To want to ditch a few long term friends?

The contempt you have for these single friends is dripping from your post — absolutely horrible.

OP some of this does seem awful, like someone complaining about a cold when you are at the hospital with your son. If she knew that was where you were and what had happened. But the rest of it? How long is your expectation that they should not tell you about their problems or what is happening in their lives when you have a problem? Because of your problems are ongoing issues, it is not really realistic to expect they will stop talking about themselves for good. I had a friend who had a minor problem at work while i was nursing a dying parent. Not in the same league of difficulty, but did not mean she shouldnt have told me about it. That said, sounds like you have made your decision, and I hope that works out well for you.

This thread reminds me of a great quote.

"Egotist: somebody insufficiently interested in me."

Time to move on . They might be grateful .

That said, if you don't enjoy spending time with them, you're not BU to see less of them! Life's too short to spend with people you don't "gel" with.

I don't suppose the OP feels like a "smug married" in their situation but yes the focus on single people being self-obsessed is a pretty lazy generalisation.

There are plenty of selfish delusional people who are married/in relationship, so I dont agree it's only single people who are self-obsessed. Impossible to know what's going on in their minds but they don't get to demand sympathy if you don't have any to give.

you can drop anyone you don't want in your life for whatever reason, you don't need permission. Sounds like these so called friends are adding nothing, so distancing yourself sounds like the right thing to do - focus on your own family and don't look back.

Everyone has problems OP and they are just as important to them as your problems are to you. You shouldn’t dismiss or belittle their problems, and likewise they shouldn’t do the same to you. It sounds like there is a lack of empathy on both sides here, coupled with the fact that they are all bonded over their shared problem whereas you are the odd one out and feel excluded.
I think before you cut them out maybe consider if they have always been like this, or is it just recently as they are all single at the moment? Do you like these friend otherwise? Do the conversations always come back to being single just because all three of them currently are and it’s the main thing in their life at the mo, and they are being thoughtless rather than deliberately excluding you?
your life sounds really hard at the moment OP- I’m sorry you don’t have the support of friends or at least friends to have a good time with as a bit of respite 💐

Reading the OP makes me feel I've stepped into a Bridget Jones time warp- Singletons vs Smug Marrieds.

It's not a race to the bottom. You're making yourself a victim by making your issues your personality.

Maybe call time on this, you really don’t like them and, rightly or wrongly, are getting nothing from the friendship. I’d do them and yourself a favour and end it.

There’s nothing worse than spinsters who don’t know their place

FGS, It's not the suffering olympics.

You are clearly dealing with a lot. But your attitude to your friends is remarkably unpleasant. Single people are allowed to have problems too. It’s not their fault your immediate family takes so much out of you.

Their problems aren't as serious as mine..

Take a minute to think about what you just said.

Not sure if your sons are in relationships but if they weren't would you call them victims because they are focussed on their own problems?

Go for it. Ditch them and don't look back.
You don't want obnoxious people in your life.

I think you’re just in different life phases and don’t have much in common.

I'm surprised you have friends to ditch.

I am not saying it’s you. I know you have a lot on your plate. But you could potentially without realising be jealous of their “easier” looking lives, or maybe annoyed deep down that their inconveniences are minor to yours hence why you think they are acting “victim”.

Maybe you have so much going on, that you wish you could swap places for a moment - and it’s putting you off being around them!

I would say if you want to cut them off then do so, if they’re toxic for you, do so. But maybe having friends around is what you need right now.

You should set them free... of your ridiculous standards. you obviously have some tough stuff going on which you need to focus on but it's not the 'my problems are worse than yours' Olympics and you certainly shouldn't be making sweeping statements about single people.

Always best not to get into a competition with friends over who has it worst.

Ok you have a lot to deal with, but single people have problems as well, and often no one to share with. Your husband may be ill but at least you can talk to him

However if you are fed up of them then stop seeing them

It sounds as though you have outgrown them. Your life has changed so radically and it sounds as though you're having a really really tough time and could do with some support, which they are not offering.

There is no need to cut them dead but just don't rely on them.