I dropped a long-term friend seven years ago. She’d always had a selfish streak, but was a good friend in many other ways, so I let certain things go. However, her behaviour just got worse and worse. I’d helped her through a really bad time, but just a few months later I lost two close relatives in quick succession and didn’t even get a “How are you coping?” text. I was mugged when we were on holiday; she complained I was ruining things by “going on about it”. The last straw was when she ranted at me and posted shit about me on Facebook for not inviting her on a reunion night with my old work colleagues, whom she’d never met. I’d just had enough.
It took three days before she tried to come crawling back. She’d left me a very breezy voicemail (you can, or at least you could, still do that when blocked) joking about our “little spat”. When she realised I wasn’t going to respond, she switched to approaching mutual friends and asking them to act as go-betweens.
As time went on, she didn’t stop trying and ended up approaching more and more distant connections. Many of these mutual friends have now deleted her, either because she was hassling them so much about me (one friend said she kept messaging even when he said he was in the final days of writing his thesis) or because of her bizarre behaviour in general. This has been a blessing for me as she has fewer and fewer ways to try to contact me - but to be honest, I had hoped time would have resolved the issue anyway.
But apparently not. I was away with some friends at the weekend and her name came up in conversation. One of my friends said, “Oh, that reminds me - she messaged me asking about you the other day”. My heart sank. Apparently she’d sent my friend a picture of the two of us together that she’d come across the other day, and wanted to pass it on to me 🙄 My friend didn’t respond to her.
Am I alone in thinking this is getting quite creepy now? It’s been SEVEN YEARS. I can understand her thinking for a few weeks, or even months, that she might be able to put things right, but to still be chasing people for information on me years later? It’s deranged. Why would I want a copy of a picture of myself with someone I have actively avoided contacting for seven years? If a former romantic partner did this, people would be genuinely concerned.
I don’t really know if there’s anything I can do. It’s not like she’s threatened me or turned up at my house or place of work. I did consider writing to her to state that I never wanted her to contact me ever again or to chase mutual friends about me, but I get the feeling that any contact would be seen as encouragement to engage. Do I just wait and hope she finally pisses off everyone who even vaguely connects us?!
I don’t even know if there’s a solution. I think I just need some reassurance that I’m not overreacting to be creeped out by this!!