To want to ditch a few long term friends?

YANBU for having too much horrible shit to deal with that some people’s problems seem ridiculous. I totally get that.

YABU to tar all single people with the same brush based on a few friends.

I would take some indefinite time out of being social with them. You might feel differently one day if things turn around but your lives are too different at the moment.

We can't tell you why your friends think they're victims as we aren't in their heads and we don't know them personally. They aren't typical of single people as a demographic, you know.

So yes, why do single people think they are 'victims' ? Because life can be much harder and more expensive for them.

Wow. So much here to unpick. If you and your friends dont have anything in common, of course you can take a step back from your relationship - things change over time and not everything lasts. And you dont have to be around people who are draining. Especially when there are lots of demands on your resources. BUT it sounds like you are comparing your problems to theirs and dismissing theirs as less than yours (and makes you seem like you want to victim role). And your sniffy assumption that being single is somehow less deserving than being married is really distasteful. Yes there are a lot more demands on your time being in a couple or family and it can mean you are supporting others as well as yourself. But being single means you have no back up - no one to help you with anything. Except your friends. For everyones sake, take a step back.

What @crazyunicornlady73 said.

I never really get the expression I read on MN of 'ditching friends'.
I can understand making less effort / seeing people less often, but what does it have to be so final / drastic? Presumably there is a reason you have been friends with them so long ?

they are all "singletons" who are totally focused on themselves and their problems which aren't that serious compared to mine.

It sounds more like you're annoyed that you are not their focus.

Best to call time on the friendship.

Erm they might actually feel the same way about you op, friendship is about give and take, caring about each other's difficulties rather than competing over who has the most "serious" problems.

I'm sorry your life is hard, that all sounds genuinely very difficult but it doesn't mean your friends can't also have issues that absorb them.

Yes maybe break all around would be best, create a bit of distance and time for reflection and see if you end up thinking that a friendship is worth saving.

It sounds like your life is really hard right now - definitely step back from other things that are draining for a while.

Are your sons single? If they are, does that mean they don’t experience mental illness or addiction as problems?

Tbf, you don't exactly sound a barrel of laughs yourself. You should probably just let them go so you can focus on your own problems that are so much worse than theirs. You'd be doing them a favour.

Bloody hell you have a lot going on. Definitely put them on a break and see how you feel in 6 months. Do you have other friends for actual support?

Single people are allowed to have problems too, you know.