To think that if the school uniform states black shoes the kids should be wearing black shoes?

I believe in reasonable adjustments to uniform. So, if black school shoes is an issue for some kids with sensory disorders or whatever, smart black comfy trainers should be fine. Same with leggings/ trousers. If they're the right colour, and look smart, then it's a reasonable adjustment. But colourful shoes? No, I agree with you op, either enforce it or don't have a uniform policy. I'd be having a word with the school and explaining what a battle it is for you every day, and it would help you reinforce the uniform rules to your dc if other dc were likewise following the rules. And if it continues, explain that you won't be having the daily battles any more and spending a fortune on the right shoes.

Some people are saying yabu because it's none of your business what others wear. Dd is ND. She struggles with clothing generally, but actually she struggles mainly with non uniform days, there's too much choice and she doesn't want to make the wrong one. She compares herself to others and gets really anxious and self conscious if she looks 'different' or 'not good enough'. Being told to wear one colour while others wore other colours would definitely be an issue for her. And if following the rules while others didn't inadvertently caused an issue for her, I'd be speaking to the school. So it is your business, op. Because the school's inability to enforce their own uniform policy is causing problems for you and your child. And I say this as a parent who well knows the problems a uniform/ clothing can cause, but works with my child, and the school, to follow the rules as closely as she can, despite her difficulties.

But parents that send their DC there are generally wealthy and selective schools do not usually accept ND DCs. Their results and school behaviour is skewed by only accepting a certain 'type' of person into their community.

Ime uniform enforcement says a lot about the quality and behaviour of a school. It’s no conincidence that the vast majority of top schools in the UK have strict uniforms smartly worn.

I have DC at primary and secondary and all have smart blazer/tie style uniforms with strict rules about how they are worn (smart black school shoes, top button done up, blazer only removed with permission in hot weather etc). The DC have daily uniform checks and detentions are given to those not complying

I would be very concerned about a school that is too lazy to enforce its own uniform. It probably says a lot about the standards elsewhere in the place.

Just send your kid in in the proper uniform and don't worry about anyone else

I actually didn't know that was a controversial viewpoint? What is the argument against school uniform?

I understand if the uniform is stupidly expensive, but other than that I don't get it.

I have only worked in secondary and the schools in which uniform was enforced were much better schools generally, and also really helped bullying and cliquee-ness (sp?).

I worked in severely disadvantaged areas but in London there's always a disparity in any given borough, so the benefit of the 'equity' aspect was really noticeable.

Bitter much!

Why is it crap parenting to have a different opinion to you. There are parts of my parenting I'm very strict about, particularly their manners and behaviour towards others.

Making them adhere to pointless and outdated rules isn't something I'm going to put much time and effort into.

I was able to send them to non uniform primaries, unfortunately there are no non uniform secondaries near us. They make the decision on what part of the uniform policy they follow, and they take the punishment if they get into trouble. As it is the school doesn't care touch about the uniform policy after the first couple of weeks at the start of year either.

Can't you ask a teacher - say that you've noticed other kids wearing non uniform shoes and will let DD do likewise unless you hear that the rule is being tightened up.

I agree with that, not sure why the school send reminders (they aren't frequent, maybe once or twice a school year).

The question relates to all children at OPs child's school.

If they have the rule it should be enforced.
However, I am one of those people who think all of these rules are ridiculous. I live in another country where there's no school uniform and also teach in a couple of schools there.
I don't think it matters what shoes kids have on their feet as long as they aren't inappropriate or dangerous for the school environment - ie. with heels or open-toed. All the energy and effort put into creating and enforcing these rules could be put iin somewhere else.

This. I haven't RTFT but I'm sure there are probably many factors involved, including the fact that people may not financially be in a position to buy a separate pair of school shoes.

Have you ever bought the £10 shoes from supermarkets? DS would completely wreck them within a fortnight, they'd be falling apart. They also hurt his feet.

Apart from that he is autistic and has sensory issues, so we ended up trying walking boots which were ok for a while, and school were fine with it (primary).

Then we had a couple of years where he would only wear wellies. Now he'll wear ankle wellies, which look smart enough for school and not that far off black shoes.

It’s a lot deeper than that. But this is just a chat a forum, so I simplified.

I always get the kids a kind of black runner/shoe alternative- I always feel for girls wearing eg patent shoes given they run around for about an hour a day!! Shoes just shouldn’t be a thing in primary!

This all makes sense except why send the reminders which will, if nothing else, make people who would prefer to follow the rules but can't feel bad. I fully endorse the idea that making parents buy an extra pair of shoes for no reason (other than it apparently makes 6 year olds more visually pleasing) is ridiculous. So don't do it at all!

Don't lower yourself to other people's standards

I think it depends on why the rules aren't being followed. We have a lot of lower income families at my DD's school. While the school do have a prescribed uniform and send reminders to parents re adherence, they are also sensitive to the fact that some parents simply can't afford multiple pairs of shoes for their children.

Some of course just don't follow the rules because they don't want to/can't be bothered with the battle, but the school can't distinguish between the two without singling kids out.

DC1’s secondary school tends to be very rigid about their uniform policy, children who don’t wear the correct uniform will get into trouble unless they have a uniform pass allowing them some leeway.

My younger DC’s primary school is much more casual about the uniform. There is one, but minor deviations are overlooked.
My DC have occasionally put their colourful trainers on instead of their school shoes on non-PE days, I’ve not noticed until they get out of the car at the school, and when I’ve apologised to the teacher manning the gate - usually the head teacher - the response has always been along the lines of “it doesn’t matter as long as the child’s here and ready to learn”

So it might be worth asking the teachers at your school whether the black shoe rule is one that they really care about, or whether it’s one that they’re happy to ignore.

My dd primary are very strict about shoes but dd will only wear purple trainers (ASD) and they said it’s a reasonable adjustment. Maybe some of the children at OP school have some kind of similar issue

The uniform thing in the UK is mental especially at secondary. I see zero benefit to dressing all teenagers of both sex like 1980s male office workers.

Its certainly not "preparing them for the workplace" unless maybe that workplace is Butlins? Although maybe even they've dropped the blazers!

If you (inexplicably) want them to all dress the same then just have a school t shirt/ sweatshirt and tell them to wear black on their lower half.

@Annabella92 it is not enforced because at primary school uniform can't be enforced; essentially it is guidance that they hope parents will follow but there can't be sanctions at primary level so it'skind of pointless

in most of continental Europe uniform is not worn for school it really doesn't cause huge problems as it's the norm from day one it is not comparable to a mufti day

while i'm not anti uniform it should be much simpler for primary I would just have black/ navy or grey bottoms and a polo shirt and a coloured sweatshirt. flat shoes or trainers, waterproof coat, PE kit any shorts and t shirt

Primaries do tend to be a bit softer on it, partially because they can't really hold the students responsible. I remember my DDs Year 6 class starting to wear joggers, trainers etc. as the parents decided that they'd done paying for the uniform. It'll likely be a lot more rigorous at secondary

Our primary is the same they keep reminding us to send children in black shoes but take no other enforcement action. Id say it's about 50% wearing other colours. I think mandating footwear for little kids is ridiculous and did say to DS that the school don't seem to mind so maybe he could just wear his normal shoes. He won't have it though, he likes to follow rules, so we have to buy a pair or two of stupid black brogues every year. So stupid.