Manager being awkward as grandfather's funeral is 23rd Dec

Who voted YABU on this thread??

It's often about 4 weeks in the winter.
Just been to one that was over 3 weeks

4-6 weeks is quite normal here.

What is he actually doing/saying? Report to HR any mistreatment or attempts to make it difficult for you to have the day off. If your company policy is that a day off is given for a grandparent's funeral then it's very simple and you don't require his permission or approval; you are just making him aware as per the policy.

Keep notes of any conversations, comments, actions by the manager that are untoward and report to HR.

Report this to HR.

Also it is the 29th November so your manager as plenty of time to arrange additional cover for that day.

I am sorry about your loss.

'@OutForBabyHaggis Have you explained to them what the rationale for the delay is - that might reassure your manager'

WTF? there is nothing to justify or any reason to reassure anyone.

We waited over 10 days for a post mortem due to a high number of deaths recently. 4 weeks is the norm here now.

So what if he isn't happy. He has to work within the rules. Just take the day off and move on. It's a non issue. This is the stuff of life.

My neighbour died on 22 November and the funeral is 20 December.

I work at a company that prepares and prints funeral orders of service and it’s entirely normal to have four to six weeks from the date of death to the funeral these days.

OP if your manager is treating you in any way unreasonably, report to HR.

What all over Scotland? Theres no one waiting more than that in Scotland anywherre?
Such a glib thing to day, also the query 'is that they only date they can book'

Well perhaps it wasnt the ONLY date they could book but guess what, you dont book funerals around work matters, you book it around the times and dates (if possible) that the vast majority of the significant mourners can make, you might have people having to make travel and child care arrangements for example.

Also, join a union and seek their advice.

By all means join a union but they won’t advise on a situation that predates you joining.

Normal. We’ve just had one that was 5 weeks. Takes a lot longer to register a death now too.

Yes, unless there's a Post Mortem, around 2 weeks is normal in many parts of Scotland. It's sometimes even quicker where I live. A month as norm seems unnecessarily long for the bereaved. 😪

@reesiespieces
Yes, we've had 4 deaths in the last 2 years, only delay was one who had died 23 dec, funeral 12 Jan, everything else 2 weeks max.
Again, I'm not in England.

Your manager is being totally unreasonable and is clearly only focussing on the profits for the day achieved by their departmental performance. Clearly has never suffered the loss of a very dear relative either.
Your employers have precise regulations in place that state you are allowed to attend this funeral.
The manager will have to climb down from their self-important 'pedestal' and actually work on the shop floor to cover for you attending the funeral.
Go, show your respects for your grandad, support your family.

In the event that the manager might make matters awkward for you in the future perhaps you might consider making a personal note of all conversations etc over this matter - just incase they carry on being am arse and making things unpleasant for you.

4 weeks for a funeral right now in England at least is pretty normal.
again In England, MN posters must surely know it isn't only English posters and there are other countries?
Scotland it's 2weeks hence my surprise at a month.

Have you ever tried to book a funeral in the UK? It takes forever.

OP your manager needs an empathy implant. Sure it's annoying for him, but it's not your fault! I'm sorry for your loss and I hope your manager gets over himself.

Also, join a union and seek their advice.

If it’s a burial, things will be backlogged from the snow and heavy rainfall.

Sorry for your loss.
I can perhaps see why the manager is a tad miffed, because it is an inconvenient date regarding work busy times, and also seems quite a long time away from the actual date of death, however if that's genuinely the only date they could get for the funeral then you deserve the same time off as anyone else.

September death, November funeral. 4 weeks is not unusual.

But what HAS he done? Presumably as your GF died on Sunday, the arrangements would have been made on Tuesday at the earliest, you would only have told him on Wednesday so from your first post thats at the very best 2 days that he’s known?
Ive been to 3 funerals this month and it was a week after each death before the dates of each funeral was decided.

Sorry to hear you lost your grandad.

Is it a chain store or an independent store? And what exactly is your manager doing?

If a chain, then I suggest you complain to HR, that you’ve had a bereavement, yet are working hard at a very busy time. However, the way your manager is making you feel about attending the funeral is making you want to leave (they’ll be worried about a constructive dismissal claim).

If independent, attempt to swap shifts with another member of staff. If you can’t, attend the funeral anyway and if your boss is still difficult, look for another job. Why work for a place where they have so little compassion for their staff? If you have retail experience, I’m sure you’ll find something somewhere else.

Had similar timescale a few years back when a relative died early December and we wanted the funeral before Christmas.