AIBU that husband is going out too much?

I didn’t mean to be harsh and I’m sorry. But you sound like you want time away from children. You even seem to resent all your friends having children and not being free on the evenings and weekends.

I did t say anything about going out on the piss.

Try a book club or knitting/crochet group where you get a variety of ages, not just breastfeeding mums.

To address your question I can see how you are worried that If he continues adding social events it will end up eating into your family time together.

What about a day together as a family most weekends, such as Sunday walk or park, picnic lunch, afternoon family film back at home, snacks and games in the evening? Then you've always got something to look forward to all together.

It sounds like you see friends on the two days a week you have off? It’s not his fault he and his friends have to work and can only meet up on evenings or weekends. Are weekday evenings really much of an issue? My husband and I try and meet up with friends separately during the week as you’re not really missing out on that much, just the couple of hours bedtime, or you can go out after bedtime and miss nothing!

Your friends won’t be stuck indoors in the evening forever, you could even go round to them for dinner/takeaway and catch up once the children are in bed.

It doesn't preclude him from building up a normal level of social life outside the home.

This doesn't sound like very much at all, sorry!

Not too much at all. I go out more than that and I have 3 kids.

It isn’t his fault that his friends are more available than yours.

But you could visit them?

It feels you've fallen into a mindset of "I have a young child so I can't leave the house". Even when DH has actually taken the young child out with him!

I agree with others; either be more inventive about seeing current friends (or even having a long chat with one on the phone would probably make you feel less isolated), look at solo activities that are just for you, or join clubs etc to meet more people.

That’s all unfortunate, but I don’t see why it means your husband can’t go out?

It doesn't sound particularly excessive to me and it's healthy to build up a social circle. You don't have to base one around other mothers and it's not his fault that he's built one and you haven't.

I agree OP, sorry. It probably feels like he’s out a lot because you’re not. I get that it’s hard with friends and kids, but unless your friends have little tiny babies, it sounds like they’re making excuses not to go out. That’s probably not personal, more likely that they’re tired or can’t be bothered. Shame.

I go out a lot more than my DH, he’s an introvert and I’m not. He doesn’t hold it against me and probably enjoys the evenings I’m not here! I think when a whole weekend day is taken up socialising without kids regularly then that can become incompatible with family life, but your DH seems to do most of his socialising in the evenings, or takes your DC sometimes on the weekends. Can’t you go with them?

But you could both go out once or twice a week and still have time together.

and you do get to meet with friends when you go out on your days off.

No it's not to much. 5 days out of 30. He's still home the other 25 odd nights.
You do sound jealous op.

I think your frustration is coming more from you not being able to do something for you. It would be more healthy if you could do something too... his socialising sounds pretty healthy tbh.

It is nowhere near too much. You sound like you resent him having time away from children and adult company. Are you sure you want another baby? I was a bit taken aback when you mentioned the IVF as you sound like you want more time without children around.

You really need to widen your social circle - try a new hobby group or similar.

You never know, you might meet nice new friends who are older or younger and aren't trapped in babyhood right now.

You need to make your own friends, you can't be jealous because he has friends.

Once a week and once a month that's 5 maybe 6 nights a month. You sound super controlling.

I think you need to try and expand your social circle. It's not your husband's fault he has a friendship group to socialise with and you don't. He isn't out an excessive amount at all.

Sorry but it doesn't strike me as at all unreasonable. Especially if he were happy to do the same for you.

I think it's important you build up your own circle of friends so you feel less resentful at what is your husbands fairly moderate social life.

i also think his friends not having children isn't a problem. He's not going out because they're making him. He's going out because he likes being with them. I have loads of friends without children as quite frankly being a mother is a part of my life but I very much enjoy breaks from things to do with children. Your world can become very small if you think once you have children you can only associate with people who have children.

If he's generally a good supportive partner then I can't see a problem.

You're counting one Christmas party as part of the 'too much'! YABU.
"If his friends had children" is irrelevant, they don't!
"I have no one to go out with other than mum friends on my days off." So you do have friends, and you do meet up with them.

You're sounding very selfish here.