If men were left to organise Christmas themselves

We do a very low key Christmas compared to some, and did even when my children were small. I'm Danish and I celebrate similarly to how my grandparents did, which IMO is just right - not too much, not too little. Very little stress, very little hassle - I can't abide an overwrought Christmas.

And I don't believe in martyrdom, that scourge of womanhood passed down from generation to generation in many households, affecting daughters and sons negatively. I absolutely will not play that game.

One year we went out very late on the 23rd to buy everything for Christmas dinner/feasting. It was great! It helps that we're both good cooks, of course, so we could have made something lovely out of whatever we might've found.

It's almost the Christmas Month! Wishing you all a peaceful and relaxing festive season. 🎄🎄🎄

I remember one year I got all the Christmas dinner ready....put it all in the oven, got all the veg ready, etc. Settled down with a nice glass of port. After about an hour I thought I'll go and check on the food. My dearly departed husband had turned the oven off. 😭 We were all so hungry by that stage. He had just done it out of habit, you know that thing you do last thing at night, when you go round checking all the appliances are off. 😂 If he were here and was in charge of Christmas, we'd no doubt have a cold dinner, but I'd give anything to have him back.

Ours would be normal, 50/50 split of all duties as always.

The 1950s called OP, they'd like you back with them.

It would continue to pass us by, since neither of us celebrates it.

Not sure what is worse the 'useless' men or the women who fall for it then do nothing but accept it but complain constantly about it

The Christmas tree would go up in November (had to insist we did it next weekend not this weekend) and carols would be playing everyday. Food would be simpler but fine with more short cuts and bought desserts (I do all the cooking by choice most of the time and he is out of practice). Kids gifts would be exactly the awful plastic tat they wanted rather then the nice mix of stuff I get them. I'm not sure if he would bother with stockings, would just give them a present to open early instead. There would be zero homemade gifts for any family. Gifts would be perfectly wrapped but no frills.

Or he would insist we go abroad to an all inclusive resort which we might do next year..

It would be about the same here.

Amazing, as it always is. My DH is a wonderful cook, so the meal is always perfect. He's up early cooking and gets the table ready.
He chooses great gifts, lovely decorations - and he's great at clearing up!
That's been 40 years, now 😊
There are some capable, decent men who always make an effort. Our adult DS is also good at cooking and buying gifts!

Everyone would get amazing fantastic high tech presents but he would forget half the people we buy for...

Decorations would go up in November and he would be sick of them by first week of December....

He would start planning food and drink on the 23rd December and then have to do some mental reshuffling in tescos on the 24th when he can't get what he wanted. He would also forget stuffing, sauces, Maybe gravy and definitely turkey. He would also forget to start cooking because playing with new stuff is more fun, dinner would end up being around 10pm and everything ready to eat at wildly different times.....

Would completely forget and abandon things like Christmas cards, advent calendars and school nativity costumes but he would absolutely book every single festive grotto, light trail and event going....

Basically him and the kids would have a great time, he wouldn't stress about anything at all and I could probably learn a thing or two from him! And although the first year would be a disaster, if he did it every year by about the 5th one he'd be a dab hand.

@Silenus I definitely agree with the martyrdom bit - it's crazy to me! I'm very grateful I married a man who is like me in that respect...

@SallyWD I can only imagine my parents' reaction if I'd wanted a Polar Breakfast or for them to arrange Elf on the Shelf - they would have politely told me "fat bloody chance"

Or, my dad's favourite line of "when you're paying and organising it, you're free to do whatever you like!"

If left to dh, we'd have amazing roasts or bbq, cheese and snacks. Maybe potatoes and some fruit for later.
Both mine and his family would be invited and when people ask if they can bring anything he'd probably ask them to bring some veg dishes.

It’s performative stress and chosen martyrdom, largely. I literally don’t give any thought to Christmas, apart from if DS wants something abstruse as a present that needs to be ordered and sending some cards, till the week before, and I thoroughly enjoy what little preparation is necessary. Christmas is fun.

I think the giant kerfuffle from some posters on here, who are stressing in late August, is from very low-energy people who struggle with day to day life, and find minor ‘extras’ unbearable.

We would still have a usual Christmas but with a lot of broken kitchen ware and a few more swear words …

Imagine if women could drive? What a wonderful thing that would be

Exactly - men are as capable as women. From reading this thread, some women are control freaks and others should have made better choices as they are married to useless men.

Ad there are all these new things people do - polar breakfasts, elf on the shelf, Christmas eve box etc. I can't keep up with it all. We keep it simple bit it's perfectly lovely.

We’d have an amazing Christmas meal, amongst shoddy decor and only my son would get a gift. His entire family would be there.

However if reversed we’d have substandard food in a beautiful, gift filled home, with only us in it! Definitely needs both of us!

TBH when I read a lot of the Christmas threads on here I wonder why so many posters seem to make so much work for themselves for a single day.

I grew up in a household where Christmas was celebrated but in a very low-key way. We did stockings, breakfast, a family walk and then spent the day at home playing board games and watching Christmas TV before dinner at about 7pm.

I genuinely don't recognise even half the stuff people talk about as though it's essential - buffets, cheese boards, inviting 20 relatives or driving to ten different houses to see as many people as possible - sounds awful to me 😂

I think my list is probably longer than 23 😂 (though I would break things down more than your lists do, into individual tasks). My task list is more like:

1. make list of everyone to send Christmas cards to
2. sort and donate toys no longer played with to make room for inevitable influx of new stuff
3. send Christmas list for child to family (if requested by them)
4. write and post Christmas cards
5. book activities for child - Santa visit, woodland lights walk, etc
6. make list of gifts to buy
7. buy wrapping paper
8. buy gifts
9. buy advent calendars
10. wrap gifts
11. plan Christmas menu (we don’t eat the same thing every year so have to decide what to make)
12. make Christmas cake
13. make Christmas pudding
14. decorate Christmas cake
15. buy food shop
16. buy Christmas tree
17. collect winter foliage for decoration
18. visit Christmas market
19. make mince pies to keep in freezer
20. attend Carol service
21. check Christmas lights work ahead of decorating
22. make small homemade gifts (mulled wine syrup / jars of shortbread etc for unexpected guests
23. make child’s nativity / show costume
24. big pre-Christmas tidy
25. buy crackers
26. Decorate
27. Make Christmas dinner
28. take down decorations
29. clean up

There are probably a lot of other things I do each year which I’m forgetting! However, I am aware that a lot of it is not required and I do it because I love it and it makes me happy. I don’t find it stressful, it’s joyful.

My husband wouldn’t do everything on that list, though he shares the work equally with me at present. He would certainly do a very nice Christmas with all the important bits himself.

My husband and Dad would both make a decent job of it. They’re good cooks and gift buyers, and they like the process of decorating for Christmas so it would get done. My husband is good at booking things and thinking of activities for our child.

Neither would go to the full extent my mum and I do, but it certainly wouldn’t be a disaster, both would absolutely manage a very pleasant Christmas with all the main constituents!

I suspect a lot of men wouldn’t be as good as they are though. You see a lot of women posting on mumsnet about how useless and selfish their husbands are. If a man has spent forever being handed Christmas on a plate with no effort required from themselves, they would be hopeless at making it happen themselves.

Our house would be decked in the trashiest christmas Dec's and lights, no cards would have been done and food would be from Iceland and deep fried and saturated in chilli.

As for presents, they'd be bought on 23rd and hastily wrapped.

Maybe he'll improve, we are only in year 3 and DD is 2!

I disagree. Men just tend not to sweat the little detail. It's just a roast dinner with crackers

Women Tend to put way too much pressure on themselves

lol at the accusations of anti-men feeling when in fact women are speaking from their own experiences. Like in a Christmas Carol, the Ghosts of NAMALT

I think some men would organise a lovely Christmas. My brother organised it last year and it was fantastic. However, if my DH organised it, it would be very lacklustre. No decorations, probably beams on toast and some last minute presents. He has absolutely no interest in Christmas.