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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a question about your parents if they have passed away?

37 replies

girlfriend44 · 29/11/2024 19:46

I was just wondering if your parents are no longer alive, do any of their friends keep in touch with you?

Did you know your parents friends very well?
Did you keep in touch? Do you invite them to events?
My answer is no it never happened.

Mr Girlfriend 44s mums best friend kept in touch for a while after his mum died and was invited to a family christening.
It all fizzled out though and she probably isn't alive herself now.

OP posts:
GelatinousDynamo · 29/11/2024 20:27

My mum's friends kept in touch. Some of it fizzled out but I still speak regularly with two of them and my dad invited them and their families for Christmas this year... But they were always more of a family to us than some of our relatives, I called them both "aunt" as a kid.

My mom's sister, on the other hand, has broken off all contact

CruCru · 29/11/2024 20:22

My dad died a couple of years ago. A friend of his came to the funeral and we keep in touch on FB (his wife also taught me History at school).

Comedycook · 29/11/2024 20:18

No they don't

Dontcallmescarface · 29/11/2024 20:15

I lost both parents in 2020. Mum's best friend still gets in touch every few months but I see dad's closet friend quite a bit as he lives just across the road from me.

FergussSingsTheBlues · 29/11/2024 20:12

Yes, my mums best friends and siblings have been massively supportive towards us. I hope we always stay close; we were relatively distant before just due to having our own lives but I think we find each other a source of comfort.

ChaosHol1 · 29/11/2024 20:12

girlfriend44 · 29/11/2024 19:46

I was just wondering if your parents are no longer alive, do any of their friends keep in touch with you?

Did you know your parents friends very well?
Did you keep in touch? Do you invite them to events?
My answer is no it never happened.

Mr Girlfriend 44s mums best friend kept in touch for a while after his mum died and was invited to a family christening.
It all fizzled out though and she probably isn't alive herself now.

Yeah some of my mums friends still message me regularly a year later to check in on me. I never met up with them lots as an adult but they've known me since I was born and I was around them when young alot. I've not had any events since she died to invite them to.

givemeaminuteplease · 29/11/2024 20:10

Vaguely, a few of them use Facebook and one in particular always comments and ‘loves’ it if I put a photo up which is lovely. But generally no.

FelixtheAardvark · 29/11/2024 20:10

My mother died nearly 40 years ago and my father 12 years ago.

None of their friends keep in touch and TBH I wouldn't expect them to.

Greywarden · 29/11/2024 20:09

Lost my mum a few years ago - she was only late fifties. I'm still in touch with a small number of her friends. Mostly not in touch frequently but for special occasions and I chose to invite a few of them to my wedding to sort of represent her.

EBearhug · 29/11/2024 20:09

Yes, but they are also parents of my schoolfriends and almost like second parents to me. I caught up with 3 lots of them in person earlier in the year, onclyding staying over with one couple. I was thinking about Christmas cards to them earlier today. If I were to get married (unlikely, I'm in my 50s now,) they'd definitely be on the guest list.

TimeForBedSaidZebadee · 29/11/2024 19:56

My mum died this year age 90, her best friend of 60 years keeps in touch and checks in every couple of weeks. It's nice to chat about mum with someone who knew her so well.

PinkiOcelot · 29/11/2024 19:50

I lost my dad 32 years ago in his early 60s so all of his friends were around that age. None of them kept in touch with my mam.

I lost my mam last year aged 93. I think her friends had passed away themselves by that point.