To refuse to do any more driving lessons ?

This is the thing I'm not sure about. So many people apparently too terrified to drive and convinced they can never be ok with it.

I'm willing to believe some people just really can't do it. But I'm not sure that's the case for a lot of these people. To actually pass a test proves you can drive! It's after the test that the confidence comes, with practice.

I'm not just speaking out my arse here - as mentioned upthread it took me years to learn. I was terrified driving on my own for the first time (drove a short v familiar route and gradually stepped it up each time). But I just kept persisting and at some point realised I was doing it without anxiety!

(I understand if the cost of lessons for years is prohibitive - that, coupled with anxiety, is why I didn't learn until my mid 30s. But to pass a test then give up is so odd!)

@Icannoteven thank you for this. I haven't heard of this but this is interesting so I am going to look into it.

I hated lessons and have never driven since I failed my test.
My friend is similar to you, her family pushed and pushed until she passed her test however she never drives and is absolutely terrified when she does, so it was pointless. Not everyone is meant to drive

American roads are generally larger and more quiet. And people can drive in the UK just fine, loads of my students don’t have a problem. There’s literally no difference with the vehicle being the opposite side - having driven abroad it’s the same, you just have to get used to it.

The amount of times I ask my learners about preferred learning styles and they haven’t got a clue what I’m on about! I wish for someone like you 😂

I’d add that instructors can take away responsibility and introduce it later when the student isn’t suffering overload. I’d rather someone gets one skill well at a time then at some point it'll all come together.

I was hoping it was a joke but curious enough to ask, in case it wasn't! 😄

I think it’s a joke.

A third of the world’s population drives on the left so if it was a significant safety hazard I think it would have been noticed before now.

What's your reasoning there? I'm Australian and we also have right-hand drive, so I really don't know what you mean.

It sounds like a terrible experience for you to drive. Say 'no', it's not for everyone. I was lucky as I didn't need a car living in London, but now I can't be without it, bought myself an automatic cabriolet and that was the incentive!! Don't make yourself sick though, there's always public transport and taxis x

I'm from the US, I had a learners permit at 14.

I am beginning to think that the problem in the UK with people being unable to drive is that you have right hand drive cars.

I have ADHD and I'm a brilliant driver. I love driving. This sounds like anxiety, try some CBT.

His parents are his responsibility to care for. OP is able to help if she wants to. OPs parents are her responsibility. Their individual inheritance belongs to the person it was left to. Women get enough extra work dumped on them without being guilted in to caring for someone else’s parents.

If you live in an area with good public transport you don’t have to drive. Getting the odd taxi is cheaper than having a car.

That’s really the issue.

Why pressure people into driving who aren’t cut out for it.?

Mr Passing Stranger did that, first time no actual lessons.

To be brutally honest.. as a pedestrian and also driver, I agree with you that you should just leave it and accept that you’re not a driver - as I really wouldn’t want to come across you behind the wheel of a vehicle should you somehow be forced into resuming lessons and by some fluke passing your test! Sounds like you might be a liability on the roads!

No. I was questioning another poster who took the view that given the PILs are not the OPs parents then she should not do them any favours and should leave it all to her partner. I was asking whether that view extended to any positives, like an inheritance or whether the OP and that poster would suddenly see PIL as family then. I didn't think I was unclear.

Editing to add: I've just realised you were the poster I was responding to. The one who said the partner's parents are his responsibility alone regarding care. Shame you never bothered to respond to the point of my post.

But your expectation is for your DH to do 100% of ferrying around the children. 100% of pick ups and drop offs and presumably when you get that call saying one is ill he does 100% of those too.
You expect him to do all of the midweek shops too.
It sounds like his family life is full on and most couples work together. You are saying you ‘can’t’ drive whilst he is asking you for help as he is struggling.

Have you tried automatic? Honestly though if not driving doesn't have a negative impact on your life then don't bother!

Yes @KimberleyClark that's what I'm getting at. The fewer people in the family unit that drive, the less resilience there is. My parents are not necessarily frail but my Ddad has developed a specific condition that affects long distance driving. And so they have to rely on local buses which are dreadful (but they love because they're free! ). If the shit hits the fan- so emergencies etc - my siblings who are local to them can't drive. I live several hours away so can help sometimes. Or there are other family members who they don't like to ask because it makes them feel they're being a burden.

I do think that an automatic car and satnav will make it easier for me to continue use driving to a later point than if I had a manual car and no satnav. To say don’t bother learning to drive because you’ll get toapoint you won’t be able to any way is not good advice.

When my mother became frail and needed additional support to continue living at home, my being able to drive was an absolute boon. And when she could no longer live at home we were not restricted in our choice of home to the one we could reach by public transport.

Some people can’t drive, some people won’t drive-whatever.

As long as are they aren’t expecting their driving partner to do all of the shared chores that involve ‘travelling out of the house’, then that’s fine.

It shouldn’t be down to the driver to have to do all of the taking and collecting kids to the shops/parties/doctor/dentist/optician/orthodontist/cubs/karate/ballet etc etc just because they drive.

Everyone gets to a point that their driving affects their ability to get about, even if they have a licence. I know lots of elderly friends of my parents who no longer feel comfortable driving. So advising to do it for old age isn’t necessarily good advice.

No one HAS to learn. But you have to accept that, unless you live in London, you will have some disadvantages that may be more severe at some points in your life and in certain situations. I would encourage you to think ahead to such scenarios and not just focus on the here and now. My DM gave up trying in her 30s. Now she massive regrets it, because my DDad can no longer drive other than short distances. It has affected their ability to access hospital appointments and deal with health emergencies. Ambulances nowadays are very unreliable due to funding cuts. I'm sure she wouldn't have foreseen my DDad health issues or the problems with NHS funding 30ish years ago