AIBU to think if you haven’t got your life friends from school / uni, you’ll be forever lonely??

I haven't got any friends that I went to school or University with, or school mums. I think a lot of friends are temporary, as per the situation at the time. So it's not unusual.

Those I do see from time to time and keep in touch with in person are from work. Am I part of a social group too, where I see people on an ad hoc basis, could you set a group up?

My closest friends are 1 from 1st day of primary school, 53 years ago! but she lives 250 miles away. Then 2 from University and then 2 from making friends with school Mums 19 years ago and also 3 friends from work but sadly one has died. I have made a good friend since I retired from a walking group but only known her 2 years. Then I have 2 bloke close mates, 1 through work and one through voluntary work. Then a few more acquaintances.

You need to interact with big numbers to meet those few you can truly get on with. Plus you need to filter quickly so you don’t waste time with people that aren’t a good fit for your sake and theirs.

DH is from Surrey and it’s the most unfriendly place I have ever been to.

So it can be done and I have completely relocated twice knowing no one.

Your husband needs to pull his finger out and do some childcare. If he is a big earner and you can afford also pay for some childcare. To never meet your husbands friends is a bit odd.

I think YABU.

I have good friends I've met in adulthood.
Off the top of my head, through our dc being friends / from Church / from the volunteering I do / from work / from a hobby I do.

Doesn’t help that my husband works 7am-8pm every day, is out on average twice a week with work and travels 1 or 2 weeks in 4 and also very much has his own social group, most whom I have never met.

This ^ is your issue.
You need to find yourself a babysitter before you can start developing friendships. Anything you might want to join, you won't be able to get to otherwise.

I have one friend from primary school.
One from 6th form.
One from uni.
Two from a house-share post-uni.
One who was originally a friend-of-a-friend.
Three from having children, from Peanut / stay-and-play type settings.

The rest of the people I see are family - I have become closer to my cousin and SIL in recent years, through having children around the same time.

For me, the key has been being stuck with certain people for years and years, until eventually a bond forms, almost without you noticing. Which basically is what school is. I think lots of people make friends at work for this reason too, although I've never made any that I've stayed in touch with outside of work. I've seldom made a strong bond with someone, in a short time frame, even though I would love to have been able to - moving is the enemy of friend-making ime, unless you're into / good at online chit-chat (which I'm not).

I have nothing in common with my school friends beyond those years when we were forcibly thrown together; we are very different people with a number if different life paths. You can’t spend a life reminiscing about 4 or 5 teenage years, and I have nothing in common with them, beyond that. I have one university friend with whom I have enough shared experiences and similar interests and outlook to have sustained a friendship for over 30 years. Other than that all my current friends have been made either through work (in places where passion for the particular highly specialist work is all important, so leads to shared interests and values) or interest groups. I have constantly found new groups of friends throughout my life: good friends with whom I genuinely share a connection beyond being thrown together by circumstances, instead gravitating together because of who we are. It’s never too late in life to make those sorts of connections!

I have definitely made friends via kids’ school, in fact they are most of my social life as my uni friends and school friends live all over and hardly any nearby. I’m sorry you seem to have hit a crowd who already have lots of local friends and aren’t keen to socialise.

However maybe there are some who are more open to new friendships and you just haven’t found them yet? Be brave and ask someone to go for coffee - the worst that happens is they say they’re busy.

School mums only want to meet up during the week, not weekends. I don't have school/uni friends in this country but have a very active social life in the week, I set up a book club through school

Why can’t you/don’t you socialise with DH and his friends? And why have you never met them?

I agree. Everyone has their friendship groups now. I lost mine as I moved around a lot. Now I have kids, a job etc it's even harder to make friends. I've decided to focus on myself and my family instead. No point forcing friendships.

Where have you had luck meeting people?

At your age, at work.

Later, through social activity groups.

I haven't made lasting friendships via school mums tbh. I made a few friends via work but I was office based. I do have a few school mum friends but I didn't meet them via being in my sons year. Where abouts in Surrey are you?

Can you start a book club? I wiuld talk to your local library. Oura gas one night a week they are open late so maybe you could have your meeting there, then move to a pub or coffee shop to have a drink before going home.