Inheritance dispute with husband

Given his general attitude to family money I'd be keeping the lot.

Telling him to shove it as it's yours is optional.

That would be a no from me, for both.

It is your money.

My DH thinks when I inherit my parents house I am going to put it in both our names, he has always said that. He is in for a shock. It will go in my name and then inherited by my children (we don't have children together).

When I had an inheritance I paid off the mortgage, bought my mum a new(er) car and some new furniture.

So I split it over things that benefited the family and the rest was mine.

I do think paying off the mortgage should be a priority - it is liberating - but that is my opinion.

As I said, your money, your choice. Not his. H

Actually it's even worse than that!

He's not even just keeping his own, he wants to use your extra income to supliment his personal spending!

He wants you to share your extra cash at the end of each month while keeping his extra cash for himself.

Nope.

I was going to say:

So when whe was bringing in more he wanted seperate, now you're bringing in more he want's to make money joint

But then i realaied it's worse than that!

Now you're bringing in more he wants your money to be shared and still keep his seperate!

He's taking the piss!

Actually @arethereanyleftatall should be your takeaway from this. Well said. Just repeat this with your face open and interested (so avoiding passive aggression- which I wouldn’t be able to do. Good luck!)

I agree with PP.

Don't just keep a little bit for you, when he keeps all of his money for himself and has lots more than you.

When you have children together, but want to have separate accounts, I think the only fair way is to make sure you both have the same amount left over each month.

If he earns more than you, does he pay any more towards bills etc. or does he keep all the extra for himself?

If he pays more, then I think he has a point about you paying down the mortgage or similar with some of the money. I also think it’s sensible for you to keep some of the money for yourself.

If he keeps all his extra money for himself then I think you’d be foolish to put any of your inheritance into shared assets. Keep it all separate, don’t pay down the mortgage etc. Don’t use any of the income from the rental for joint things over your share. Inheritance isn’t necessarily seen as a marital asset unless it’s used in a way to make it one. See a solicitor to make sure you do the most you can to keep it separate.

This.

He's being incredibly selfish.

Stick with your plan OP.

Are both your names on the mortgage, do you both pay the same amount each month. I would add up the figures first and see how much better a month off he is, then ring fence the same amount for you so you are equal. Then decide what to do with the surplus.
In the end though, it is your money, your choice although if you divorced he could make a claim on it.

Whatever you decide, make sure there’s an amount easily accessible for the upkeep of the rental flat. However, I do think your plan is best (especially if you are still going with his idea of a renovation project). I also think he’s a little insensitive, given the bittersweet nature of the inheritance. Sorry about your bad year, hope things improve.

Lovely idea to gift to your daughter in 15 years time. However please don't get caught out, when you gift the property to your daughter there will be Capital Gains Tax to pay. The difference from the value you inherited it at (the value used for probate) and the value when you gift it to your daughter. No different gifting it from selling it to in the future.

I think your plan is great. Personally, I'd pay the £300 into a private pension. Although, stocks and shares also works.

I think putting the 80k into a buy to left property in both your names is very generous. Alternatively, you could pay 80k of your existing mortgage.

I'm due a £250k inheritance and I won't be investing in anything unless my husband signs a postnup. My parents didn't work their whole life for him to get my inheritance. It's my security and my children's security.

This.

Both make overpayments or no one does. He is being selfish and him even suggesting it indicates he is aware of the inequity of it and is used to taking you for a ride.

I am sorry for your losses. That is incredibly hard.
buying a flat seems reasonable under the circumstances. But by all means ringfence your deposit if at all possible.

So many posts like this on mumsnet. Literally don’t understand couples who are married and have kids yet don’t share finances equally.

How did you not just laugh in his face and say 'so to get this straight. For x amount of years you have had more money than me and we haven't shared it like normal families do. But now that I have more money, you would like to share it? Well, no. '

So he has more money every month, including, one assumes, more money to save and yet he wants you to continue to have less money, including less money to save?

he's a prince, isn't he?

You should both make overpayments into the mortgage or both use your extra money for your own savings. If the lump sum is enough to pay off the mortgage with no penalties then I would consider doing that if your DH puts an equal sum into joint savings over a short period of time. If mortgage has a low interest rate then probably worth keeping it and saving as you suggested.

Mortgages are the lowest interest big value loans you can get, so as an investment your plan of buying a flat with the 80k is better. The only reason to pay off your mortgage now is if there's any worry of losing jobs or having to sell your current house if your finances all went wrong. It doesn't sound like that's likely though given your jobs and the other flat.
DH does sound unfair - unless there's any prospect of you splitting up then why would he worry about your windfall when he was happy with his higher earnings up till now?

Either you share all your money or you don't! He can't have it both ways.

Such decisions are so personal, and there is so much variation in couples' attitudes to finances that I think it is something you can only work out between yourselves. Personally I would invest the 80k for DC's house deposit in future.
And no way would I be buying a flat to do up! When you have DC it is a shame to spend precious family time on renovations, especially for a place you do not live in.

Your plan is better. You need a pension too. It’s better for you both if you also gave a pension- spreads the risk and us. Etter tax-wise. Also, pension should grow at a faster rate of return on average than your mortgage interest.

Where does he think you will both be in 10 years? What is his vision of the future?

What’s his justification for whats his is his and what’s your is his?

the fact that you are questioning whether this is h fair (IT IS) this suggests to me that there is a very unhealthy power dynamic in your relationship