DH pisses around toilet

Yes I know - i meant he can return there

I'm hoping this thread is a wind up because it's so vile and disgusting. Not only your DH behaviour and attitude, but that you're finding it somewhat funny judging by your responses.

If an adult man can't aim into the bowl when standing then he should sit to pee. Personally I'd embarrass him next time you're visiting the in-laws and ask why he was never taught to use a toilet properly, or to clean up his misses after himself.

Alternatively, purchase some fake Halloween blood and next time you have your period, leave some around the rim to make him think it's menstrual blood. When he complains, tell him you'll clean it off at the end of the week when you're mopping up his urine.

Dirty bastard.

He's disgusting. As an aside does he clean the actual pan after he's taken a dump? Because as far as I am concerned that is just something everyone should do. Leave the toilet as you would like to find it.
And I hope he stands in his own urine too. That 'll teach him!

It's not the missing the toilet bowl that has brought OP to Mumsnet, but the fact that her DH says it's not his job to clean it up.

What doesn't he get? Does he think it actually doesn't need to be cleaned up and that it's totally fine to leave it there so why are you nagging him, or does he actually think that it is your job to clean up his piss?

In both scenarios, he is being an inconsiderate twat but I'm interested in his reasoning/rationale.

Did you ask him whose job it is if it’s not his?

My eleven month old puppy would be ashamed and mortified if she did a wee in the wrong place.

My MIL has her bad points, but she did teach her son to sit on the loo while having a piss.. and for that I will always love her.,

I’ve got a DH and we have four adult sons between us, not one of them does or has ever done this!

Id fuck him off for this dirty fecker 😡

My Xh used to do this, and blamed it on my son who was about 5 or 6 at the time. Also pissed up the shower curtain on a regular basis "everybody pisses in the shower". It was "my job" to clean it up. I found it very disrespectful (not to mention disgusting), like he was showing me my place and it was one of the reasons I left. I now live just with my son, who is 22 and sits down to pee, as do a lot of his friends (through choice, not because it's a "rule"). So tell him to sit. Or LTB.

He’s already done that 🤣

Op has highlighted that this is probably why he does it at home as they used to live behind a forest and he would just piss out the balcony into said forest 😝

Like someone said upthread, I’m starting to think is is a wind up as the updates are something else and becoming progressively ridiculous 🤣🤣

Stop being meek and leave a shit on the toilet seat.

Someone in my university halls did it, it worked.

Is there one toilet or two? Keep one toilet for you and keep it locked with a key.

My thoughts exactly. Be very careful @PissoirPissedOff he is not showing himself in the best light. Think it through.

Fucking grim. I’d warn him that the next time it happens, seeing as it’s ’your job’ apparently to clean it up, you’ll be carrying out said task with one of his clean items of clothing, before returning it to his drawer/wardrobe. Maybe he’ll get the hang of it pretty sharpish when he has to play pissy clothes roulette every morning.

There is no way, no way, that this is a considerate respectful person. Literally pissing on the floor and walking away leaving it for someone else to clean it up.

This is a shit person.

No it’s not. Neither my DH or my teenage DS do this, because they are not animals. DS hasn’t done it since he was about 4!

I’d call his parents and ask why they didn’t toilet train him properly, because he can’t get his wee wees in the toilet.

Easy - clean it up with a tissue and pop it on his pillow (with plastic under it, of course). Just giving back what’s yours.

OK, I've a suggestion (obvs I've also got a lot of 'what the actual FUCK' too).

I did this for my children (children!!), lengths of toilet paper placed around the loo & with sharpie I wrote things like 'PISS FREE ZONE' & "NO URINE HERE!'

It actually worked cos it meant they had a visual indicator with the tissue getting wet & so it trained them to aim better.

But OP...' not my job'? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Not his job?

Is he a 6 year old child? Even then I would be explaining that they need to clean up what they do not hit!

Honestly, wake up and do not take such bullshit...this can not be real? Who the hell puts up with this in 2024? You make the mess, as an adult?! Clean it up!

This is the only acceptable response to the problem, or soak it up with a sponge and squeeze it into his tea/coffee.

... selfish prick.

That's disgusting. I'd clean it up with an item of his clothing.

If he can't aim properly, and can't clean up after himself then why doesn't he sit down?

He's taking the piss.

I have a rule that men who live here/are family, sit down to pee.

They protested a bit to start with, but are now on board.

And life is easier for whoever cleans the bathrooms.

I'm surprised you have to ask on here. Did you imagine everyone saying yes that's completely okay for your DH to expect you to clean up his piss?!

No. It's grotesque.

And it's not your job.

Sometimes I hate men.