To think this was crappy parenting?

Other children can only monopolise your time, if you allow them too. They are young enough to be distracted, and told to go, and play.

So using a play ground in a child development appropriate way is now abdication of responsibility 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I suggest you and op go read up on the theory of play.

When Ds was 4 he used to insist on going into our local playground even when it was empty, quickly get bored and ask to go home. He only really liked it when it was busy and had other kids to play with. However, no amount of forewarning him about it worked. I used to agree to take him and let him play for a bit by himself till he indeed got bored - no amount of me entertaining him wotked because he wanted other people to hang out with. So I would probably have been that parent. However, this wasn't me being neglectful. It was me doing what my child wanted to do....

Op I’m with you on this.

So many parents abdicate responsibility for looking after their dc bc they want some down time to drink their coffee or chat with friends at soft play, the park playground, or in coffee shops and restaurants. But they don’t give a crap about another parent’s time being monopolised by their dc!

I'm bemused by the OP's fixation on the playground being empty. I don't think she realises that the idea is for children to play with the equipment, not randoms.

You really aren't getting it. It is perfectly normal to allow children independent play in a playground. It is literally required for children to actually play in the true sense of the theory of play.

Parents don't go to playgrounds to play with their children. We do that outside of what ideally should be a children only zone.

I hope they didn’t hear you because what you said was ridiculously rude. And passive aggressive .

So at this point you're still convinced they are crap parents?

I have this at soft play sometime when I’m just trying to play with my child but someone’s else’s child is dominating my time and attention because their parents cba. I know it’s awful but I’ve now taken to just ignoring them.

I agree. You sound massively judgemental. You were irritated at the young girl for not including your child (she’s 5 or around that- it wasn’t personal but you took it as a slight against him) also saying you obviously left - why did you have to go? She didn’t hit him or shout at him. Why didn’t you tell her you and your son were off to play on the equipment and distract him? He’d have likely been over it very soon.

Also them shaking their heads and saying oh dear is a typical reaction to when a child is upset or hurts themselves and is something I’ve done countless times myself to parents I don’t know but want to express sympathy for their child’s upset - stop taking things so personally, you assumed they were attacking your child 🙄 you are way too defensive and lashing out at ppl, accusing them of shit parenting bc it angered you to see your child upset and you over reacted.

Maybe you felt guilty bc you thought you should have halted the girl earlier and avoided your son getting upset in the first place, but it’s not her fault, she’s a small child, and her parents were keeping an eye on her and probably assumed you were happy to talk with her, as most parents would be. You seem to be pretty aggressive when it comes to your child, this will not endear you to other parents at school.

If you normally watch from a distance why are you cross with them for doing exactly that and say it’s crap parenting?

It may have been hard to shake the girl. (I’d have tried though). You could have left your DS5 with her and wandered off and popped your younger one on the swing and been busy with him.

Either way, they weren’t crap parents and it’s a unusual reaction from your son.

Don’t you wonder why a lot of people are advocating that? Because that’s what most parents do in the playground. Not follow them around the whole time.

Yes a 2 year old you need to make sure they’re safe. But you can watch a 5 year old from a distance.

He needs to learn that if someone doesn’t want to engage with him that’s fine. It was a problem because you were there, hovering around . And you allowed it to continue.

But you left before they did so you've no idea if/how they interacted with him over the whole visit.

It's a bit ironic that you're criticising the other parents for not paying attention to their child but it's your child who got upset because of.. you not paying attention to him.

What I would have done in your position is say "it's been lovely to chat to you but I am here to play with my kids - DS, what shall we do?" And fine if she joined us but I wouldn't just keep chatting to someone else's child

Leaving the park because your son had a melt down because he felt like he was being ignored was a big over reaction. She was just a 5 year old child . Such big drama!!

I'm struggling to see what the other parents did wrong here?

It sounds like the situation upset you, and you're misdirecting your sadness/frustration towards them.

If my dc was being blanked and left out I'd have started talking directly to them so they weren't left out, or got up and offered to push them on the swing or something to stop then being blanked. I wouldn't let the other kid direct things.

Eh its called independent play, loads of books in it maybe look into it since you had a child clinging to you?

We’re working on our DC being more independent and if they’re bored, figuring it out themselves. I probably would intervene if it looked like they were irritating another parent… but honestly your son also didn’t have the social skills to understand she didn’t want to play with him… and you didn’t have the parenting ability to politely and firmly say, I’m here to play with my child, I can’t chat anymore and send her on her way soooo…

Your way looks sounds like the engaged way in the short term, but in the long term, we need to teach our kids to be resilient and independent and that includes handling when another adult sends them on their way, as you should have for that child.

I don't get how you can criticise this child's social skills and not your child's. One child didn't include everyone in the conversation and wanted to interact with you alone, the order threw a tantrum due to not being included. Most 5 year olds don't have the level of empathy to understand their actions lead to someone feeling left out, but most would have enough social skills and self regulation to not start howling.

As the adult it's on you to handle the situation. Yes kids can be annoying in situations like this but they are easily dealt with and they need to be told clearly what to do, they can't be expected to pick up on subtle social cues. You dont have to be rude to a child but its ok to make it clear you dont want them hanging around. Phrases like: 'Tom is here to play, why don't you play with him. I'm having quiet time over there on the bench.' Or 'it's play time now not talking time'. Or 'if you want to talk go talk to your Mum over there, I'm talking to Tom now'. Or 'its been nice talking to you but I'm finished talking now. Bye'. Or 'This is Tom he would like to play with you, why don't you go to the slide together' etc.

Eh? Why didn't you just stop talking to her and go off and play with ds?

Plus why was he so upset? Odd reaction.

Many kids that age don't know about etiquette and involving others in conversations. It's not her fault nor bad parenting.