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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with an education system that ignores bright but quiet kids.

257 replies

ButterMints · 27/11/2024 09:17

DD9 came home last night upset because once again her efforts in class had been ignored.

The teacher in the class had awarded class points to kids who had "worked hard in maths".

DD had got every question correct but didn't get a point. Points were awarded to children who didn't get 100%.

This seems to be a pattern with both my kids, where they are consistently ignored in favour of loud but less successful children.

My older child left primary school last year frustrated and disillusioned with school, having spent much of the time in class reading whilst others caught up with the work that they had already completed. And in their words, "I get 100% on my practice SATS papers every time and get nothing, but the kids who go from 50% to 60% get all the rewards."

I get it, I really do. Teachers have finite resources. But as a parent it's incredibly frustrating to once again find myself reassuring my child that their efforts do not go unnoticed.

It's a sad reflection of an education that is letting children down across the board. Schools desperately need more funding so that ALL children can reach their full potential.

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/11/2024 09:30

YANBU but...one thing I have learned in the decades since school is that being quietly excellent doesn't get you far. If you want recognition and advancement you also need to make yourself visible, make yourself heard, and be willing to say pleasantly "I got all the questions right - am I getting any points? What should I be doing differently to get points then?"

If you don't ask in life, you tend not to get. I didn't realise that as a child with lovely and very fair parents, but with my son I am training him to speak up rather than standing back and waiting for someone to reward his politeness and patience.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/11/2024 09:28

Be grateful that your child finds it easy to navigate academic work. Many kids don't and things are so much harder for them.

Teach them to value their own achievements instead of looking for external validation.

Talk to the school if you're really concerned.

MissSquiggles · 27/11/2024 09:27

My son was acknowledged to be the best in year in maths by a long way yet never won the annual maths prize until Y6 because after the 11+ they could no longer say that child A was better than him. 7 years of hell and a mental breakdown because the school said that it was unfair on 29 children to allow my son to meet his potential. There was no concern about his mental health. The education system lumps all children into the same small room when in reality every child is different and needs different education. Frustrating.

Zingy123 · 27/11/2024 09:27

I agree 100% with you OP. It's always the less able or naughty kids who get rewarded.

Glamis · 27/11/2024 09:26

Please be thankful that even without the praise of the teacher, your child has the raw materials to succeed. They will do well in any case.

Laserwho · 27/11/2024 09:24

Children who got 50-60% more than likely did work harder than someone who got 100%. Learning doesn't come easily to many children and properly worked extremely hard to get that 50% and the teacher recognised this and feels the need to reward them. When I was at school in the 80s teacher praised the 100% kids, thankfully now it recognises all abilities.

Bluevelvetsofa · 27/11/2024 09:23

I don’t disagree with you and I see why it’s demotivating for children who consistently work hard and achieve well, to go unrecognised apparently, but maybe their own motivation and success is its own reward.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I agree that appropriate funding, appropriate settings and appropriate support would be the ideal. Won’t happen though.

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