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AIBU?

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My 11 year old son hates me and won't talk to me. Will it ever get better?

59 replies

Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:02

He was always the sweetest boy. Very close with me and loving. When dh was in hospital with a life threatening illness over a month, ds became detached from me and this has escalated to him calling me a bitch, cunt etc and not allowing me to look at him or talk to him. It is such an extreme change I am suffering from guilt, trauma and feel like I'm missing g something. I have never punished him and repeatedly tell him that I love him unconditionally but this just makes him more angry. I don't know what to do and it's affecting me so badly. I just want my happy, sweet boy back. I want him to be happy more than anything and worry something else is going on.

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Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:13

I have been told I am his safe space

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Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:12

He has always been so Incredibly sweet and loving. He's also treating his younger brother in the same way whereas they used to play nicely

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Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:11

Thank you all for being so supportive and not telling me to punish him. It feels like his behaviour is out of his own control.

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GridlockonMain · 29/11/2024 20:10

It sounds like he is dealing with trauma relating to his dad’s illness. He might be lashing out at you because he can’t process the feelings and you’re his safe space. I would see if you can find a child therapist who can help him with through these feelings in a safe and healthy way.

I hope things improve for you all soon ♥️

Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:10

I have a very tight reign on his phone use. He was never really close to dh (his dad) until he came back from hospital. This is the o e wonderful thing g to come out of it all.

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seriouslynonames · 29/11/2024 20:09

Agree with PP some therapy sounds like it might be needed. Is it a trauma response to the worry about his dad being so ill? Might he be pushing you away in fear he might lose you through illness? Could be all sorts going on in his head that only a professional can unpick. I hope you can access some help for you both, good luck

Canonical · 29/11/2024 20:08

@Nespressso He moved up to high school at the same time his dad was critically lll in ITU. They have started something called the humonclui intervention. He is an angel at school and for any other adults.

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takealettermsjones · 29/11/2024 20:08

I would share your worry that something else is going on OP. What happened during that month - were you occupied with looking after DH, was DS looked after by someone else? New crowd? Check his internet history maybe?

Nespressso · 29/11/2024 20:06

I think family therapy would be useful. Can he access something through school?