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Original poster

To be worried about stains on my boyfriend’s sofa

84 replies

DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 06:14

I spotted a v bright pink sticky stain (bubble gum colour and thick) on my bf’s sofa. I asked him about it and he said he had no idea what it was. He’s renting and the sofa doesn’t belong to him but I feel sure I would have noticed it if it’d been there from when he moved in?

He cleaned it off a few weeks ago but when I went back today, there’s a similar texture and shape black stain in exactly the same place! I’ll photograph this one, wish I had done the last one.

I’ve been seeing him for 6 months. We both have kids in their early 20s and are separated. We live in separate flats to each other. He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on many times and I’m beginning to worry.

OP posts:
OliviaRodrighost · 27/11/2024 12:49

I would throw this one back and find a man who at the very least doesn’t openly admit to being unfaithful. How low is your bar, exactly?

WhatMe123 · 27/11/2024 12:44

Pretty sure that's just a stain. I feel your reading into things too much and clearly
Don't trust him op

Fluufer · 27/11/2024 12:34

He's a cheat with a dirty sofa. Ditch him for the cheating.

ChristmasGrinch24 · 27/11/2024 12:20

That stain could be anything, could be food, drink etc.

You obviously don't trust the man, so just leave him instead of freaking out about random stains on sofas. That's not normal.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 27/11/2024 12:16

DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 12:02

I do think maybe I’ve gone a bit bonkers. I shouldn’t have to be worrying like this.

For context, we get on really well in all other ways and he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

It’s like you don’t know if the doubt is real or in your mind? I haven’t had a serious relationship with a man who’s not cheated on me.

It doesn't matter how well you get on. Without trust, you don't have a relationship that is worth investing time and effort in.

You have been cheated on before - if you don't want that to happen again, then you need to ditch this self-confessed cheater.

sandyhappypeople · 27/11/2024 12:15

DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 12:02

I do think maybe I’ve gone a bit bonkers. I shouldn’t have to be worrying like this.

For context, we get on really well in all other ways and he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

It’s like you don’t know if the doubt is real or in your mind? I haven’t had a serious relationship with a man who’s not cheated on me.

he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

They all are at 6 months into a casual relationship.. it's not hard to keep up the pretence at that stage, he won't 'slip' until he knows he's got you hook line and sinker.

If you've never been in a relationship where someone hasn't cheated on you then you may as well walk away now, your mental health will be through the floor with this one.

InBedBy10 · 27/11/2024 12:08

Why are you with someone who openly admits to cheating on past partners? He's telling you who he is.. believe him.

End it now. You are not special, you're not going to change him. He'll cheat on you like he cheated on the others.

Userengage · 27/11/2024 12:07

He’s a cheat, his sofa is stained - just move on.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 27/11/2024 12:05

"He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about."

This is your problem. You can't trust him. If it wasn't stains on the sofa, it'd be something else making you feel uneasy.

I'd end it now, while there's no real commitment, as I'd have no interest in pursuing a future with an untrustworthy man.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 27/11/2024 12:04

Life is too short to be staring at random stains on your boyfriend's sofa (and taking pictures!)

If you don't trust him, dump him!

ATastingMenuButItsAllCrisps · 27/11/2024 12:04

Why are you dating a known, repeat cheater?

ByHardyRubyEagle · 27/11/2024 12:04

Well I thought you were going to say there was jiz everywhere.

Original poster
DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 12:03

Stinksmum · 27/11/2024 08:18

Maybe the black stain in exactly the same place is some dirt that has adhered to the original, still sticky, mark that wasn't cleaned thoroughly? Though I wouldn't go so far as to say "disgusting stain filled sofa" when the OP has only mentioned one mark on there.

It’s a clean sofa but for those marks.

OP posts:
Original poster
DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 12:02

I do think maybe I’ve gone a bit bonkers. I shouldn’t have to be worrying like this.

For context, we get on really well in all other ways and he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

It’s like you don’t know if the doubt is real or in your mind? I haven’t had a serious relationship with a man who’s not cheated on me.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 27/11/2024 10:56

Go take a look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you're taking photographs of stains on a sofa and asked strangers for their opinions on whether your boyfriend is cheating. Think about that, have a word with yourself and go pack whatever you've got in his flat, as this relationship is going nowhere.

sweetpickle2 · 27/11/2024 10:55

That stain could be anything.

The issue here isn't the stain, it's that you know deep down you don't trust him so you're looking for clues in tiny irrelevant sofa stains.

If you can't trust him then I don't think this one's a keeper, OP.

Original poster
DemiSec9 · 27/11/2024 10:37

The pink stain looked like a glob of lipstick - you know if a pinhead sized lump broke off then was ground into fabric? It was bright pink.

He doesn’t have female relatives who visit, just a grown up son.

Sending a pic of the new black marks which could easily be a leaked pen but it’s weird that it’s so close to where the other stain was.

To be worried about stains on my boyfriend’s sofa
OP posts:
Sprinklecake97 · 27/11/2024 08:53

cookiebee · 27/11/2024 06:56

Maybe he’s shagging mr blobby and is doing a really good job of it!

🤣🤣🤣

Doggymummar · 27/11/2024 08:48

I thought she was worried it was lube

Bumcake · 27/11/2024 08:46

Why are you worried about it, what do you think it is?

Stinksmum · 27/11/2024 08:18

Maybe the black stain in exactly the same place is some dirt that has adhered to the original, still sticky, mark that wasn't cleaned thoroughly? Though I wouldn't go so far as to say "disgusting stain filled sofa" when the OP has only mentioned one mark on there.

PinedApple · 27/11/2024 08:10

cookiebee · 27/11/2024 06:56

Maybe he’s shagging mr blobby and is doing a really good job of it!

🤣

cookiebee · 27/11/2024 06:56

Maybe he’s shagging mr blobby and is doing a really good job of it!

RedHelenB · 27/11/2024 06:51

KimberleyClark · 27/11/2024 06:29

Why date someone with a history of cheating?

Why date someone with a disgusting stain filled sofa,

Teanbiscuits33 · 27/11/2024 06:48

Annabella92 · 27/11/2024 06:38

I thought lipgloss/stick, eyemakeup

Hmmm possibly, who wears black lipstick though? Very few people I would think, although I know a few do I think that’s unlikely, and why would eye make up be that thick? I thought blood because it can sometimes be quite thick/mucus like and if it’s in the exact same place whoever it is (if anyone) might sit on the same seat with their crotch area in the same spot so it would make more sense 🤮 awful thought, I know 🤣. That’s how I thought OP may have been thinking that, but even I think it’s a reach, personally. It could literally be anything, but either way I couldn’t be arsed if I didn’t trust him, just leave.