life and you need to teach him coping mechanisms.

The child in the park did nothing wrong. She wanted to talk to you, an adult, and not your son. You engaged with the child and you both had a conversation going. She had no interest in what your son had to say and that’s ok. She wasn’t mean to him, she was talking to you and telling you about herself.
Your son’s reaction was very dramatic, I understand kids cry but burying himself in your skirt and having to peel him off your leg and leave because some kid spoke to his mother is bizarre.
The parents did absolutely nothing wrong either.

For year's I've taken my kids to parks which are empty and just sat there and watched them play. As they got older I didn't need to follow them round but I watched them every second, as they got older still I could take my eyes off them for a bit and just keep checking in.

It is different because they have each other so I'm not really required. If either of them started talking to someone I would keep my eye on them but I wouldn't intervene.

It's good for kids to play independently, be a bit bored, talk to someone new and realise you aren't there to entertain them 24/7 especially aged 5.

Some kids are naturally curious and sociable so they will strike up a conversation with someone new. They could be happily playing but something more interesting turns up, it's not that they are being neglected.

I'm not a sociable person, never have been even as an only child and neither are my kids, they have their friends and each other and it would never occur to them to strike up a conversation with an adult but not everyone is like us and some people actually like new people.

Sometimes parents just need a break from the whirlwind that is children and that's why we take them to the park/soft play so that they leave us alone for a bit!

I think I would have channelled my inner Mary Poppins, interrupted the little girl and started leading both of them in a game of some sort. You needed to break the chat, distract her and get them both to play on the slide or something.

I don't tend to be one of the 'maybe they had a [insert unlikely thing]' brigade, but maybe the adults needed a few minutes w/o a child around to talk about something. Maybe there are problems (which might explain the child latching on to you). Either way it doesn't matter - she was there and since you knew she hadn't actually been abandoned you had quite a lot of options of how to handle it.

Personally if my son was talking to an adult for a few minutes I would go over because I’m nosey and would want to know what they’re talking about. Also mixed in with the fact I’m slightly cautious/distrusting of strangers so would also want to assess whether they seemed like a safe and nice person for my son to talk to.
He’s only 2 tho so maybe that’ll change with time.

Maybe they interacted with her all day and wanted some down time, or thought it would be good for her to play independently for a bit? I'd assume another parent would send my child on their way if they didn't want them around.

I think it was on you to tell the girl to go and play. You can ask for space kindly and be firmer if she doesn't get the message (still nicely). The girl obviously has to learn some social manners about inclusion (you could have pointed out ds was trying to talk to her too) but consider it a learning experience for your son too. Good chance to learn not to take it personally if someone else isn't behaving nicely.

There is a world of difference between allowing a child to get bored now and again and not making yourself a play leader 24/7, and just dumping them in an empty playground and expecting them to 'play' while congratulating yourself on their independence.

I must have missed your post where you followed the family for 24 hours to ascertain how much time they spent interacting with their child. And then conducted an interview where they told you that they congratulated themselves. Do forgive me.

He wasn't entitled to her attention though. This will happen again. Will he howl each time someone ignores him?

Maybe walk away from them next time and they'll start playing together. Or find a kind version of 'go away now' to get rid of unwanted attention, so you can play with your son.

Ooh are we supposed to play with our children in the playground?

Maybe if you’d have let him be a bit more independent in the playground they would have found each other to talk to/play together. And he would be a bit more resilient. He can’t cry just because some random girl is ignoring him and talking to his Mum instead.

Agree with @vibratosprigato OPs son had a normal 5 year old reaction! Little chatterbox is just a normal kid at the park.

People are so intolerant of kids being kids these days. Getting pissed at an actual 5 year old for talking is just so mean! (not talking about OP who was kind to the little girl) 5 year olds chat to me all the time at the park even when sometimes I have expressly come to the park to get 5 mins peace from my own little annoyances who are playing nicely for 5 minutes by themselves, thank you god, but you know what, we chat anyway because being nice to small children who are not your own is part of being a decent human. Likewise, politely letting them know you’re busy is fine too. It’s all part of growing up in the world!

Likewise little boy having a meltdown because other little person is hogging his mum is
ls totally normal.

Leave them kids alone!

I’m with you OP. Other people’s kids can be a pain in the arse. You don’t take your child out to spend the whole time entertaining some other kid who’s parents can’t be bothered.

I think you’re just annoyed at the parents that you couldn’t think of a way to tell her to go away. Just have some comments to create some space next time as it will happen again. Just something like. Ooh I think it’s time for you to go back to your family now will work or We’re going off to play now, why don’t you go back to your mummy. Kids can be annoying sometimes.

how is this crap parenting?!

But she doesn't have to give it?

This. Plus I'd be concerned at my son's over dramatic reaction.

I agree with you OP. It's is pretty crap parenting. On your part. Instead of teaching him resilience , you taught your ds how to throw all his toys out of the pram and run home when he can't get his way.

I take issue with the idea that either 5 year old is at "fault" here. One was being a bit rude by blanking, and one was perhaps a bit over sensitive, but that is judging them by our adult standards. They are children still figuring all of this out!

Let me guess, anyone who is not providing 24/7 entertainment to their child is a lazy parent?
The little girls had enough confidence to approach and have a conversation with an adult. She is not obligated to talk to your son who, by your own standards is not particularly confident with his social skills if he was not able to assert himself. To be fair, I wouldn't expect a 5-year-old to have strong communication skills but I am a "lazy parent".
You saw a child being bored. I say it's excellent. Boredom is essential for fostering creativity and self-regulation. A bored child is a healthy child who grows up to be an adult never lonely in their own company.

He's not a problem. You're causing him problems with your horror at the idea of a five year old not being fussed over every waking moment.

Huh? They knew what was going on with the child. For all you know they'd spent time entertaining the child before you arrived, then left her to play freely.
The park wasn't deserted with them there chatting.
Maybe your idea that children need parents hovering 24/7 is why your son fell apart for not having your attention for or a few minutes.