Manager being awkward as grandfather's funeral is 23rd Dec

I'm sorry for your loss.

Remind your boss that the 24th is Xmas Eve and you will be working that day as the funeral is on the 23rd. If he's still huffing then let HR know you need that date off for a funeral as per their policy. Hopefully they'll sort your manager out for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss 😔 the way your manager is acting is awful. I'd go to HR and make a complaint, you can't help the date it falls on. Don't be made to feel guilty when you are already going through an awful stressful sad time. sending hugs 💐

When my great uncle died, I was in my first job out of Uni and I suppose a bit naive about the workforce. I took the day off and the next day my manager breezily asked me if I was taking it as a holiday or no pay. Apparently as he was just an ‘uncle’ he didn’t fall under any company policy.

I was outraged that she dared to compare my uncle’s funeral as a ‘holiday.’ He may not have been classed as a ‘parent’ but he effectively was my granddad. His brother, my grandfather, had died when I was young so ‘Mon Oncle Gerry’ took his place.

I didn’t like my employer dictating when and how I was allowed to mourn my loved one. It’s like a line was crossed and left a bad taste in my mouth. I left soon after.

I’d like to believe that the concept of what constitutes a family changes over the years. We took the day off for my neighbour’s funeral because she had been such a support to me when I first moved to England.

Obviously some fuckers will claim ‘my Nan (cough wink wink) died I need the week off’ but most people won’t.

I'd be job hunting, tell them at the interview you'd need the 23rd off and see what their reaction is before accepting.

You are giving him 3 weeks notice, there's no reason why he can't accommodate this. It's a bit of an unfortunate date , but perhaps they booked it because most people had finished school/work for Christmas by then forgetting about retail. I've had this

But also having worked in retail I know this attitude is sadly not uncommon

You just have to completely ignore it and know that the funeral is 1000x more important than not letting your manager down. PPs advise to escalate further if needed is also good.

Sorry for your loss 💐
Your manager needs to re-evaluate how he treats people, this is unacceptable behaviour especially around a bereavement, have some sympathy jeez!
I really hope he wakes up one morning and realises how much of an inconsiderate arsewipe he is being, otherwise it would be an awful shame if you "got sick" on the busiest days of the year 😉

Spell it out
"You seem to be acting in a way that my grandads death is an inconvenience for you personally, rather than the loss of someone who meant the world to me."

My employer allows us to have time off for the funeral if its parents, grandparents, partner, children, grandchildren and ILs.

^ there’s the policy. The end.

So sorry for your loss

Your manager is being very unfair and bad at their job by being like this. Awful lack of empathy.

From your post, it sounds like you will regret not going, if you don't go. Unless this is your one-chance-ever, dream job, I wouldn't pay any mind at all to your boss - sounds like they need a perspective shift. In 10 years, you won't be thinking "I wish I'd made life easier for that twat"...

Sorry for you loss.

Your manager's an idiot, it's not like there's much choice in these things.

I'm sorry for your loss. I know my grandparents were like surrogate parents as we all lived together for a large part of my life and to lose them in adulthood feels so different to losing a grandparent when you're a tot.

I would also contact HR if you have one.

You can't miss the funeral. Stand firm. Take proof. He will feel bad when he realises you are telling the truth.

4 weeks normal

Tell your manager you are sorry your grandfather inconvenienced him but that is life

How much do you like your job..?

I’m so sorry for your loss and for the added complication of an idiot of a manager. Can you take it higher up the chain? They should not be treating you this way at all

Yes, my Dad’s funeral was almost 4 weeks after he died. There are more deaths in the winter months.

My (very) recent experience is 2.5 weeks from death to funeral so 4 seems long to me too, but it still doesn’t excuse your manager being unsympathetic. He can think and feel what he likes about being inconvenienced, he shouldn’t be communicating that to you or anyone else.

Sorry for your loss.

I had to wait a long time for a family members funeral as there were a lot of deaths and the crematorium was fully booked for weeks.

As a previous poster suggested, I'd take some kind of proof with me to show I was genuinely attending a funeral.

You don't have to. And they don't have to pay you for the time off, it depends on their policy. So I'd try and offer proof in the hope they'd treat me well knowing I was being truthful.

It’s normal for this time of year apparently - also based on recent experience. The death was in 1st week of November and the funeral will be in the 1st week of December.

Have you explained to them what the rationale for the delay is - that might reassure your manager

The 'rationale' is none of their God damn business and I wouldn't be explaining or apologising for anything. The manager has to suck it up and that's pretty much it.

4 weeks for a funeral right now in England at least is pretty normal.

It seems fairly normal length of time to wait, in England at least

Gosh that's an awfully long time to wait for a funeral. I'm sorry, your manager is being a dick. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it, he shouldn't be making you feel bad

Completely normal, someone at work has the same thing