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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To walk to nursery with two toddlers in the cold?

184 replies

Chillyoutthere · 28/11/2024 12:36

I like to walk to pre-school/nursery with my 3 and 1 year old children whenever possible. I enjoy it, I think they enjoy it, and I believe it’s better for us all to be outdoors instead of in a car.

The walk is about 25 minutes to pre-school, and then a further 15 minutes to nursery with a buggy and buggy board. Sometimes my husband will take one child and I’ll take the other (older one scoots in this scenario), which makes each journey about 20-25 minutes. Traffic is awful so it’s only about 5 minutes quicker in the car.

Obviously, it’s getting colder, which is leading lots of input from my MIL regarding our commute. She feels very strongly that it’s bad for kids to be outside in the cold (1C this morning). I am being told / texted multiple times a day that they will get ill, this is bad parenting and that I am selfish.

I disagree. I was brought up to believe that there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes! Both kids were both wearing hats, gloves and snowsuits this morning.

So, dare I ask… AIBU?

OP posts:
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mg2397 · 08/12/2024 18:40

I don't have a car, 3 kids under 6. They'll be fine. They'll learn that bad weather doesn't stop your day and how to dress appropriately. Being out in the cold is just a part of life in the UK.

VerbenaGirl · 07/12/2024 08:19

I’d be tempted to seek out the info on how bad poor air quality due to unnecessary car use is for children and send that to her. My children are older now, but our walks to and from preschool and nursery in all weathers are still a lovely memory.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 06/12/2024 15:43

I agree that it's good for you all. MIL is being kind and concerned, but it's your decision not hers.

Pootle23 · 06/12/2024 15:39

Your MIL is being wierd. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Bet you have some lovely chats along the way too, win win.

Original poster
Chillyoutthere · 06/12/2024 15:16

DearDenimEagle · 06/12/2024 14:57

Hilarious. When pre school , mine didn’t go to nursery but they played outside all day, especially in the snow, digging tunnels. When walking home from school, 5 year olds, they would cross the park to meet me and their coats would be in their bags with their jumper, and in only t shirts , they would be doing somersaults in the snow. There’s no such thing as bad weather. Just the wrong clothes ..Billy Connelly

Totally agree! Eldest left school yesterday in his T-shirt despite monsoon level rains. I think he might take after me.

(MIL had offered a lift, but I told her we had waterproof skin and lots of clothes. She laughed until she realised I wasn’t joking)

OP posts:
DearDenimEagle · 06/12/2024 14:57

Hilarious. When pre school , mine didn’t go to nursery but they played outside all day, especially in the snow, digging tunnels. When walking home from school, 5 year olds, they would cross the park to meet me and their coats would be in their bags with their jumper, and in only t shirts , they would be doing somersaults in the snow. There’s no such thing as bad weather. Just the wrong clothes ..Billy Connelly

hookiewookie29 · 05/12/2024 13:45

No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing!
If you all enjoy it then carry on!

Mummyto2boyz · 05/12/2024 11:01

Tell your MIL to butt out. It won't do them any harm. Quite the opposite actually, it's good for you all.

Original poster
Chillyoutthere · 05/12/2024 08:28

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/12/2024 23:56

What the fuck does she think people without a car do?? 😂 She’d be fainting if she was my MIL as I don’t drive and walk them everywhere!

This is the problem!! I don’t drive either, and I honestly think she believes they should be indoors from October until April!

OP posts:
Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/12/2024 23:56

What the fuck does she think people without a car do?? 😂 She’d be fainting if she was my MIL as I don’t drive and walk them everywhere!

Julimia · 04/12/2024 23:53

Tell her to mind her own business. She would be complaining if you kept them in all the time. You are doing a great job and doing exactly right. Anyway what right has she to criticise what you are doing?
(An MIL speaking here btw)

JillMW · 04/12/2024 20:23

If they were going in summer clothes and flip flops then maybe your mil has a point. But honestly taking children for a walk outside, wrapped up warm is good for them. The walk is much more likely to make them fit and healthy and wakes their mind for the day ahead!
Walk mum walk!

Allfur · 04/12/2024 20:06

JockTamsonsBairns · 02/12/2024 00:15

I see your point about cities. However, lots of us live rurally with zero public transport, and are totally reliant on cars.

I'm a community care worker in the Yorkshire Dales, and cover over 100 miles daily.
Without private cars, domiciliary care in rural areas couldn't happen.

I'm fairly certain private cars aren't going to die out anytime soon.

Show quote history

i was talking about cities only

Thebellofstclements · 04/12/2024 20:06

Very strange of your mil, unless she's from a warmer country. All fresh air is good as long as the child is warm enough - if it's below freezing then put a rain cover on for babies to warm their air up a bit.
I can't imagine how mind numbing your conversations must be to be discussing the daily commute, but maybe just nod that you go in the car if asked. Unless you are making MIL trudge in minus 20, then it doesn't affect her.

OleWomanInAShoe · 04/12/2024 19:45

Nah she just wants you to drive so she can say you're lazy and unhealthy. Tell her to pound sand.

Ahwig · 04/12/2024 19:43

My mum used to put me out in my pram warmly wrapped up in the snow. Somehow I survived. My son went to a childminder from 9 months and I didn't drive so whatever the weather he was out in it. The only exception was when the snow was deeper than the buggy wheels, that was a challenge. 😂

Zanatdy · 04/12/2024 19:28

unless they have a cold / illness then its absolutely fine.

Georgyporky · 04/12/2024 19:28

Does MIL not know about the "obesity epidemic" ?

You're keeping your DC healthy.

SarBe · 04/12/2024 19:23

Chillyoutthere · 28/11/2024 12:36

I like to walk to pre-school/nursery with my 3 and 1 year old children whenever possible. I enjoy it, I think they enjoy it, and I believe it’s better for us all to be outdoors instead of in a car.

The walk is about 25 minutes to pre-school, and then a further 15 minutes to nursery with a buggy and buggy board. Sometimes my husband will take one child and I’ll take the other (older one scoots in this scenario), which makes each journey about 20-25 minutes. Traffic is awful so it’s only about 5 minutes quicker in the car.

Obviously, it’s getting colder, which is leading lots of input from my MIL regarding our commute. She feels very strongly that it’s bad for kids to be outside in the cold (1C this morning). I am being told / texted multiple times a day that they will get ill, this is bad parenting and that I am selfish.

I disagree. I was brought up to believe that there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes! Both kids were both wearing hats, gloves and snowsuits this morning.

So, dare I ask… AIBU?

Tell her you're building up their immune systems

JockTamsonsBairns · 02/12/2024 00:15

Allfur · 29/11/2024 10:53

It's the direction cities are going in. The future will see more car sharing/hiring schemes, similar to electric bike hiring schemes. Private car ownership is incredibly inefficient given they are unused most of the day

Show quote history

I see your point about cities. However, lots of us live rurally with zero public transport, and are totally reliant on cars.

I'm a community care worker in the Yorkshire Dales, and cover over 100 miles daily.
Without private cars, domiciliary care in rural areas couldn't happen.

I'm fairly certain private cars aren't going to die out anytime soon.

Incognitoburrito88 · 30/11/2024 20:47

I admire you for doing it! Fresh air and daylight every morning plus exercise and time with mum in the outdoors - you’re ticking every parenting box. I’m feeling guilty reading this because our nursery is only 5 mins walk away! Also our nursery often has the kids outdoors pretty much all day despite the weather. If they’ve got the right clothes then it’s totally fine.

LondonFox · 30/11/2024 20:38

Chillyoutthere · 28/11/2024 12:45

Ahh… This is what she wants to do, hence the daily debate! “It is cold, I will come and help take the children” - she’s a nice person and would do this to help out.

But I’ve tried to explain that we actively WANT to do the walk to school, and that I think it’s good for us. This is not an accepted answer, and it’s what’s causing the problem!

Show quote history

Just ignore her.
I took my toddlers aroumd at that age in the rain at 1°c and both survived.
UK is really NOT cold compared tho the rest of the Europe.
Your MIL got her idiotic agenda.

Bunnycat101 · 30/11/2024 20:20

I get where you’re coming from as I enjoy the walk to school- I feel like it sets me up for the day ahead. But… I wouldn’t be quite so quick to reject your MIl’s lifts. There will be times when a 40 minute walk with a 3 year old would be pretty shit (torrential rain, sickness etc) so I would try and say that the cold is manageable and the kids are enjoying the ice but you’ll keep her offer in mind for other times when a lift would be handy.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/11/2024 10:55

It’s very old fashioned to think that being out in cold weather is going to make you ill, though perhaps it was more understandable when a lot of houses were very cold in winter, too.

A Swedish friend told me that it’s normal for children at school or daycare there, to play out whatever the weather, but of course they’ll be appropriately dressed - and it is often a lot colder there than in U.K. winters - except perhaps for the N of Scotland.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/11/2024 09:57

YANBU. Your MIL is being idiotic.