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Original poster

Neighbour won’t change Wi-Fi password

347 replies

bluestoneboys · 27/11/2024 20:46

Backstory - I get on pretty well with my neighbour, kids same age etc and my son used to go to school with them and loves to go over and hang out on occasion, while he was over there, neighbour let him use the Wi-Fi and he memorised the password (they know his history etc and that he has a brain like a sponge and a photographic memory)
now I can’t keep him off the Wi-Fi (at home he’s only ever had access to my personal hotspot so that I can completely limit access)
eventually I plan on getting him an iPad (probably for Christmas) so that I can download apps that can keep him safe as he’s permanently screaming at me when I say no YouTube etc as I don’t think it is appropriate for an 8yo
Now I’ve sussed out that he’s been hooked up to her Wi-Fi for about 2 weeks and has been sneaking time on his laptop overnight which fills me with anxiety about what he’s possibly doing on there. But she’s said she can’t change the password as that is too complicated etc
obv I know he’s my responsibility but given everything else he’s got going on and neighbour is aware I found it quite odd that she couldn’t change it in an effort to 1) stop him freeloading off her and 2) keep him safe
as of today I’ve now removed his laptop from him completely as it’s the only option I have currently to stop him, but he’s been flat out screaming and shouting for an hour now because his laptop is ‘very special’ to him as it’s where he stores all his work for homeschooling and also pictures of his pets (especially ones who have died) and he can get quite sentimental and sees this as a bit of an attack from me now
AIBU to ask her to change it to something he doesn’t know or was I out of line?

OP posts:
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 28/11/2024 07:34

bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:00

I’m in my 20s, so would say quite
but this laptop is old

Show quote history

ah, fair enough.bYou‘re therefore aware of private browsing, using different browsers, selectively deleting parts of your browser history, using various apps etc.

I would change the password if I was your neighbour. But your neighbour(s) won’t, which is understandable as well.

You will therefore need to find other ways to manage your DS’s access to the internet. And yes, I would lock his laptop away if he „steals“ it during the night.

Could you do a bit of a digital / screen detox? Preferably for the entire family?

Whyherewego · 28/11/2024 07:33

bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:30

I locked it in car last night, but the cold is not good for the battery

Show quote history

Makes literally zero odds on a laptop that old

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:31

BabbleBee · 28/11/2024 07:29

I’m ignoring the posts from people who have no idea how aggressive and determined an autistic child can be and think that the OP’s situation has a simple solution.

@bluestoneboys does he have an EHCP, a social worker or any other outside support?

no ehcp but does have a new SW as of yesterday as he disclosed SA from his dad, after already being abused previously by dads mum!

OP posts:
Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:30

JawsCushion · 28/11/2024 07:22

Buy a lockable box. Put it in the car. If you want to stop your child doing something it is always possible. Even if you have to try a few things first.

I locked it in car last night, but the cold is not good for the battery

OP posts:
BabbleBee · 28/11/2024 07:29

I’m ignoring the posts from people who have no idea how aggressive and determined an autistic child can be and think that the OP’s situation has a simple solution.

@bluestoneboys does he have an EHCP, a social worker or any other outside support?

JawsCushion · 28/11/2024 07:22

Buy a lockable box. Put it in the car. If you want to stop your child doing something it is always possible. Even if you have to try a few things first.

Chasingsquirrels · 28/11/2024 07:20

Changing my WiFi password is a massive pita, when I change provider I rename the router & change the password to be the old router name amd have done for years.

However blocking a specific device from my network is easy, and I'd happily do that for you. Try asking the neighbour to do that.

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:17

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 07:16

I'm not being condescending, lots of advice has been given.

You are though

OP posts:
SallyLo · 28/11/2024 07:17

@bluestoneboys considering the circumstances if I was your neighbour I’d change my password in a heartbeat !

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 07:16

I'm not being condescending, lots of advice has been given.

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:16

SpringleDingle · 28/11/2024 07:13

I am assuming your kid is ND as that sounds just like my niece who is. It’s incredibly hard to limit her screen time and her emotional reactions to having devices removed are extreme and out of proportion. You need to research if it is possible to block access to a specific network but I can see why you asked the neighbour to change it. Small thing for her to do to save you an ocean of ND pain!!

Yes ND and SA victim, and also the only electronic device he has access to currently

OP posts:
Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:14

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 07:08

It clearly isn't locked away if he's taking it while you are asleep though is it? You seem to have an awful lot or reasons why you can't do anything but expect others to do it for you. Get better passwords, get better locks, this is all for you to do and establish boundaries. As a PP has already said, the age of that laptop is such that it can't run adequate security systems. If you are hell bent on buying more up to date devices, you need to pay a professional in security, IT or home, to ensure that it cannot be accessed. I have a very tech savvy DC, he was not able to override the tools I had in place.

And to be honest, I don’t think there is any need to be condescending. You clearly, luckily for you and your children, have no real understanding of the situation I am in. Obviously I’m HELL BENT on getting more uptodate devices, it’s a necessity for homeschooling to the standard that is required in my sons case.

OP posts:
SpringleDingle · 28/11/2024 07:13

I am assuming your kid is ND as that sounds just like my niece who is. It’s incredibly hard to limit her screen time and her emotional reactions to having devices removed are extreme and out of proportion. You need to research if it is possible to block access to a specific network but I can see why you asked the neighbour to change it. Small thing for her to do to save you an ocean of ND pain!!

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:10

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 07:08

It clearly isn't locked away if he's taking it while you are asleep though is it? You seem to have an awful lot or reasons why you can't do anything but expect others to do it for you. Get better passwords, get better locks, this is all for you to do and establish boundaries. As a PP has already said, the age of that laptop is such that it can't run adequate security systems. If you are hell bent on buying more up to date devices, you need to pay a professional in security, IT or home, to ensure that it cannot be accessed. I have a very tech savvy DC, he was not able to override the tools I had in place.

I don’t think you actually read it

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 07:08

It clearly isn't locked away if he's taking it while you are asleep though is it? You seem to have an awful lot or reasons why you can't do anything but expect others to do it for you. Get better passwords, get better locks, this is all for you to do and establish boundaries. As a PP has already said, the age of that laptop is such that it can't run adequate security systems. If you are hell bent on buying more up to date devices, you need to pay a professional in security, IT or home, to ensure that it cannot be accessed. I have a very tech savvy DC, he was not able to override the tools I had in place.

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 07:00

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 28/11/2024 06:57

How good are you with technology/ are you IT savvy?

Show quote history

I’m in my 20s, so would say quite
but this laptop is old

OP posts:
Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:58

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 06:57

Lock it away.

I did, if you read my response above

OP posts:
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 28/11/2024 06:57

bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:55

He’s watching horse videos. Never found anything bad in history.
but he’s very protective of it

Show quote history

How good are you with technology/ are you IT savvy?

Glittertwins · 28/11/2024 06:57

Lock it away.

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:55

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 28/11/2024 06:51

I would not necessarily do it for somebody else but I would definitely do it for my own safety. Giving somebody access to your WiFi is a very bad idea.

but if I was OP I would be worried about her DS‘s reaction to her taking the laptop. What is he doing online??

Show quote history

He’s watching horse videos. Never found anything bad in history.
but he’s very protective of it

OP posts:
Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:53

RosieLeaf · 28/11/2024 06:51

Now I’ve sussed out that he’s been hooked up to her Wi-Fi for about 2 weeks and has been sneaking time on his laptop overnight which fills me with anxiety about what he’s possibly doing on there

Show quote history

As above, he will go to steal it back in the middle of the night

OP posts:
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 28/11/2024 06:51

Wellingtonspie · 27/11/2024 20:50

If we change our password we have to go and take down the ring camera and reset it via the button and redo the million devices. Am I doing that for a neighbours kid stealing my internet? No

However if you can give me the device name I’ll ban it from my router.

I would not necessarily do it for somebody else but I would definitely do it for my own safety. Giving somebody access to your WiFi is a very bad idea.

but if I was OP I would be worried about her DS‘s reaction to her taking the laptop. What is he doing online??

RosieLeaf · 28/11/2024 06:51

bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:49

I do this anyway

Show quote history

Now I’ve sussed out that he’s been hooked up to her Wi-Fi for about 2 weeks and has been sneaking time on his laptop overnight which fills me with anxiety about what he’s possibly doing on there

Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:49

RosieLeaf · 28/11/2024 06:47

Then you’ll have to remove the laptop from him physically.

I do this anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
bluestoneboys · 28/11/2024 06:49

Wonderi · 28/11/2024 06:41

YABVU

This is your responsibility, not your neighbours.

Where does it end?
Are you going to go around to every single neighbour and tell them not to do this and that etc.

He may be challenging but it is still your responsibility to parent him and find a way that works for you.
It is not up to other people to help you parent him.

There are very simple things you can do like putting parental controls on things, so he cannot access bad stuff or locking the laptop away at night.
But considering you’re not doing these things and just expecting the neighbours to make things easier, suggests you’re a pretty lazy parent.

I am doing these things, but there’s a limit, because last time I took away the laptop, we were in hospital an hour later (last weekend!
the laptop is locked away between 6- midday the next day, he only has access to it between 12-2.30 and 5-6 and this is for work.
last week I took it at 6 but he broke everything in his path trying to get it, he did not get it, I put it in safe the next night & he hurt himself because he decided nobody cared for him or loved him and then we were in hospital for 4 days.
I’m not a lazy parent, but unfortunately there’s no support for parents of suicidal children who’ve been abused all their lives

OP posts:
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