To sack my cleaner?

Goodness. I've got a cleaner. She doesn't touch the tops of books or ornaments or run her long handled duster over wardrobe tops etc.

She's not been for a few weeks as I'm having some building work but I was doing a better job myself periodically. She's better at bathroom cleaning than me though :-( I really need to let her go and just do it myself.

Oh wow, this thread took a dark turn with competitive stoicism and name-calling 🙄. Get another cleaner if yours isn't reliable, it's the sensible option. Lots of suggestions on this thread about how to let her go gently.

Ok you’re more interested in griping about another poster..

Nothing. She could have said that she works through it without saying it was lazy not to.

What’s that got to do with working through an extreme disability?

His advice to other disabled people was: “concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you doing well, and don't regret the things it interferes with. Don't be disabled in spirit, as well as physically.”

I don't remember Stephen Hawking calling any disabled people lazy.

Is that what Stephen Hawking was doing? It’s not usual to continue working with MND. People make different choices..

There's definitely something odd going on there. It's not usual to drag yourself across your office because you can't walk lest you become a crybaby lazybones.

There's some ingrained lack of empathy for herself, let alone others. I think my comment was fair.

She probably prioritises her weekly clients over her fortnightly ones when she needs to take time off, so her biggest loyalty isn’t with you. You don’t need to feel guilty.

WTF? 🤬

I did not. I spoke of degenerative disease in general.

Ironically you’re telling @Thepurplepig how her disease works - “clearly isn’t that bad” - while preaching about empathy.

OP it doesn't matter why you want a cleaner.
If you can afford it there is no rule that says you can't have a cleaner if you could do it yourself! Whether other posters are too ill to clean or view having a cleaner as lazy is not what the thread is about.

Being a cleaner is a perfectly respectable occupation which can fit in with childcare. Find another.

Hm I reckon it's an issue with your self image, from what you've posted.

Not being able to do things because you have a disease is not being a whinny baby. Who told you that?

If you like her and have been using her a long time I would probably have a chat with her first and warn her that you will have to find someone else if she continues to be unreliable

I think in your shoes OP, I would have a chat with her, and tell her that you really don't want to let her go, but bearing in mind the number of times she's let you down over recent weeks, does she perhaps have a friend who would be interested in filling in for her when she's not well. You might find that this is the answer to her problems and yours.

Or maybe I’m just not a whinny baby who will sit on my arse at any given excuse. I shuffled myself across my office this afternoon because I can’t physically put my foot down on the floor at the moment and there was nobody here to get me what I needed. I absolutely know what horrendous pain is.

I would talk to her first and say that they frequency of cancellations is becoming a problem and you need greater reliability. I would start by asking her to reschedule within the same week for every cancellation, or at least the week after as she comes to you fortnightly. If that doesn't work, I'd give her a month's notice.

I don't think anyone is deliberately trying to offend you, but it clearly isn't that bad if you can both continue to work and also have no understanding of why others can't work.

Unless it's an issue with being able to empathise with other people, you can't possibly have been in significant enough pain to realise how bad these diseases can get.

I've not read the full thread so perhaps others have suggested this but if you really want to keep her explain the situation and ask her to find a reliable back up to come when se can't. I do weekend gardening work. But since an injury, I can sometimes be unable to work at short notice. I have explained this to clients and have introduced them to my back up. If I need to send her in my place, I let them know. Could that be an option?

No I haven’t. I’ve been waiting for the higher dose one to go on sale. It’s down to £750 today so I’ve bought it. Never been so excited about a bloody blanket

How fucking dare you say I’ve never been that bad. You don’t know me. How do you know what I’ve done. When you’ve spent a day with me and seen what I go through to get things done then you can have an opinion.

And I don’t have to clean my big ass house because I go out and make the effort to earn money so I don’t have to do the things I find mind numbingly boring. I didn’t clean it when I ran marathons for fun.. I’m not going to start now.

You don't need to tell me how my disease works. Yes, it's important not to be entirely sedentary. Telling myself that I'm imagining that my joints are fucked and continuing to push myself until I get to the point I'm in A&E at 4am crying and shaking with the pain and begging someone to give me anything to make it stop will not do me any good. And yes, that has happened to me before after what would be relatively little exertion for a healthy person.

If someone else with arthritis wants to spend their life miserable because they think being unwell is a moral failing, they can have at it. I will absolutely not be taking advice from anyone with that mindset though. As far as I'm concerned, it's utterly stupid to continually push yourself into damaging flare ups.

I should also point out that watching TV because you can't use your body to do anything else really isn't that fun.

If she is good at cleaning (just unreliable) I would firstly say to her that you need her to be on time and regular. Point out that you rely on her and need her - if she can't keep to a fortnightly (or whatever) schedule you'll need to find someone else. Then if she is still unreliable after 2 months I'd say sorry it's not working and change her.

I suggest this because it's actually really hard to find a good cleaner! My regular left through ill health recently (her choice) but finding a good cleaner is difficult!

I would say that all her recent cancellations have made you realise you can keep on top of it yourself (even if that's not true) so you won't be needing her after Christmas.

But why aren't you cleaning your own home, then? No excuses, just work through the pain, use a bit of willpower instead of being lazy and paying somebody else to do it for you.

I have a whole alphabet of conditions, too. Biologics are great but they can't fix the mechanical and the bastarding anaemia and deficiencies from one of the autoimmune ones also bugger me up.

I can go from remission/minor irritating pain after jogging and a whole 5 hours of sleep a night to unable to hold an empty cup or open a tampon wrapper. There's a clear difference between the two that you aren't appreciating because you've never actually been that bad.

It's absolutely possibly to be unable to do a cleaning job or any other work. Why echo the bollocks we get from those who have no idea?