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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not celebrating birthdays or Christmas?

189 replies

Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 08:31

I was working an agency shift yesterday when one of my colleagues confessed that she doesn’t celebrate her children’s birthdays or Christmas. They are only 8 and 4, and will be hearing from school friends all about Christmas and how many presents they’re going to get, etc. She said it’s because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness and wants to raise her girls as Witnesses also, but I can’t help but feel sad for them.

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 27/11/2024 16:41

EarthaKittsVoice · 27/11/2024 16:23

I want to add on to this. Another thing is that women are not allowed to lead prayer - only men. This means if a father is away or has passed away the eldest son (if there is one) would be the one to lead prayer... ahead of the mother.

JW is a cult whichever way you look at it.

Another religión where women are treated as second class citizens then.
Men and women are equal. Why dont they stand up to the men and change it?

PassingStranger · 27/11/2024 16:40

Don't disagree with that.
Father Christmas is a fairytale, makes you tell lies and puts lots of pressure on parents.
We tell Children not to lie and then we do it to them.

Dazzledee · 27/11/2024 16:25

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:09

JW’s aren’t a cult omg, they’re Christian’s that follow the Bible that’s why they follow the command of Jesus to preach as he did although it’s annoying for people, the difference between them and other Christian’s is they actually observe what’s in the Bible so you wouldn’t ever find a JW fighting in a war and killing others

Many celebrations such as Easter, Christmas,Halloween and Birthdays although lovely are completely pagan and many other religions also recognise this

Not quite true! They follow their version of the Bible - the new world translation which has been changed and adapted many times. This has been changed to fit in with their false beliefs opposed to changing their beliefs to fit in with accurate translations of the bible. Do JW not also follow the watch tower which tells them how to live, and place more importance on this than the actual bible?
JW believe so many false doctrines and are probably the biggest cult of our time!

Horrace · 27/11/2024 16:24

afaloren · 27/11/2024 16:22

Thank you for clarifying. Sounds a bit grim!

Very grim

That's why I got out.

The thought spending eternity with JWs beyong grim.

I'd rather spend eternity in hell with all the interesting people

EarthaKittsVoice · 27/11/2024 16:23

EarthaKittsVoice · 27/11/2024 16:07

JW is a cult. The bible they follow is not recognised and the Norwegian government had taken them to court to take away their charity/religious status. To say they are like other Christians is false.

The JW organisation is mainly a book publishing company. The followers of this cult have to go door knocking for number of hours per month and the time is monitored. So if you are down a few hours you will be spoken to.

There is no childrens service or activities such as Sunday School.

Please a Google search will tell you that JW is a cult. Many are harmed mentally and emotionally - this was part of why the Norwegian government took them to court. JW is a cult.

I want to add on to this. Another thing is that women are not allowed to lead prayer - only men. This means if a father is away or has passed away the eldest son (if there is one) would be the one to lead prayer... ahead of the mother.

JW is a cult whichever way you look at it.

afaloren · 27/11/2024 16:22

Horrace · 27/11/2024 16:19

They believe 144,000 will go to heaven and rule with Jesus over earth.
Everyone else (JWs) will live in paradise on earth forever. The rest of us will be destroyed at Armagedon by Jehovah

Thank you for clarifying. Sounds a bit grim!

Cluelesssanta · 27/11/2024 16:20

My male cousin married a JW female,and had children. My lovely auntie, and her husband, were cut out of his life. Very sad.

recipientofraspberries · 27/11/2024 16:20

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:09

JW’s aren’t a cult omg, they’re Christian’s that follow the Bible that’s why they follow the command of Jesus to preach as he did although it’s annoying for people, the difference between them and other Christian’s is they actually observe what’s in the Bible so you wouldn’t ever find a JW fighting in a war and killing others

Many celebrations such as Easter, Christmas,Halloween and Birthdays although lovely are completely pagan and many other religions also recognise this

Having a holy book and being aligned with an established religion doesn't preclude something from being a cult. JW has all the hallmarks.

Horrace · 27/11/2024 16:19

afaloren · 27/11/2024 16:13

Here’s something I’ve heard about JWs and that’s that only a finite number of people are allowed into heaven. So why knock doors and try to recruit? Or is that nonsense? Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to reply.

They believe 144,000 will go to heaven and rule with Jesus over earth.
Everyone else (JWs) will live in paradise on earth forever. The rest of us will be destroyed at Armagedon by Jehovah

afaloren · 27/11/2024 16:13

Here’s something I’ve heard about JWs and that’s that only a finite number of people are allowed into heaven. So why knock doors and try to recruit? Or is that nonsense? Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to reply.

EarthaKittsVoice · 27/11/2024 16:07

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:09

JW’s aren’t a cult omg, they’re Christian’s that follow the Bible that’s why they follow the command of Jesus to preach as he did although it’s annoying for people, the difference between them and other Christian’s is they actually observe what’s in the Bible so you wouldn’t ever find a JW fighting in a war and killing others

Many celebrations such as Easter, Christmas,Halloween and Birthdays although lovely are completely pagan and many other religions also recognise this

JW is a cult. The bible they follow is not recognised and the Norwegian government had taken them to court to take away their charity/religious status. To say they are like other Christians is false.

The JW organisation is mainly a book publishing company. The followers of this cult have to go door knocking for number of hours per month and the time is monitored. So if you are down a few hours you will be spoken to.

There is no childrens service or activities such as Sunday School.

Please a Google search will tell you that JW is a cult. Many are harmed mentally and emotionally - this was part of why the Norwegian government took them to court. JW is a cult.

YouNeedSocks · 27/11/2024 15:52

I have a good friend who is a JW. I don't think she is hugely strict as she has a lot of non JW friends and enjoys popular culture etc (which I have hard done strict one avoid) but she does attend meetings and has done door knocking. Her and her family seem to celebrate other things in the year eg anniversaries and milestones like the end of the school year are a big deal.

Nanny0gg · 27/11/2024 15:47

Ponoka7 · 27/11/2024 13:13

Interesting that this thread and some of the posts have been allowed to stand. If we were discussing other religions in the same way, post after post would be being removed. If we were questioning the dress code forced onto little girls, or the split in the place of worship (including at funerals) , the posts would be removed. As for the post about the man dying from Aids being shunned in the JW family, there are a lot of religions which would do the same. In some religions his Mother or sister can't attend the funeral anyway. There's religions that will let women die, rather than be properly examined by a male doctor. There's communities that will stay silent when women (and girls) are beaten and murdered. Really interesting the difference in how MN has allowed this thread.
@Green777

The thing is, most religions date back centuries and were used as a way to explain creation and the world because no Science

I am even more sceptical of 'new' religions.
JW was invented in 1870 and made up to suit the founder's view. And now we do have Science

Nanny0gg · 27/11/2024 15:41

theeyeofdoe · 27/11/2024 08:59

The not celebrating birthdays thing is weird.
They are allowed to choose another special day though and celebrate that!

Lots of religions don't celebrate Christmas...

They do tend to have other celebrations though...

needsomewarmsunshine · 27/11/2024 15:31

M340 · 27/11/2024 12:57

Sounds exhilarating.

Actually I don't give a duck what you or anyone else thinks. Christmas and easter have been laid over original pagan festivals anyway.

NewGreenDuck · 27/11/2024 14:56

I contacted the local kingdom hall and told them if they carried on calling at mine I would consider it to be harassment. I also have a sticker saying ' no religious bodies' on my door. Despite that the Mormons called recently. I did point it out to them and asked them, firmly, not to call again.
I used to give the JWs the quote from Buddha about why evil exists, but they weren't impressed.

FamilyPhoto · 27/11/2024 14:45

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/11/2024 09:21

Ditto. Despite my asking them more than once not to call again, because I’m not, and never will be interested, they keep coming.
IMO they are an infernal bloody nuisance and I for one, do look on them as a pernicious cult to be avoided.

Contack your local Kingdom Hall ( I think its called ) and ask to be put on the do not call list.
I did this for a client and myself, In both cases it worked.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2024 14:41

But there are examples of that in every religion. And of abuse. And of misogyny. That doesn't make them all cults. It doesn't make everyone in them abusive or bad.

Two (hundred, thousand, maybe million) wrongs don't make a right. A religion - or groups within one- and also some non religious groups may to varying extents exhibit cultish behaviours. That applies to more mainstream branches of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism...
I've already made the point that the followers are likely to be sincerely good people. The leadership though... not so much.

Wendolino · 27/11/2024 14:40

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER when we moved to our present house 20 years ago, we noticed JWs, at least monthly, going up and down the road. I recognised them from our last road. They never, ever came to our door. The woman we bought from was, according to our neighbours, an old dragon. Our house must be on an avoid at all costs list!

irregularegular · 27/11/2024 14:36

When I was a child the family next door to me were Jehovah's Witnesses. The daughter was my age and my best friend through junior school and early years of secondary. They had a lovely childhood and I don't think they really missed out on much at all. My friend sometimes had parties for her friends, they just weren't birthdays. They had present days that coincided with their annual (or more?) JW "assembly". They had holidays, days out etc just like anyone else.

Horrace · 27/11/2024 14:29

Jwfacts.com is an excellent impartial source of information on the JW religion

MmeHennyPenny · 27/11/2024 14:22

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:57

@ErrolTheDragon

Youre basically saying they’re a cult for believing in the Bible. You’re also saying Jesus was sus because he preached and told his followers to. He was hated and put to death for being different and actually following gods word and said in the Bible his followers would be different and gated too because actually being a true Christian and loving others, preaching and using the Bible as a guide to living is very unusual now.

You obviously don’t believe the Bible but it’s nice to respect others beliefs I think.

JWs have their own translation of the Bible, The New World Translation. There are some quite fundamental differences from the Christian Bible.
It’s worth doing some research if you are interested.

CheesecakeTheCapybara · 27/11/2024 14:11

@Green777 some religions prohibit the use of recreational drugs, yes . That's not the same as medicine which is not forbidden in the bible and can save lives. Blood transfusions save lives, so not the same as getting high.

whathaveiforgotten · 27/11/2024 14:07

@Green777

Abstaining from blood in their view is a direct command from God, as with other religions. Other religions also prohibit pork, alcohol, drugs. It would be extremely extremely rare nowadays for someone to die without blood, due to amazing medical advances.

What a bizarre comparison.

Alcohol and drugs are not good for you.

Prohibiting pork isn't going to kill you.

Not having a blood transfusion if you're deemed medically in need of one is hugely dangerous and life threatening.

Parents refusing for their child to have life saving medical treatment isn't remotely compatible to not letting them have sausages or encouraging them to abstain from drugs and alcohol.

Horrace · 27/11/2024 13:35

@CheesecakeTheCapybara

They actually don't touch black pudding either.

It's just that you wouldn't hear about that as avoiding food with blood in it doesn't take life and therefore doesn't make the news.

I still couldn't bring myself to even try to eat black pudding. It's so drilled into me.

But I absolutely would accept blood if I needed it. And i donate blood.

I couldn't wait to donate blood when I left the cult.

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