To be a bit annoyed to be told to ‘be the parent’?

Yes but your youngest's needs should also be considered and spoken about with your eldest, it shouldn't just be one way, like the baby is an irritation, the eldest needs to emphasise with them and understand that it isn't all about them as otherwise they will acquire a Little Lord complex!

That's just stupid. She won't always be 18 months old. It's a pragmatic and entirely reasonable decision to take!

Just avoid situations that you know will be challenging but be resolute when she acts up in ones you can't!

Any transition period with a toddler is challenging. When they hate the pushchair, when they go into a bed and find what fun it is to get in and out and in and out and when they give up the afternoon nap ( which is the worst imo)

The person who suggested the pull along cart - brilliant idea. I see lots of kids in these at car boots and there’s never one whining. Perhaps you could borrow one to try out?

Hahah school… if she can’t get them in a pushchair she won’t be certainly won’t be getting them in to school 🤣

Her friend is a teacher, she probably sees parents like this shooing a child along at 9.25 every morning and then complaining they “just can’t get in on time”

Is she being arsey about it because she wants you there and doesn't see your reason as ok. Would she still have a problem if you said you don't fancy it yourself this year?

“I don’t like your tone”

Where do you think we are? School?? 🤣

You realise those two three year olds and a four year old were also once 18 months and some people still managed to go out then.

You have options which accomodate you and the child

Let them walk
Get a side carrying sling
Pick them up
Dont go

And learn that just because some people have different experiences to you doesn’t mean they are boasting or trying to out do you.

Your tone is shitty anyway, I’m with your mate 🤣

I had one of each OP! My eldest loved sitting looking out of the car windows on long drives, loved going in a backpack carrier on walks, and would happily sit in a high chair whilst we had leisurely lunches. My second spoke early and I think their spoken first phrase was 'want to get out'!😁

My son is 21 months, he hates his pram but he doesn’t get a choice about whether he wants to go in it. He has an older brother and I’m not having him miss out on doing things because of his younger brother not liking the pram. I get him out of the pram at intervals for a break but he goes back in when I need him to. Maybe if he was an only child I’d just not bother going to stuff (although I doubt it).

My friend also have a 18 month old who hates the pram, they use a backpack carrier for her as she tolerates that better but again they don’t miss out on stuff just because she won’t go in the pram (but also have a older child so again they don’t want the eldest to miss out).

Not unreasonsble

although your friend is right, you just have to be the parent a lot of the time because you have no choice, if it’s supposed to be a nice day out and you know your toddler is going to miserable for two hours straight then why bother. I think some people don’t believe a kid can keep up a tantrum for that long. My first really, really hated the car seat and she used to scream her head off. She could keep it up for a really long time. I didn’t rush to travel anywhere I didn’t need to, for months until she grew out of that.

Mine both hated pushchairs, car seats, cots etc. so I adapted accordingly by not putting us all through the stress of certain days out unless I knew we'd enjoy them. They're both very well-behaved primary aged children now who are most definitely not the bosses in our house 😂

I agree with choosing your battles. Too many parents force young children to attend (often "Instagram-worthy") overblown and expensive events at this time of year when everyone's just having a crap time.

Whether she’s right or wrong I wouldn’t appreciate a friend speaking to me like that.

You ignore whinging etc and just get on with the day there, children learn very quickly if they have a parent that never gives in to them for an easy life

Or, you teach them that mummy and daddy don’t care about their feelings and preferences. You must know some super smart 18 month olds that can cry to manipulate a situation and stop when they realise their plans aren’t working. 18 month old DS2 must be stupid. If he’s crying he doesn’t stop until he’s comforted.

I wrote this first, then commented again because you seemed to round on like @Ladyj84 who can manage multiples.

i was showing you options like slings and letting the kid walk once in a while.

I still don't have that type a decade later. They like going out to eat... they don't see the point in pfolonged lingering especially after finishing eating. As a result we are selective about where we go to places with a faster turn around.
We stopped eating out with DS1 between 18m to about 3. Well to anywhere more ambitious than a cafe.

There are ND/ sensory issues in our equation but the point remains at why do something non-essential if it won't be pleasurable.

If it's something like an extended family catch-up, they cope better because of the cousin entertainment factor, so they meet what is required of them, and we're not suffering because we keep in a comfort zone of the likes of Nandos or carveries that is their comfort zone when it's just immediate family.

Best answer

She's trying to be a motivational poster or something!
Honestly it's up to you so as the parent you decide what's best for your family as a whole. No two families are the same so as long as you're being the best version of yourself then that's job done.
However if it's stressing you out that you're missing out on all the things you want to do because of this, maybe it's time to get more forceful, but the misapprehension I had was that weekends were for going out and doing proper things with the kids, but actually they are for doing whatever suits us even if it's sitting at home recovering!
Take care and trust yourself.

I posted in answer to you saying age changes things.

I don’t like your tone if I’m honest so - no worries, stay home and cry in to your cornflakes because you can’t work a pushchair then, no need to be rude.

It’s not my fault I lived in central London and still went out. I’m saying don’t go if you don’t want to. And FYI you can’t name change once you’ve posted once already.

Completely depends on the child and at 18 months most people have no idea if their child is neurotypical or not. You do what suits you and your child and ignore the snide comments.