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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU.. Banning Teens From House

81 replies

RedVelvetIcing · 28/11/2024 13:03

AIBU..

We moved into our brand new build a few months ago and I have been easy going at having people over but the lack of respect towards my house is tipping me over the edge and is causing me and my child to fall out.

I’m aware some of these may sound like no big deal but I have OCD and I have worked hard to have nice things as a single mum and I don’t want stuff ruined or the expense of having to replace them.

•They think my house is a free for all. They come immediately after school despite me saying no and some nights they don’t leave until 8:45. At the weekend they want to be here most of the time meaning we have very little time without other kids in the house. I feel like this is affecting my child’s diet and school work as she will put her friends above sitting down for a full meal. I say no they come anyway.

•I’ve had extra kids sneak in during sleepovers. One was sick all over the patio doors when I had no idea they were even here.

•They are incapable of using the toilet without leaving skid marks.

•They have spilt drinks all up my fresh white walls and on my carpets. Some walls need to be repainted and I could do with having certain carpets cleaned.

•They’ve broken some blinds which need to be replaced. Again these are only months old and now I need to spend more money to change them.

• They vape in the house and it stinks - I’ve told them not to vape in my house but it falls on deaf ears. They think my kitchen is a free for all too.

•They crash and drive around and the house thuds - No matter how many times I tell them to stop banging they continue and I don’t want to annoy my neighbours.

I could give more examples but they are much the same. The lack of respect is pissing me off something rotten but I don’t know if I’m being irrational. It seems everytime they are here something else breaks or a new stain appears somewhere.

I’m well aware having OCD is part of the problem but am I a crazy mum to say that my teens friends aren’t welcome in my home?

OP posts:
JustinThyme · 28/11/2024 13:11

Good god, why have you tolerated any of this without slinging the messy, disrespectful beggars out? Why has your DD allowed her friends to treat your home like this?

sprigatito · 28/11/2024 13:09

I don't have OCD and I would be cracking skulls over this! I would tell DD that they are all banned for a month - nobody is to come into the house, no exceptions. In the meantime, sit down with her and draw up a set of house rules. After a month, one friend can come at a time - you can increase it if all goes well and you feel comfortable. Anyone who breaks one of the house rules is banned.

It's really important for teenagers to be able to have their friends round, but not at the expense of your enjoyment of your own home. Your DD needs to be stepping up and policing her own friends' behaviour. A chat about rules will give her the opportunity to say if she's being dominated or disrespected by some of these people, and you can take the blame for banning them if so.

AttachmentFTW · 28/11/2024 13:08

Do you literally have OCD (obsessive, intrusive thoughts that something awful will happen unless you engage in a particular compulsive behaviour) or are you using it in that really offensive way people do, when they just mean they like a nice home or are abit obsessed with cleaning?

Also, you say you so no but they do all these things anyway (have friends round, vape). What are the consequences for these behaviours? Your child is so disobedient, it's really rude. How are you putting down the boundary? Because they seem to be running all over it.

Triggeredbyeverything · 28/11/2024 13:08

I think you are right OP. It’s not your OCD it’s their blatant disregard for your rules and they have no respect .

Original poster
RedVelvetIcing · 28/11/2024 13:07

starrymidnight · 28/11/2024 13:06

“am I a crazy mum to say that my teens friends aren’t welcome in my home?”

This feels massively unreasonable, I think you need to get better at setting and enforcing rules instead.

I have tired until I’m blue in the face which is why I’m at the end of my tether. It falls on deaf ears.

OP posts:
starrymidnight · 28/11/2024 13:06

“am I a crazy mum to say that my teens friends aren’t welcome in my home?”

This feels massively unreasonable, I think you need to get better at setting and enforcing rules instead.