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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this way about society perceptions?

31 replies

Autumnal589 · 27/11/2024 21:15

That a woman, especially an older one of say 40 is still judged by whether she has a man or kids ? I remember when my aunt turned 40 many years back now and my brother commented with 'She hasn't had kids or married so I get why she's down about being 40.' Also on MN, I have been told "You don't have kids or a man so you just have to be really good at your job to be worthy.'

OP posts:
DamselinDistress24 · 27/11/2024 21:28

Autumnal589 · 27/11/2024 21:21

I guess so.
Just sad that in 2024, this is still the case. It makes me feel I have little or no value. That I am just a glaring red flag.

You set your own value.

What is important to you - how do you achieve and enjoy those things?

Your aim is presumably to have a happy, fulfilling, useful (?) life; I'd focus on that.

I wouldn't worry about what some people think .....ateotd a lot of people are not very intelligent and not very nice.

Silenus · 27/11/2024 21:24

Who is doing the judging?

Autumnal589 · 27/11/2024 21:21

I guess so.
Just sad that in 2024, this is still the case. It makes me feel I have little or no value. That I am just a glaring red flag.

OP posts:
tilypu · 27/11/2024 21:19

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 27/11/2024 21:16

It isn't any different for men though, who are judged as though there's something wrong with them if they're still single at 40. It's nothing to do with being a woman.

I agree with this. I know a woman who got a lot of stick because she was seeing a man in his early 40s - because he hadn't had a long term relationship before. They've been together six years now, and are very happy - thankfully she paid no attention to other people's petty biases.

Bluelane · 27/11/2024 21:18

I’m not sure it differs much for men who are single and child free at 40. I suspect most on MN would view it as a “red flag”.

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 27/11/2024 21:16

It isn't any different for men though, who are judged as though there's something wrong with them if they're still single at 40. It's nothing to do with being a woman.

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