To sack my cleaner?

You clearly don't have fibromyalgia or another fatigue causing disease.

Yes, you can push through the pain and exhaustion. Until in very short order, you give yourself such a terrible flare up that you can't even make a meal or wash and dress yourself.

Do you genuinely believe people should be pushing themselves to the point of being unable to care for their basic needs? Or did you just not get it and you thought fibromyalgia was akin to having a bit of a headache?

I would sack her, there are so many great and reliable cleaners out there. Go for an agency for reliability because they'll send a replacment cleaner.

I think you need to have a conversation with her first. Just sacking her straight away is not fair. imagine if someone did that to you at your job without telling you that there was a problem first. Anyway I hope you get it all resolved :)

I think this is common that many people want a lot of cleaning for a little money. Cleaning is hard work and some peoples houses are really grubby or they want an extra job added on, or it starts with an unmade bed or a few dishes in the sink and snowballs.

This

I’m kind of in the same boat, my cleaner changes days almost every week. It’s really annoying as you rely on the cleaner to do the cleaning but if you have guests etc. then you have to do it yourself so it’s pointless her coming. Also really difficult to make the decision when the cleaner has personal problems, mine has kids with SN and her life sounds really difficult and I know she relies on the money. But it’s also not unreasonable to expect someone doing a service to be reliable as you fit around them. Sorry no advice, just empathy!

@Binman

It was the ones who expected more than they paid for that I used to cancel. I did it the last few months and decided to quit - I actually think I was depressed

I had this and had a cancel rate of around 50%. It was so hard because I had two small children and was going out for the day (planned so they could clean!) and then family arriving and the house was filthy. So I ended up cleaning all night.
it just wasn’t working for us. If I had known they would cancel I would have done cleaning little and often throughout the week so the house was fairly cleanish. It just seemed pointless

7/12 is too often,she doesn't want to come.You can either get to the bottom of why this is or you can find someone more reliable.I would be going for the second option.

I’ve just changed cleaner for this reason; I feel bad but so often she’s cancelled the morning of the day she’s supposed to come and i haven’t factored in the time to clean myself and irs caused me more stress than not having her at all.

When she cancels, does she reschedule? Do you pay her even though she doesn't come? I think there are a few details that might slightly shift the advice but overall, I'd suggest talking to her first. Tell her you're really struggling with the unreliabiltiy but you do want to be supportive and ask her if she has suggestions on what might be a better system? Should you change the days she comes, for example? Or swap to weekly, but for a shorter time each time. Or perhaps at the start of each week she looks at how things are and then tells you when she can come. Be prepared to make the point that in six months she's cancelled/rescheduled at short notice 7/12 times which is why you're raising it - it's the frequency, not the fact that she needs to do it.

It may vary from individual to individual, but for many people with fibromyalgia and associated/similar conditions, it isn't just a case of working through pain and tiredness - if that pain and tiredness are so severe that they utterly floor you and just leave you pretty much unable to even move.

Fair enough, if somebody's health and/or disability mean that they can't work as hard and/or reliably as you want/need them to - you can make the decision to hire a healthier or able-bodied person if you prefer.

But this is a huge, lifelong issue for those of us who can't simply decide to ignore the disabilities that we have no choice but to live with.

We are often told that we're lazy if we can't meet the same work standards and hours as healthy and able-bodied people; but we're also told that we should at least work when we can - and regularly shamed by politicians calling us scroungng idlers - with no recognition or acceptance that it isn't something that we can simply plan ahead for and schedule when we'll be well, or for how long or short a period.

I get that it's deeply annoying for people who don't want a 'sub-standard' worker; but either way, it's a lose for us. I'm very lucky in that I have a very flexible part-time WFH job, where I can 'make hay whilst the sun shines' with my health; but not everybody is that fortunate.

@Thepurplepig If she has something like fibromyalgia I’d sack her. You can work through pain and tiredness. It’s no excuse.

wtf fibromyalgia is no excuse not to clean? What's your excuse on not understanding fibromyalgia?

@loveydoveyloon and this is how cleaners get a bad name.

Some cleaners are expected to do way more than just clean and also expected to do a whole lot more than is reasonable. Bad habits can creep in on both sides and it can be very hard for either person to say, actually you are taking the piss.

@BigLittleRedOne how long since you sat down with your cleaner and reviewed their workload and pay?

I have had this and I go between her and another cleaners

OMG. I think you might have my cleaner! I've never known anyone have as many health issues/family health issues/crises.

I kept her on for a very long time, despite her cancelling about 50% of the time, because she was lovely, trustworthy and generally helpful. But it got ridiculous and my goodwill deserted me when she cancelled the day before I had a big family event at my house.

I now have a reliable cleaner.

i was a self employed cleaner for a while, just before I gave it up I got fed up and i would earn what i needed for the week and cancel other cleans - I know this is bad and that's why I finished doing the cleaning but maybe she just can't be bothered anymore.

I would speak to her and see if there is something else going on and if she can't give you a valid reason then give her notice.

Have you ever given her a clear „warning“ / told her that this is a massive inconvenience and can’t continue?

or is she under the impression that you’re perfectly happy and satisfied with her performance?

Does she outright cancel or rearrange? Does she cancel her other clients too?

You say you have messy kids and pets. Does she come and clean a tidy house or does she have to tidy, or is it particularly grim after 2 weeks?

Have you considered that she has too much to do and that she is hoping to be let go but because you have a long time relationship she feels as awkward as you do?

My cleaner is self employed and she is clear in her T&C's that she will not tidy, she cleans for a set number of hours. If I wanted her to do something extra she wouldn't complete her usual routine. If she has ever cancelled she has offered to rearrange or find cover.

Anyone can cancel once but 7 out of 12 she either doesn't want you as a client or she needs to rethink her business commitments.

It depends really what her health conditions are. If she has cancer or her family have horrific conditions that require her immediate attention then you are being a little cruel.

If she has something like fibromyalgia I’d sack her. You can work through pain and tiredness. It’s no excuse.

Not sure I've ever seen so many ppl in agreement on mumsnet!
Find yourself a new cleaner

Can you mention to her that reliability is an issue and ask her if she could focus on that. I had a cleaner who would randomly turn up at my house rather than the agreed time and day, for example on Tuesday at 10.00 rather than 3pm, I felt she was just doing what suited her. I am not saying the same applies to your cleaner but she would have any work at all if she cancelled everyone.

The trouble is I feel a loyalty to her

Why? She’s not reliable enough for you, you don’t have to feel loyalty to someone because they are a nice person. You need a job doing and she isn’t reliable enough to do this job. Sack her and get another or if you wanted to you could have a chat first give her a last chance. Let her now how she’s let you down this weekend and it’s an inconvenience so unfortunately if it happens again she’ll have to be let go

I think you need to separate your feelings here. She can no longer offer reliability. That is unfortunate but it is not your concern.

When she cancels, does she come the next week or not for another 2 weeks?
could you maybe get another cleaner in fortnightly and use her for deep cleans or ad hoc?

Fair enough to sack her but I think you should give her a months notice so you'll continue using her services until after Christmas. I'm also a wimp so if I were you I'd say your financial situation has changed and you can no longer afford a cleaner - but thanks for all the years etc.