To be fed up with an education system that ignores bright but quiet kids.

It’s nothing to do with funding. Praise and ‘points’ cost nothing. Your kid is easy for the teacher so they don’t need need to motivate them to change their behaviour so they don’t bother. Some teachers make an effort to encourage all the children in their care some don’t.

There are too many children in a class in the state school system so the teacher can't cater for everyone - especially given the very onerous admin requirements placed upon them by OFTSED rules.

What I've found is that different schools excel in different things, and it's about finding a school that fits what your child needs.

Some schools are excellent with SEN and with supporting pastoral needs. Children here can thrive even though they may have been excluded from previous schools. Very able children may feel bored in these schools as they're not being stretched or challenged sufficiently.

Some schools are absolutely brilliant in coaching top-performing children. Their focus is on stretching the most able children and there's a heavy academic push. SEN/less able children really struggle in these schools.

Other schools are amazing for vocational stuff, like music or sports. Even at primary school level, although admittedly more common at secondary.

I was a school governor for 5+ years. Teachers honestly have an impossible job. Unless you're in a large primary where the classes are separated by ability sets (very rare) all the teacher can do is accommodate the most pressing needs and do their best with the rest. It's a very different case in private schools and not because the teachers are better - it's that they have smaller classes and can actually do the kind of teaching that suits each individual child (SIL is a primary teacher in private school).

I would also argue that in many cases it's not the bright, quiet children who are pushed to one side in the big classes in state schools - it's the quiet children of any ability. Teaching unfortunately is so often about fire-fighting and the quiet children inadvertently are often overlooked, or given less attention that they deserve.

If your child isn't achieving what you think is important, then do you research on the other local schools. There will absolutely be alternatives where more able children thrive - it's a pain but if you feel this is an issue, then you need to change schools. We did this in Y1 btw, so I know what a pain it is!

Yeah, right...
Or maybe her daughter should be given more challenging tasks so she needs to work harder too.
So that all children, independently from their abilities, develop into people who know that they can get better through working hard.

Some people see the aim of education as getting everybody to the same level of proficiency.
But that's not right.
That damages children by having some fail while other coast along, which is very damaging as well, and might prevent them from getting as good as they can be.
It also destroys their self confidence.

My DCs primary school newsletter was full of celebrations relating to sport and dance prowess. The children who represented the school in sports were praised repeatedly. The children who represented the school in academic events were not mentioned. In a community where education is not valued, academic skills were totally overlooked. All teaching and resources were focused on getting children who were borderline SATs passes over the threshold of a pass. If a child was a secure pass, they were left to get on alone.

That's quite true.
Once I was called with another student in front of the class because in an essay we had both hinted that we were called the same unspeakable things home.
I was the quiet and friendly one, I hid in books to escape abuse, so I did well in school. He was a bully preying on the weak, which did not boost his academic performance quite as much; we reacted differently.
When the teacher asked us why we were treated like that, I could only reply "because that's true, that's what I am". To which the other student nodded, frantically approving, he too was abused because that's what he deserved.
We were not different in thinking that of ourselves, but we reacted differently.

It was all pretty embarrassing, but, with hindsight, the bullies started mistreating me less after that. They did not think anymore that I had a perfect life I guess.

What I learned in general is that parents who think that their kids are not listening, that their kids are not affected, that for some reason easily given hate and abuse is easily forgotten, should be revoked parental licence.

Maybe you need to find another school.
If the current schools average level is such that even the challenging tasks are too easy for your child, it could be difficult for the school to tailor things to very different ability levels.

My DS school uses an online system called sparks which allows for doing additional home work tailored to the student level. Meaning that even top set students will be faced with challenging material if they go the extra mile and do the additional homework. I understand that teachers will recognize that additional effort in class.

You could always ask explicitly to the school if they would consider giving your child additional homework AND recognize their efforts if they do it.

If they can't help with that and moving school is not an option, you could do DIY.
Brilliant.org and similar sites have challenging materials, for STEM, and a points/certificates system. Coursera and futurelearn have certificates.
If your child enjoys that kind of challenge, you could celebrate every new unit or certificate they achieve. It is not the same as having the school recognizing it, but maybe sufficient to keep you child motivated and happy.

Relatively to the problem of being too quiet, I can sympathise.
Our DS is just like that. He does well but teachers always commented that he could participate more, ask more questions. He is just uncomfortable with the attention.
A few years ago he qualified for a bafta with a game he programmed. And he was adamant that the school should know nothing of it. Which I respected. Its work and effort, his choice.
However, now that he is applying for A levels, I told him he should put that and other things in his applications.
Schools, universities and employers are not going to dig out proof of hidden talents from people who hide them.
So it is up to the kids to learn that there is a difference between bragging, shameless self promoting or simply highlighting their own skills when needed, even if that means attracting some attention.

You can make this exact same argument the other way - education is set up to take kids to a certain functional level. So there is no reason to spend on kids that can't reach that level, taking resources from those who could meet or exceed that standard and contribute most productively to society

You do realise that many kids that struggle at school can still contribute successfully to society?! In the same way that kids that achieve the grades can still end up not contributing as successful as you assume…

All kids have different abilities and it’s a teachers role to make sure they’re all included and catered for. If people aren’t happy with that then they are free to go off and pay

You can make this exact same argument the other way - education is set up to take kids to a certain functional level. So there is no reason to spend on kids that can't reach that level, taking resources from those who could meet or exceed that standard and contribute most productively to society.

If parents want special provision for kids who struggle academically they need to provide it themselves.

If either of those things were the real goal of the education system I'd think they should be trying to make private provision as easy as possible for parents rather than trying to make it out of reach.

But I am not convinced that is the goal actually, as I understand it it is to help all kids reach their academic potential. Not only for their own good, but for the good of society.

https://world-gifted.org/

There are gifted and talented initiatives in many schools. There is a gifted and talented society especially for children like yours. Look on line. A good teacher should be diversifying for all children and have specific reward schemes for each group of children. It's a real opportunity to enrich the whole class and a great way of including your children and enriching their learning experience making them feel part of the experience. It can be down to resources and that should be catered for. It can also be down to low teacher numbers and new teacher inexperience. I hope all this changes for your child soon. Good luck with it.

I de-registered both my DDs and have chosen to home school. They’re both ND and ridiculously bright … and they were just being held back. Thankfully they really enjoy learning at their own pace and are really driven. I have no idea how this will bode for their futures but I do know they’re both much happier, more curious and frankly way above my pay grade as a teacher.

But sustained and consistent effort is praise worthy in itself. I know where you’re coming from OP as my son was like that. He’s doing a difficult subject at Cambridge now so I guess he finally got his reward! 😆

it takes an experienced and special teacher to make an effort to “notice” the kids who always put effort in and always achieve good results because of this. I don’t blame them, I work in a primary myself and it is an insanely busy place every minute of the day. The curriculum is absolutely stuffed. Of course they DO notice the consistently high achieving kids, but I guess when there is so much pressure on their time they need to focus on bringing on the kids who don’t achieve so well and it is easy to forget the “wallpaper children” and just let them carry on doing their thing.

when my own kids were at school they did enjoy getting a glowing end of year report, so I guess for them that’s where the reward lies for them. Some really strong praise from you will be appreciated I’m sure, as will hearing you praise her achievements to a doting grandparent in her presence. I do remember one of my sons saying similar to me, that he never got certificates for academic stuff even though he was top of the class in maths or whatever. So we had a conversation about certificates often rewarding improvement or huge effort whereas he didn’t have much to improve in that area and was lucky enough to find it easy so didn’t need to make a huge effort either. I reassured him that the teacher DID notice him achieve those high marks and that for him, knowing he got top marks is reward in itself, and he agreed.

Actually I think some schools could also make more of giving out more non-academic achievement certificates to the academic kids. Sometimes their whole self esteem and focus is tied up in keeping up their strong academic reputation, and that’s not good. Far better to have a balance and remember to give such kids certificates or points for improvement in non academic things they may struggle with like PE or neat handwriting or emotional skills development or skills such as team work, resilience etc

But again, I don’t blame any school for not being perfect in this area. Their job is difficult and pressured enough, and if the able kids are doing well and not falling behind then that is a big tick in their favour.

As both a teacher and mother of naturally quiet but intelligent children, I feel there are a number of valuable lesson to teach your children in this situation. The first is for your children to learn to make themselves heard- let everyone know when they've worked hard and done well. Dont sit quietly and expect others to notice. The second lesson is that academic success doesn't beat hard work and progress. I have bright children in my class who always succeed academically but rarely push themselves and children who really struggle academically but always push themselves. Which would you reward? Lesson 3- academic success is great but it isn't the best indicator of life success. Research regularly shows that good social skills have a bigger impact on success than academics. There is a far larger skill set needed in the classroom than doing well and being quiet. Teach your children to self advocate, challenge themselves, help others, become emotionally intelligent, get themselves noticed, be likeable and be supportive to all children.

Yeh, I was like that. Knowing I was the best was a good enough reward for me. And I knew that my teachers knew I was brilliant (eg 100% in tests etc) - again it was enough to know. I loved winning. Some children need praise from others, but for some, being the best, regardless of praise, is plenty.

That’s not true, my son has to work hard, yes he gets top marks but doesn’t mean he doesn’t struggle at times. Her daughters feelings are valid, just as the children who get less marks. They all deserve positive re enforcement. This is how the well behaved kids start to get lazy and mirror the behaviour of the others.

Just because a child does well doesn’t meant they didn’t have to work hard, my son got 92% in an exam because he worked so so hard, his mate got 60% because he wasn’t bothered and did not work at home (they are 11) so we can’t just say cause a kid gets 100% it was easy for them or that they didn’t have to work hard.

I one hundred percent agree with you. My daughter is so well behaved and works hard. She is genuinely quite bright. When a kid is naughty and needs to be moved it is always her that is asked to move, when they didn’t have enough reading books to send home, she was the one without. The same with the awards going to the kids that don’t usually behave and when they do for 5 minutes they get the awards. I get positive re enforcement don’t get me wrong but it’s not fair to the behaved kids. My daughter is 5, she should not be expected to self validate as other posters have suggested, she’s a child and deserves the same positive re enforcement that she is doing well.

You're right. This was my DD's experience too, all her reports said 'quiet and well behaved' although I knew she is very intelligent and academically able. Then her results at some test apparently 'blew her teacher away' because he just didn't notice her before. The louder kids, mainly boys, absorbed all the attention. I moved her to a private school where her skills have been recognised and nurtured.

You see, I think I was actually doing something pretty good by consistently getting 100% in spelling tests, considering that I was the kid who had spent the evenings trying to not trigger my mother into giving me another battering or being woken up at 1.37am by her launching into my bedroom screaming at me, pulling my shelves down over the bed and throwing my books at my face.

But hey, the safe, well fed and loved kids got the rewards because it wouldn't be fair if I got something for being able to learn spellings quickly in school in case the book got thrown out or torn up in a rage. To be fair, they couldn't see the bruises or the lack of sleep as I was doing fine at school - how were they supposed to know that abused kids can be clever, too?

It’s all a fix. I have an exceptionally bright 10 year old. He jumps through all the hoops and exceeding targets. Always overlooked. They use points systems as a carrot for the louder ones to get them to behave and the ones who aren’t at the same level to bring them on. Like treating a dog when they pee outside when you want them to, you don’t treat the dog who gets on with it and does it anyway because that is the expectation. I’ve had many a battle over this at parents evening. The good kids get feck all. My son has been sat next to a child all this week that struggles to concentrate and shouts out. They have done my son in to the point he doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow. This has also happened before and the good kids used as classroom management pawns.

Most school prospectus have a gifted and able programme to show how they support /challenge bright children and Ofsted look for evidence to show that bright children are being challenged in school. Read it and if you think your child’s needs are not being met either talk to the class teacher or speak to the head .

Former teacher here: absolutely be fed up with it. But have sympathy with the teacher who is probably doing their best. They will be using rewards to promote good behaviours in children who don't always show them and it's a really sad fact that the quiet, well-behaved kids can get ignored. It happens in the best classrooms. There isn't an easy solution. Have a chat with your child about how their hard work is for their own benefit rather than for the goal of teacher approval and explain how someone who got 60% might have had to work really really hard to get that and that's why the teacher is focusing on them. Then having a quiet word with the teacher and explain that your child is struggling with this, you completely understand why it happens and you have had a chat with them. That might be enough to set a reminder in the teacher's mind to reward the quiet ones. You are right to be frustrated, and a gentle, non-confrontational word with the teacher might help here.

I totally get what you are saying - it was just like this for my very bright but quiet eldest (now year 9 and excelling in a very academically selective school). My youngest is far more outgoing but just as intelligent and we actually moved him just for year 6 because he was so bored at his previous school we were worried I’m he would change from being completely focused and having excellent behaviour, to starting to be naughty. He is now totally engaged again at his new school where the teacher actually takes an interest in the few who are academically very able within the class, and challenges them. Occasionally the lessons still aren’t enough for him, but generally it’s much better than it was. He will also go to his brothers school next year (assuming he passes the entrance exams), but for this year he is so much happier. Have you thought about moving schools for your daughter? We specifically looked for one where they took an interest in the clever kids as well as everyone else.

The points still go to the naughtier or less able kids I’m afraid, but we teach our boys about the intrinsic value of doing well and that helps slightly.

Sigh

it’s always about bright kids, grammar schools, ‘the teacher is ignoring my child’, ‘I’d go private if I could afford it’, isn’t it? No one ever says, ‘you know what, my kid isn’t Einstein, but he/she’s happy in his/her skin’. Endless unwarranted criticism of teaching staff.

Because if she gets the marks straight off then she doesn't need to work hard. The awards are incentives for children who struggle and need positive enforcement to keep going. Your daughter already has big brains as you have already touted about. She will live.