Secondary school does not allow D.Martens

Dd in Y7 - unfortunatelly we picked the wrong school, teachers don’t stay long, behaviour is appaling, bullying is not dealt with and I even found a video on YT of a parent beating up one of her child’s colleagues - a disabled girl (apparently club feet) at the school gates.
Dd says that disable girl is a bully but I don’t know the full story.

Anyway, the school uniform rules say black shoes. I let Dd use her black DM boots. The issue took an issue with it because DMs are not school shoes - but a lot of students wear kickers that looks like boots so I really don’t see a problem.
I’ve had notes sent home and a few meetings to discuss the matter. Everytime I tell then that they should be worried and using their time and energy to fix the real problems the school have, and the shoes Dd wears does not impact her learning.

Then in one of the meetings they asked Dd why she loves her DMs so much and why she is so attached to it and she reply along the lines that it is because it makes her feel safe as they are strong and sturdy and she feels that she can kick bullies if needed.

Now, Dd has never been involved in or accused of bullying and she is going from an confident / outgoing girl to fearful and insecure. I did not know this is how she felt about the DMs.

Now the school is using what she said against us, saying that she should not be encouraged to think about violence even if it is for self defence. Dd’s life now is hell as every school staff now comments on her DMs to her daily, all day long saying ‘those are not school shoes and you are breaking the rules’

I’m trying to convince her to buy a pair of kickers just so the harassment stops and she can actually focus on learning.

Yes I already applied for school transfer.

There is zero connection between disobeying uniform rules and being a bully. If I were a student at your school and you couldn’t even keep me safe from bullies, I would not have much use for you or your rules either. In fact, she might view her choice of shoes as one of the only things she can control in a chaotic and unsafe environment.

That is a basic principal of accountable government. People will only give up freedoms if the government can provide security in return.

So the teachers and senior staff at this school, given limited time and resources, are deliberately prioritizing uniform violations over addressing more important things like bullying?

That would seem to be evidence of gross incompetence.

Our school has no issue with DMs and honestly all the posters who think DMs are steel toe-capped are hilarious - they're a fashion boot that millions of people wear, not a deadly weapon.

In the 90s DMs were a bit 'out there' (when I first wore them). Today they're so mainstream no-one but Mumsnetters (and this school) seem to have an issue with them.

They are a standard, sturdy, fairly boring boot, and our local schools are fine with them.

OP, agree they are being ridiculous and hope you manage to move schools soon. You're right that their focus on footwear would be better spent on attendance and behaviour.

(Btw I have never believed that rigidly enforcing uniform rules teaches kids useful life lessons. I thought it was BS when I was 15 and still think it's the case now - I've never worn a uniform in my life and funnily enough still managed to get multiple degrees, many books published, and run successful businesses... )

No I’m not implying that. In fact, that is such an illogical interpretation of that sentence that I have to conclude you are not really a teacher.

Are you suggesting all bullies conform perfectly to uniform rules? Not following rules doesn’t make you a bully, but bullies tend not to follow them. And often talk about kicking and hurting people.

There is zero connection between disobeying uniform rules and being a bully. If I were a student at your school and you couldn’t even keep me safe from bullies, I would not have much use for you or your rules either. In fact, she might view her choice of shoes as one of the only things she can control in a chaotic and unsafe environment.

That is a basic principal of accountable government. People will only give up freedoms if the government can provide security in return.

Well nobody ever thinks their own angels are the problem do they? But in a supposed culture of bullying, there has to be bullies. Disobedient children, and their parents encouraging it are not unlikely to be part of the problem.
Not saying it is the case, but not every child can be innocent in these situations. Parents supporting the school would go a long way to help schools tackle these issues.

There are a fair number of supposed teachers on this thread who seem to have difficulties comprehending the written text and playing nicely with others. So I guess we’re both a bit surprised by the language we’re seeing.

Odd language for a supply teacher. I’ve just stopped being one after 5 years. 30+ before that in the classroom.

“Disobedient drama queen.” You have a bit of a nasty streak. Perhaps you’re so horrified at the idea of kicking a bully because you are one.

Is there rampant bullying though, or is OP raising a disobedient drama queen like herself? The head verified one episode of bullying. And OPs DD is the one who wants to kick people...

No, when a child takes active measures to start protecting themselves from abuse, it's rare they'll be lying. Please believe your children if they start taking such measures. They aren't just being "drama queens".

The only people on this thread that has issues with fabrication are those who tried to convince us that kickers aren't boots.

I am a supply teacher. So I’m referring to quite a few, though by no means a majority, of my fellow teachers who complain about lack of sanctions for serious misbehavior, up to and including acts of violence against students and staff.

@KillerTomato7 7

The person I was responding to had specifically said they couldn’t deal with major issues like bullying because they had to deal with uniform violations.

Specifically said that did I....
That they couldn't deal with major issues

A paragraph below which I actually wrote...

Do show me where I specifically wrote what you're saying I did

It's not as though your DD is given a different uniform list to the rest of the school, she's not being singled out and if parents did follow the simple rules there probably would be more time for teachers to concentrate on more important things like the bullying you talk of.

Are you a teacher or not? Earlier you were writing about ‘our profession’. Now you are talking about ‘teachers’ or are you just bullshitting and stirr8ng?

Is there rampant bullying though, or is OP raising a disobedient drama queen like herself? The head verified one episode of bullying. And OPs DD is the one who wants to kick people...

The rampant violence in the school as OP has outlined and the head has verified.

From what exactly?

An 11 year old who wants to defend herself.

We don't actually know that the school doesn't tackle bullying though. We have a single yt video (of a grown woman beating a disabled child outside of school) and the word of an 11 year old who wants to kick people and a mother who thinks rules don't apply to her child.

They're both boots. You've finally got it.