Secondary school does not allow D.Martens

Just buy the child some black fucking shoes...

I’m perplexed by the number of communications there appear to have been between OP and senior staff at the school. For a child who has been there less than three months, it seems an awful lot and if they’re all about this issue, even more so.

If OP started by contacting the form tutor, followed by head of year, as is the procedure in any school I know of, it seems to have escalated quickly.

You're making a rod for your back, encouraging your child to ignore rules she doesn’t like and to please herself. Unnecessarily so.

Non-steel capped DMs aren't any more dangerous than any other boot or shoe, I agree. But OP, part of what you need to teach your kid is how to pick her battles. Going to war with the school over this is taking up a lot of your mental energy and it's obviously having an effect on her relationship with her teachers as well. Remember, you go into school when you want to, you're an adult. She's not. She's got to go in there every day without you there and manage on her own. This isn't the hill you want to die on, is it? Or her to die on? I would tell her that you know the policy is silly, that you and she have made the point, and that it's time to buy some rules-compliant shoes now. You can have a lot of fun finding a pair of acceptable school shoes that are to all intents and purposes very similar to DMs.

They could, you know, choose to deal with the rampant bullying and violence before confronting the uniform issue. But then again, that would require them not to be incompetent clowns.

I agree that OP should just get acceptable shoes, as this fight is not worth it. I also think that the teachers on this thread need to get a grip and stop embarrassing our profession.

DMs are very fashionable right now and very expensive and I wonder if perhaps they are coming at this from the perspective that not every child can afford them and it's more of a fashion/'it' item they want to discourage?

Your attitude is the problem here. I suspect it's the same for a lot of parents and children at that school if it really is as you say.

Instead of working with school, you are working against them and encouraging the same from your child.

You sound like you are projecting your negativity about the school to your child. It's not surprising she will become fearful and insecure when you do that.

Find out what the acceptable shoes are. Buy them and make sure your child wears them to school. That will be one problem solved.

If she is ever on the receiving end of bullying. Make sure she communicates with you and deal with that if it happens.

You also don't know what school are doing behind the scenes to tackle instances of bullying that doesn't involve your daughter.

Fighting school on shoe policy isn't helpful to her.

I quite agree.

You could reason it as 'the school should be more concerned about tackling other issues than a pair of boots' You and your daughter could reason it that her education is far far more important than a pair of boots. It is a privilege to receive an education, a privilege that plenty in the world don't receive. Your daughter isn't being singled out or victimised. She's being asked to follow a reasonable school rule. I think you and dd both need to wind your neck in and have some respect tbh. Otherwise if you hate the school this much then get dd out in the real world sweeping some streets/waiting some tables and see how much better she feels in the real world without any qualifications.

I would be very surprised if any school uniform included Doc Martens. I've never seen them on a pupil at any secondary school near me. They may wear boots in bad weather for outdoor wear but fairly nondescript ones.

Not really. They're very different shoes.

Why though- kickers are shoes as they not? My children wore kickers but they weren’t boots?

the issue here is not the brand but the style of shoe

This x a million. What a waste of everyone’s time. Why is your DD so special that basic school rules don’t apply to her? You sounds exhausting and as though you are setting your child a terrible example. It never ceases to amaze me - the self-entitled idiocy of some parents. You better hope your child get that school transfer because you have burnt your bridges.

If they allow kickers, they should be fine.

Unfortunately although I see nothing wrong with the boots your dd made her own bed by stating they are to kick bullies when required. She should now be prepared to wear
footwear accepted by the school. Her transfer school may well have the same rules. She should be prepared to stick to & accept school rules. Fighting against them will only stir up unnecessary trouble for herself.

OP, the uniform policy of your DDs school is crystal clear. No boots of any kind. This is drama of your own creation.

I’ve never known a school allow DMs. Just buy your dc compliant footwear.

But the shoe style DM’s and the DM boots have the same sole.

My kids' school is probably one of the few locally who allow boots in general and wouldn't have a problem with DM boots. However it's not because it's a hive of bullying and you need to be able to defend yourself (although a good DM shoe to the shin was what finally stopped my own school bullies years ago) - it's cos the Head is sensible and school is on a hilly site that gets icy as fuck.

You can't argue that students at the school are out of control and then take issues with the staff when they try to get those same students to stick to the rules. Which is basically what the uniform policy does.

I was never allowed DMs either - you were sent home if you wore unsuitable shoes. I'm surprised they've been so lenient and had so many discussions with you and her about them, to be honest.

I think it should raise even greater red flags with the school that they are so unable to deal with bullying that a student would feel the need to say that.

Boot style DM’s were banned when I was at school 30 odd years ago. I always thought any boot style shoe was not allowed. The plain black shoe type are ok by the same company though. We had to colour the yellow stitching black one year I think. I remember when I was at school a particular canvas shoe was very en vogue but we all had to cut the red label on the tongue off or get in trouble. These sorts of rules are not new

My DS had DM school shoes, they were great, lasted years. the only rule his school said were no black trainers

that said, there were times where some of the boys had grown out of their school shoes by easter and getting new school shoe before summer holiday was not possible or even wise as they would grow even more over the summer, friends of mine had to have a few conversations about the trainers instead of shoes as a stop gap until the next term.