To be fed up with an education system that ignores bright but quiet kids.

I think this would be the fairest way round it (though not easy in busy classrooms either):

Actually I think some schools could also make more of giving out more non-academic achievement certificates to the academic kids… for improvement in non academic things they may struggle with like PE or neat handwriting or emotional skills development or skills such as team work, resilience etc

It’s better than rewarding them for being naturally good at academic stuff. I say that as a parent of two academically ‘gifted’ (i.e. they don’t have to work hard at it, not that they’re geniuses) children who struggle with emotional/social skills and PE respectively but have worked so hard in those areas and that’s seldom recognised.

The other thing, as PPs have mentioned is making sure they are regularly challenged by some of the work they do in class, even if it’s not possible all the time. It should be possible to have some independent work that stretches (in an interesting way) the more academically able children even if the ideal of more teacher time is impossible. I think it’s not fair to reward children for effort not attainment but then not give all children a chance to put effort in. So either provide stretch and then reward the children for that effort or reward for attainment as well as effort if you can’t stretch them.

OP, I totally sympathise and what I have done with my kids is:

1. Explain the true purpose of the awards
2. Regularly praise my children for their achievements (but especially when they’ve worked a bit harder or had to push themselves outside their comfort zone!)
3. Find opportunities for them to do things they find hard and point out to them what that feels like to encourage empathy with their peers
4. Sympathise with them but tell them that we often just have to put up with things and make the best of them and ‘aren’t we lucky that…’

However, I do think you should be discussing with the school what they can do to help your DD to be challenged a little or at least recognise her successes. I was very lucky that, although my kids found regular lessons fairly easy and sadly maths went from being the favourite thing to being boring very quickly, my kids’ primary school were great at providing lots of experiences and opportunities for kids to push themselves and get some recognition (positions of responsibility, poetry recitals, optional academic competitions, etc.) Resources are limited but they should be able to at least try to meet her needs a bit better. If not, I’d be looking for another school or, if she’d be happier staying put, gritting my teeth and focusing on the positives with her until secondary school.

The final straw for my autistic child before deregistering them was not being awarded the privilege of having a plush wombat to sit on their desk for the day in recognition of effort and achievement by the final time it was given out, especially when others who got lower grades or lower ranks on the behaviour chart had had it - they (being quiet, academic and rule-following) tried so hard to be perfect in the hope that this would get the prize that they actually triggered a complete breakdown which took months to recover from. They could not believe that the teacher had "lied" about it being for 'being good' objectively and was actually giving it out for relative good behaviour instead.

Being naturally bright is not a virtue. Mind, it is unfair not to notice them - that's not very inclusive.

NO, maybe she got the marks because she has ALREADY been working hard. For a very long time??
You sound so nasty and vociferous about children who achieve high marks - why do you have this idea that its impossible that they achieved them via high marks?!

You sound bitter and frankly quite jealous

Star of the week is Bullshit in most schools anyway and the older kids know it.
When she was around 8 DD caught sight of a list on her teachers desk that scheduled all the Stars of the week for the coming year, presumably to make sure everyone got a chance. Teacher came a cropper when the child awarded it one week had been on holiday all that week and the one before.

May have already posted this but overheard my very grand mum friend say to
her son when he was sad about once again being passed over for star of the week despite being good and hard working consistently “cheer up we don’t need external validation in our family darling”.

Hang on in there primary mums. This stops at secondary. Your kids will get the last laugh. The gcse examining boards don’t care about anything but what is on those exam papers. Dd1 was quiet and hard working and got stellar results. The school sure as hell
boast about you then!

I think there are two issues. The first they are not being stretched at school. Sprak to the teacher ask if they can help with this. Maybe do some Bbc bitesize at home or look uo things they are doing in class.

Not feeling rewarded cam you do a scheme at home keep a track of number of books they read every 5 they get a reward. Same for good marks at home.

The point of the OP is that it doesnt recognise all abilities though.
It ignores the naturally bright.
My kids fell in to this category and were always overlooked for awards, house points, etc.
They could never understand why they or their work was never acknowledged by the teacher like their lesser well behaved class mates or those getting lower marks were.

Exactly, and why virtually removing music (and art and drama) from the core of state schools' curricula is appalling. A good education includes these, along with languages (Latin is a good one). These are not 'extras' or 'enrichments' to be bolted on, they are utterly necessary.

I can assure you music is very academic, it's not just about playing in instrument. In GCSE my son studied composition, listening and appraising. Develope and understand in-depth knowlege of musical elements musical context and musical language and music theory He needed to understand most instruments not just the ones he plays and he studied Beethoven and modern music, his schools specialised in Paul Simon. He also had to learn to read music, and it helps alot if you are in the top set on maths, believe or not maths is beneficial in music. Music is very academic, it's not just about putting singing in thevschool play. He also needed to compose several pieces and do solo and group performances.

What is unacademic about music and drama? Afaik these are both highly academic when done as they should be.

Yeah I'm young so what? Means I'm more placed to speak about what's going on in schools than you as I only left secondary 7 years ago.

And yeah they definitely do heap attention and praise on the class little shit when he/she only punches one teacher a week instead of his usual three. My son is in primary school and even he's noticing this already

I'll let you off because it's been so long since you went to school you're completely out of touch either that or your kid is the one throwing chairs around the class.

*he apologised profusely

For me personally it has been damaging to not have my ability recognised or acknowledge even slightly in fact my primary school were in complete denial just because I was quiet.
My parents praised me and I did know I was capable but having my year 4 teacher tell my parents to stop doing my homework for me when I was doing it myself was a kick in the guts. In year 6 I got one of the top sats grades in the class but had spent the year on the second from bottom table. I worked hard for those results and it hurts so much when in my end of year report it said "I fluked" the results. Time and time again the school were completely incredulous whenever I did well it does dint your confidence and belief in yourself no matter how encouraging your homelife is.

I experienced it again during my PhD when my supervisor accused me of copying my post docs work when I had done it by myself. I apologise profusely (very unlike him!)

This is everything that is wrong with the system. Kids are kids, with the exact same emotional needs regardless of academic ability or behavioural challenges. Being taken for granted is soul-destroying.

The thread is about academically able kids being ignored at school so its perfectly reasonable to assume that parents with kids like that will be discussing it on here.
No humble bragging that I can see

If your child is amazing as you think they are, I'm sure they get enough praise from you, and I'm sure you let them know how incompetent their teachers are

No one is bragging, and no one is denigrating teachers. I used to be one, still volunteer in class and as a governor, and have nothing but respect for the work that they do.

But our academically able children are not being challenged or inspired at school, and a considerable amount of potential is being lost. We need to support those who have more barriers to learning, of course we do, but equally we supposedly live in a knowledge-based economy, and our society urgently needs clever people who can become the engineers, medics, climate scientists, thinkers and leaders of the future. We are in danger of losing a lot of those at the moment, I believe, with our tendency towards anti-intellectualism and our refusal to acknowledge and encourage the high achievers.

My own DD will probably be fine, with her two educated, professional parents. But I have always felt particularly passionately about high attaining children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, who may not need the support they need at home. At the moment they're generally not getting the support they need at school either, and I worry about the implications for social mobility in this country.

This is nothing to do with the supposed incompetence of teachers. I have never said this at all. It is a known fact that the top 5% and bottom 5% are not catered for adequately in schools. This is about a system which is failing to provide a good education for all.

And if you think I am bragging then think again. 7 years of hell and a mental breakdown because of the system is nothing to brag about. Your attitude is exactly why I did not tell any of my friends what I and my son were going through and still have not Because to you gifted is perfect. Try living it because you will find it is not.

All children should receive encouragement.

The not-so-humble bragging in this thread is very strong.

You guys with your exceptionally gifted children, just stop to think why other kids need the encouragement more.

If your child is amazing as you think they are, I'm sure they get enough praise from you, and I'm sure you let them know how incompetent their teachers are.

Because of the lack of praise (not just this one prize) for his academic success he withdrew into himself, hid his ability and mentally this affected him badly. He is now at a school where academic ability is valued as much as sport, drama and music are and he is thriving. Those at the top end academically desperately need to see that they are valued which he was not.

Are you saying another child always got the prize? But why did it matter?

Absolutely true

@TempestTost

But I am not convinced that is the goal actually, as I understand it it is to help all kids reach their academic potential. Not only for their own good, but for the good of society.

I agree that this should be the goal but I don’t think it is. I don’t think our government (current or previous) care about getting all kids to reach their potential. They want all children to be able to surpass a certain binary threshold, and that means focusing on the ones who are struggling.

The education absolutely should be set up to better support all children to reach their potential but that isn’t going to happen which it is so horrifically underfunded.