To think this was crappy parenting?

Why did you leave? Couldn’t you have comforted him and then motivated him to carry on with the day. You’d all have had a better day, including his sibling.

The memo comment was responding to someone who seemed to think I had somehow prevented the girl from playing on the equipment by insisting on interacting with her

Er no. It was someone bemused by your horror that a parent would take a child to an empty play park because YOU think the point of them is interaction with others, not using the equipment.

Yes, the little girl approached you. But why does that matter? It was your choice to chat with her (which was a kind thing to do). It was also your choice to stalk off and make a rude comment to her parents. You could have responded quite differently, as PPs have noted. You assumed that the child would follow you, but you can’t possibly know that. And even if your assumptions proved correct, so what? Once again, you could have chosen to respond in any number of ways.

Your children are still young. You will encounter hundreds of similar situations in the next few years. I really think you’ve blown a non-event out of proportion with your reaction. It’s good for children to discover that other people won’t always behave as they want them to. It’s also important to step back and allow children to learn how to navigate the social world. Yes, your son was disappointed that the girl was more interested in chatting with you than with him. And his disappointment is perfectly understandable. But that’s life. By leaving the park and making a snide comment to the child’s parents, you’ve sent a message to your son that this is the appropriate response, when in fact there were many other (and IMO better) options.

Frankly, I'd have just interrupted her monologue and said, "Well, that was a lot of chat! Off you go and play! Bye bye!" And make a shooing motion.

But then I spent 10 years teaching Reception, and if I stood passively for every 5 year old monologue, I'd never have got anything done!

I think you over-reacted to the "oh dear!" I've made similar comments to crying children/parents at parks etc before. It's an attempt at sympathy/solidarity. Not an attack on their parenting.

@Liesmorelies you were out of line saying the young child hadn't got the memo.

And no we don't need to intervene every occasion a child has an interaction in front of us. That's one way to raise a child without confidence.

The child was safe. Your issue was you and your son didn't just crack on, no judgement. That's simply what happened. If your son has have ran off to a piece of apparatus and you brought your youngest to a piece she would have probably stepped away or followed your eldest.

She was a child being a child🤷‍♀️

You had the ready made excuse of having DS2 there. You could have said ‘well it’s been nice chatting but I have to watch DS2 as he’s only little. I’m sure you big children can play without me?’ or something. I’m sure she would have got bored of you eventually and then gone off, either with or without DS5

Hmmm sorry but it's not them coming across as crappy. Kids come up to us in the park all the time and chat my lugs off it's what young kids do. Tbh if yours gets upset just because another child talks to you then that's the problem, none of my 3 cry just because a child comes running up and I've heard oh dear a few times with crying toddlers or similar and not once did I think the people saying it were being rude it was more sympathetic towards the crying toddlers parents.

Where are you getting all this information that the op kept moving away from the girl and the girl kept following ? Because that’s not what op said at all. She said she left . She ASSUMED the girl would follow her if she had to try moving . She now wishes she tried a different tactic instead of storming off and making a snide remark to the parents .

Ok I'm sorry to keep this on, but honestly I feel like I'm reading a different thread...

The playground was small in an otherwise empty park. Op has clearly stated this and that any attempt to move around said small playground was simply met by this child following her. Not interacting with her son, not playing on equipment, not running around, not contentedly bored or whatever. Following her around an otherwise empty, small playground that she couldn't leave because of her 2 year old.

So again, I just can't understand why it's entirely on the op to manage this situation and not also partly on the other child's Actual Parents?? Why not just call over or go check in or literally anything, when your kid is clearly bored and (through no fault of her own really as she's a little kid and they all have their ways) disrupting another adult trying to watch her small toddler?

Again, op tried getting the older kids to play so she could just attend to her younger child (as she's done in other situations according to her updates) but this was not happening. She could not leave the playground because of her younger child. The playground was small and the girl just followed her around as they moved around.

So yes I do think her actual parents should have stepped in at some point. It's really not much to expect.

You think the little girl’s parents were in the wrong for giving her the space to play on her own? And for saying “oh, dear” when they saw your son was upset? That sounds like a kind and sympathetic response. And you think your only option was to leave the park because you “strongly felt” that the child would continue trying to talk to you? 🤔

Helicopter parents may feel they are superior to others, but they are actually doing their children no favours whatsoever. It’s important for children of your son’s age to engage in independent play. He also needs to discover that not all children will want to interact with him. He isn’t entitled to another child’s attention simply because that’s what he wants. It’s surprising that he would react so negatively to a child who was more interested in talking to a new and interesting adult. I would have encouraged him to play on his own or with his little brother if the girl wasn’t inclined to join in. (Of course, you weren’t obliged to continue chatting with her either, though it was kind of you to do so for a bit.) Childhood is all about these little moments, learning to navigate the social world. Stepping back and letting children work out how to cope is often the best approach. They can learn so much more about communication and interaction than they ever would by just abandoning the situation entirely. Leaving the park sounds like an overreaction.

I think your comment to them was uncalled for and quite mean. Letting a 5 year old play independently (provided they are supervised and safe) is completely fine- healthy even. It’s also fine for kids to be a bit bored sometimes. Of course that doesn’t mean you ignore them all the time, encouraging independent play is just one part of good parenting, but these parents could have been playing at home with her all morning and needed a break. (Or maybe they weren’t-but you’ve no idea from this very brief interaction!).

If you’d said something like that to me, there are times I’d have shrugged it off, but times when I was feeling a bit low and struggling, I’d have felt awful. You could have encouraged your DS and the little girl to play together, or just answered with ‘mmms’ and focused on your own kids. When DS cried you could have told him - it’s ok, why don’t you and me play X? (And later talked to him about how some kids will talk to him and some won’t and how to manage that). As you were leaving you could have said ‘bye, she’s a sweetheart!’ Or just said nothing at all. Life doesn’t need to be this confrontational!

So she brings the two year old away from the other children. Honestly the poster just sounds bitter.

She couldn't leave the playground though because she has a two year old who needs watching, she's already explained that?

Nobody expected her to do that. They expected her to leave her child in the playground and retreat like 99% of typical parents!

Em, they are a young child .. honestly op you really are scraping the barrel now. Trying to shame a child for being a child 🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely agree with this and I'm honestly a bit baffled at how many people are willfully editing the narrative here despite op explaining many times.

This girl was not playing independently, she was not running around, she was not content. Otherwise she wouldn't have been monopolising the op's attention.

Op tried to get the child involved with her DS so they would hopefully go and play, then she could just attend to her younger child while the older 2 played. But it wasn't happening.

It was a small playground in an empty park. So no option to distract her or move a bit further away.

But apparently it was Her responsibility to manage this child/to be stern or whatever. Not her actual parents. Because... Reasons?

She's a child. What's your excuse?

I do hope this isn't a pop at only kids having crap social skills (not saying it is).I have an only and no way my daughter would do this to another adult. She has me to play with and always makes friends on the park.
If another kid came up to me and started telling me things I'd just think she was cute and chat to her for a bit.
Yes the parents sound a little lazy but you have no idea what is going on there.
And the oh dear might have been meant sympathetically...

I don’t think they were that bad, sounds like your DS’s reaction was odd. Did you really need to leave the park?

They could see the child so she was fine 🤷‍♀️ I expect adults to step away if they want honestly the fuss over nothing.

Child in playground, other child arrived, and if they had have been left to play would probably have been fine.

You can if your child is happy to run off and play happily with a bunch of other five year olds they have never met before, or if they are with other children known to them who are supervising, like older siblings.

But not if your five year olds needs the reassurance and attention of another adult in the playground, who may also wish they could sit chatting to their dh, or may also be tired from looking after elderly parents, but nonetheless is still paying attention to their own child.

It’s not necessary to follow your dc around the apparatus, but to be aware of what’s going on and who their child is interacting with. That’s surely a basic necessity for safety anyway’?

Do we have to be "great" all the time? Can't we just have an hour here or there, where we sit on a bench and chat with our husband who we probably barely get any time with around work/childcare/caring for elderly parents etc. whilst our 5 year old has the run of a playground? And you think other people are the smug ones...

Yes well maybe some of us don’t feel comfortable ignoring a child who is already being ignored by their family.

Edited to add:
And btw this is exactly the attitude I detest; putting the fault on the obliging stranger and not the parents of the child who should be taking responsibility for their own offspring.

It’s perfectly simple: apart from brief spontaneous interactions, don’t let your child monopolise the time of another parent without checking in.