Inheritance dispute with husband

I think this is a good idea. Don't let him browbeat you into anything. He needs a good boot up the arse, and that's just for starters!!

He does not wish it were equal. He wants his money and yours. You should tell him thinking your salary is yours and my inheritance is ours is the opposite of how the law thinks. Frankly it’s mine, you don’t share equally so you have a bloody cheek expecting me to. If you were a pool the money type person then I’d happily chuck it in the pot but you’re not. You’re the ‘I deserve more money because I work more which I can do since my wife looks after our children more but that doesn’t count to me’ and since you are that way then no I won’t share my inheritance.

Why use percentages though? It will always mean one person has more money in their individual account than the other. Why not just agree that each person should keep a fixed amount back from their wages each month and all the rest of the wages go into a joint account? OP could also add the 300 each month to the joint. No recalculation required.

£40k of your inheritance seems "beholden" to me!!

Geez he's actually quite unbelievable. I'm just about to inherit from my mum and my dh keeps saying repeatedly I've not to put it in the house and use it for myself as its my money and I cared for my mum. Il be buying a new kitchen (it isn't as much as yours) but your husband seems very grabby and opinionated over your inheritance and what you do with it. Do whatever you want to do.

How do your pension funds compare? Is your pot equal to his? If not you should seriously consider using the inheritance to top up your fund.

Grasping bastard! Why does he think he should have more money than you?!!

I’d be keeping the £80k and put it in a highest interest account you can - that’s your money and even at 4.25 % you’d see £283 per month income. Along with the rental income at £300 ( which sounds particularly low) you’d have £583 extra income.

now as you’re grieving and that’s something to bear in mind. I’d not rush into doing anything with the money for 12 months, give you time to consider your options.

n that time you’ll have another £6k+

sorry you lost your relatives, but think how happy they’d be know it made your life easier financially

It does if she wants it to. Just as he can keep his wages there's nothing to stop her keeping the inheritance.

@icantwaitforsummer I think you need to have a bigger conversation about money, retirement etc.

• will your DH get an inheritance? If so what would he do with it?
• what are your respective pension pots/incomes forecast to be? What will be your expenses? How do you plan to fund your retirements?
• If you invest the money, you haven’t lost it or not shared it you have used it to generate income. There are some long term savings accounts where you can block the money away for2,3,5 years. This gives you time to think.
• Drip feeding £20k into ISAs is a good idea, again they can be long term

Because OP said they currently put in the account a percentage of their wages (split fairly based on what they earn). So they could add the £300 a month to OPs wage and recalculate.
I don’t mean split 50/50 more like 70/30 or whatever makes it fair so they have the same amount of disposable income in personal accounts

And can I just say that I inherited 70k and I put it all on the mortgage. BUT my DH pays all of the mortgage payments out of his wages, and all household bills, all food bills, all child related costs. Any money left over from my part time wages or his as the higher earner is OUR money and we can both access it etc. It's not even divided
I was happy to put all of my inheritance into the pot as he puts ALL of his money into the pot.
In your situation there's no way I'd be putting my inheritance into something in his name. It just wouldn't be fair or safe at all.

I was in a similar situation with a similar level of inheritance last year but with a DH with zero interest (no pun intended) in it. He's not money-motivated at all whereas I'm an accountant and personal finance is a hobby.
I paid off his £16k student loan with his permission and then he changed the Direct Debit amount to his stocks and shares ISA to increase by the same amount the student loan had been. A chunk of the rest went to maxing out both of our stocks and shares ISAs for our future retirement and the rest went in premium bonds for house projects and self insurance for my horses (I may have also bought DD a new pony as hers needed to retire).
I was looking to optimise our finances for the future and would not have been nearly so freely handing over £30k of a £90k inheritance if he'd had his eye on it.

Doesn’t work like that.

I honestly would put the money safely away for now and let life continue as it is. Work through your grief. You lost you mum! He is pressuring you into committing to something that fully suits him and not taking into account your prospective

I think you also need to seriously ask yourself what he would do with this money if it was his inheritance.

Lock it away for now. Till you are in a place where you can think more clearly xx

It utterly disgusts me when people try and steal from the dead. Your family members left the inheritance to YOU not him. He sounds very grabby. However beware if you divorced the inheritance wouldn’t be ring-fenced and he’d likely get a sum of it.
One reason why I will never marry again!

Will your DH inherit anything and have you both talked about his plans for that?

The other 80k share with my husband, he wants to buy an old flat, and we do it up as a 'project'. And use any money we make to overpay mortgage. But he also thinks the £300 a month should pay off more of our mortgage in overpayments or go into the joint account each month and reduce his contributions.

If he wants you both to buy a flat then he needs to match whatever you're contributing. If the flat is £80k then you pay £40k out of your inheritance and he matches that from his savings that he's kept for himself.

If he wants you to pay £300 towards the mortgage every month, then he also needs to match that.

It’s not selfish at all. Everyone does bills and finances differently. My DH earns far more than me, and he’s incredibly “traditional” when it comes to bills. So we agreed he pays all the bills and I pay for food, school stuff (back when DC was still in school) and the pets. This way we both have similar amounts left at the end of the month so our individual savings (although we class them as joint, we have pits in our own names) are also about equal.
Our income is viewed as joint so if his wage is bigger, he pays out more. We class “fair” as both having a similar amount left AFTER bills.
I’ve noticed more modern couples do it the way you do, so it seems to be becoming the norm now

And it's her money.

Why percentages? How is a percentage of wages fair if it means the higher earner always has much more in their personal bank account?

You either agree to share everything ie income, inheritance, savings etc or you agree you are financially separate.
Your dh can’t expect you to pay all of your income in so that he gets to save some of his, that’s completely unreasonable.

Perhaps this inheritance will be a way to discuss your financial commitments to each other.

Also, don't buy any promises. You put money into the house, you cannot undo that. He could stop overpaying after one month and there's nothing you could do.

I assume your dh has slept well whilst he's had more spending money than you every month.
Honestly I would give him £10k and keep the rest.
I'd like to bet he wouldn't share 80k if it was his inheritance.

I never get why people only put a percentage of their salary into the joint account particularly if they have children and one person has lower earning power as a consequence. It means one person has more money in their individual bank account than the other which is not fair. If he's been happy to have more than you in his personal bank account for all these years why should you share your inheritance ?