Husband attended year end function without me even though I was invited

After reading her thread from last month, she’s right.

Is it steam engines?
Having a baby is such a big thing. Any chance other men, different generations and professions,are trotting out all the cliches.
Outside of work, committees can quickly sink back to old school attitudes and 'humour'.
So has he heard a lot of ball and chain, you won't be allowed out now, got you changing nappies type comments.
A strong man will push back with the humour that is required, a weak man goes quiet, self doubts, gets defensive and you get the brunt of it.
Not acceptable. You can have a understanding 'has becoming a father become difficult to get your head round' conversation. If that doesn't go well, get planning for how you want your future to look.

I’ve just read your other thread from last month.

OP, you have bigger issues than last night’s function. You have no marriage and you need to be planning your exit.

Oh god yet another shitty man. I’m so sorry OP.

Me too.

Wow, I can't believe anyone would do this, I am guessing you are thirties and he must be 60 plus to have such and old fashioned attitude. Looking at previous posts I do wonder if there is someone there who has caught his eye?

Something is going on with someone else on the committee. The causing arguments before is him gaslighting you, make him feel less guilty like he is doing nothing wrong.

You say some of the other committee members have become friends. Is there one you can confide in and tell them what's been happening and if they have noticed a change in him?

Sorry, I also suspect an affair, or he fancies someone on the committee.

Whatever the weather, he's a sexist prick. He thinks your sole role in life is to be a mother and a wife. You are now not entitled to have a life outside the home and he's unilaterally making decisions for you.

You need to have very serious chat about what life's going to look like moving forward because I wouldn't tolerate that shit.

If your not working I think you need to go back to work. I would also arrange to do something outside the home regularly and leave him to parent his child.

How so?
OP is living with a man who is cutting her out of his life under the guise of her needing to be "a mother". He unilaterally makes decisions about the family because he is the "real man" and leaving her behind. He is lying to her and doesn't include her in joint decisions. He is giving her the silent treatment and cutting all communications because he as a "big strong man" has the right to socialise without being disturbed by his "little wifey". And he hasn't even got emotional intelligence and maturity to have a calm discussion about it.

This is either complete lack of love and care or a massively uncomfortable view of the world. If it was the latter, his sexist views would have been picked up by the OP throughout their relationship. If it is the former, it is not like he is going to wake up one day and realise that he does love and respect his wife after all.

Whichever way you look at it, the relationship is finished. Unless, of course, the OP likes being married to an misogynist who doesn't respect her. But it doesn't sound as though she does.

Cherchez la femme.

Do you know and trust any of the other married women who attended, who you could call to talk about what went on last night?

It seems pretty obvious something is going on. I'm so sorry.

Your husband has behaved like an absolute dick, and it sounds like he has very little respect for you.

I'd be absolutely livid.
Please don't lose your anger. It's completely justified. He needs to know he cannot get away with behaving like this.

That's what a mother should do??? Who does he think he is talking to?

And I'm sorry OP but the silent treatment is just the cherry on top that tells me this relationship is in serious trouble. You can't honestly want to continue a relationship with someone who values you so little?

Has he been missing these meetings and will be asked about his attendance and doesn’t want you there to hear that?
When people are lying they’ll go to any lengths possible.
I’ll bet he’s been telling them he’s been missing meetings because of your LO and really been up to no good OP, sorry but he sounds awful

I would very strongly suspect he’s having an affair with someone on the committee or someone who attends the committee events.

Your husband is absolutely vile. He doesn’t respect you at all. I can’t believe 5% people have voted that you’re unreasonable. Is he kind to you in any other ways op?

Unfortunately, some men show their true colours when their partners are at a vulnerable stage in the relationship (with a young baby) and are less likely to leave them.

Agree with all of the above. And the one thing that really stood out was that he turned his phone off. Who turns their phone off these days? And with a wife and baby at home??

My ex did something similar. I dropped him off at his work Christmas event (nice event, food and drink, including alcohol, all paid for), and it was only when I saw his friend's wife leaving that he told me partners were invited but he didn't think I would have liked it so didn't ask - but it was apparently perfectly fine for me to drop him off and pick him up! He even had the cheek to tell me his friend's wife was annoyed that I hadn't given them a lift home too as they had been drinking and were having to get public transport!
I stopped and told him to get out the car, and he walked the rest of the way. If this is a pattern of similar behaviour from your husband OP, I would also consider making him an ex. His "mother's should be at home with the baby" attitude also stinks - why can't the father stay at home and you go out?

He has been very ignorant and you are absolutely right to feel hurt. His defensive response also serves to validate your belief that he is being out of order.

That’s a bit much!

Reading the other posts by pp I can see that you have other issues with him so maybe this was an9ther sign of his general selfishness.

On its own if he's otherwise a nice guy it wouldn't bother me. Theoretically, my husband is invited to my Christmas do's and some of my colleagues do get their partners but I never do. One reason is so we don't need a babysitter but another reason is that I rarely go out without my family and quite like having one night just for myself and sometimes i do end up drinking quite a lot. It never even struck me to discuss it with him or ask him. I don't go to his Christmas do's either and I suspect that maybe I'm invited to them as well. However, we can both trust each other and go out together at other times anyway so it isn't a big deal. But if course in light of his other behaviour it sounds like it's different for you.

Edit: oh just saw he had lied about it and then made you feel bad. Ignore what I said. That's not ok.

I wouldn't be going straight to affair but he's an arsehole and it's upsetting it was preferable to him to go without you, so much so he blatantly lied. The comment about mothers staying home is sexist and the not talking to you and turning it round on you is gaslighting.

I don’t think he’s necessarily having an affair. I do think he’s a sexist prick though, and controlling.

I would suspect an affair and I would be having him followed at next Committee meeting.