If men were left to organise Christmas themselves

Agreed! I don’t know why so many women seem to put up with it? It’s basically like having another child?

True.
If men are so incapable of doing basic tasks then how the fuck do they function in the world? How the fuck do they rule the fucking world? How are men out there doing all kinds of jobs yet come home and apparently don't know how to boil an egg and forget christmas exists?

When some women say oh my man doesn't know what to do tee hee isn't he silly, I do all this stuff because he wouldn't know how and our children would go without... they don't seem to realise that what they're actually saying is I am with someone who doesn't give a flying fuck about things that matter to his family.

Not really a laughing matter tbh

Agree it's a site-wide phenomenon, it's also fascinating to me. I think there's a correlation between being stuck on traditional gender stereotypes and having a low bar (because the traditional stereotype is for a man to be judged on being a big strong provider who goes out to work but can't comprehend anything domestic). There's an implication that being able to cook, tidy up or decorate isn't masculine. And being bad at those things is unfeminine.

Which is interesting to me as DP and I are the reverse of those things. The real question for us is what Xmas would look like if I was left to organise it. We have the same vision of what we want it to be (low to zero effort on decoration/trees/tat; as much socialising as we can fit in; going all in on food for a week) but his practical execution is much superior to mine. If I tried to cook the same meals they would be sad flops, not delicious feasts.

I do most of Christmas, don't blame us all if you picked a waster to marry.

Well that's a disappointingly lazy trope that gets rolled out around Xmas, just like the "men take all the credit for BBQs..." one that does the rounds in the summer.

Plan, buy and cook all the food.
Organise and buy most of the presents
Deal with huffiness of OH when they're expected to wrap half the gifts
Buy and wrap all the stocking fillers
Buy, write and post most of the Xmas cards ("Have you only written ones for your family..?!" No, I've written all of them apart from your family, because I though you might like to do that.)
Along with that, work a 40+ hour week and provide the sole regular income to the household.

But perhaps my wife is just too distracted by flowers and kittens, or organising something as important as a family christmas is too much for her delicate womanly brain...🙄

In my house it would be absolutely fine. The only difference would be our tree would be put up halfway through December and not at the start 😀

You see that all the time on here — it’s fascinating. I think it must be to avoid admitting to yourself that your bar is low, and that you chose poorly when it came to a husband/partner. Far easier to say ‘Oh, men can’t see dirt, bless them!’ than to admit you married someone strategically incompetent (or actually incompetent) while other men are perfectly capable of working for a living while looking after their own kids, shopping, cooking, and remembering to call their parents and buy birthday presents.

It would be perfect. Dh is as enthusiastic about Christmas as I am and does more than his fair share of the work. He's been ordering presents for the kids for weeks. He's brilliant.

The main meal would be cracking.

The little extra bits not so much like stockings and crackers would be an afterthought

The booze trolley would be well stocked

The gift wrapping would be hit and miss

There’s an interesting tendency emerging here.

The women whose men would do it well mostly say, ‘my man can do it’.

But the women whose men wouldn’t do it well mostly say, ‘no man can do it’.

So, it’s not that they chose a man who’s iincompetent. All men are.

Much the same but without the four weeks of stress.

In our house I do the wrapping and cooking. My husband does the decorating and is much better at present buying for everyone.
If left to either of us alone it would be worse- but he would probably be better than me overall.

Your experience doesn't, fortunately, seem to be the norm. In fact, quite the opposite :)

There would be more pre-bought food, there would be more drink, there would be a lot less fuss and hassle because there would be less pressure to make a "perfect" Christmas, more a "good enough" one.

Christmas just isn't really their forte.

In your experience but not universal.

I've made sure my DS’s do their share too. Now they plan their Christmas shopping day, buy and wrap thoughtful gifts and as I said above help with cooking Christmas dinner. They decorate their own flats.

Some men may need kicking into shape…😉 others need the opportunity. I was determined that from a very young age my DS’s had none of my DF’s ‘woman’s work/lazy/selfish’ attitudes.

You absolutely DID start this as a man- bashing thread!

Don't deny it just because it hasn't gone your way.

It would be the same in our house. It just wouldn’t occur to him.

i do loads of stuff, we do a European Christmas market, dinner at a special restaurant on the 23rd, a day in London with my cousin and family with brunch at the Wolsey, eve box, stockings, fortnum delivery etc etc.

but I dint find it at all stressful as I start early and do a bit all each day.DP just st doesn’t have the mindset and couldn’t be arsed!

God, I can’t imagine. He’s a ‘fully functional adult’, but has never ‘done’ Christmas. I do it all, always and of course it’s grown each year as we’ve had children etc. so I wouldn’t expect him to suddenly do it all. I’ve learnt over the years.

the cooking would be fine, it would be the extras that wouldn’t happen…the Eve box, all the presents, the social things, the cards, the fortnum order, advent calendars.

but it would happen in some form .

In our house there would be lots of lovely, well cooked food, and lots of alcohol. Guests wouldn't have clean bedding or bathroom and there would be a few (unwrapped) presents , not necessarily anything that anyone asked for!

I think the essentials would be perfect.

I can't see presents for anyone but immediate family and friends ( not a bad thing). Less inclination to visit/invite family members for the day.

There would be a distinct change over from Boxing Day to bit in the middle, to New Year.

Actually, I should defend DH as well. When I am at home, he tends to be very involved once it is at his own pace. He does a lot of shopping once we've talked it through and he has very good ideas about things. He does a lot of the cleaning and cooking.

But last year was particularly stressful for me, and also for him. So me not being around to quietly nudge and support, was very noticeable.

We wouldn't get a tree or any presents. But there would be plenty of booze and cheese.

It would be fine, it would just be different.

Er, no, this thread has gone very much against that lazy trope.